Welcome, thanks for clicking by and I hope you're enjoying our New World Disorder. Where ya been? What took ya so long? You think I enjoy being stashed in here with all these dudes? If it smelled like a locker room in here it'd be a vast improvement. If this isn't the most interesting profile you've seen, I'll buy you a congressman of your choice if it, at least, doesn't make your top 500.
Not that I'm a total techno-feeb, but if you tell me you have a bluetooth, I'll suggest you get to a dentist. I was born in central America-- Indiana-- under the sun sign of Virgo on the crisp of Leo which makes me fussy aggressive with a Hoosier twang. At age 7, I left Indy and moved to Nevada to look for work. Opportunities for a lad of my talent, iconoclastic distinctions and proclivities were severely limited east of anywhere. By age 15, I'd learned to wave bye-bye, begun my thesis on laces vs. velcro and saw my upside potential was only limited by my inability to raise my IQ to a number above my body temp.
If life were easy, everyone would be living. Are you? And just having a pulse doesn't count as living. My hamster used to have a pulse until it annoyed the cat one too many times.
I have other less ambiguous visual images I can send you upon request. I'm just trying to slow down the social shoppers whose primary interest is scrounging for man candy like a diabetic trick-or-treater about to turn into a Peeps pumpkin. Let's just find out who's authentic when they proclaim 'sense of humor is most important.'
I'm also 100% gluten free. Well, let me rephrase that. I'm actually gluten filled, but I'm including it at no charge. Thus, gluten fr..... (Did I mention I'm only using dry humor during the drought?)
(and diagonal parking in a parallel universe).
Also, Helen Reddy, Janis Joplin, Pink, Katy Perry, Lou Rawls, Debbie Gibson (the singer-- not the apprentice), Olivia Newton-John, Norah Jones, Carly Simon, Chicago, Mel Torme', Red Skelton, Pete Barbutti, Norm MacDonald, Carrie Underwood, Trisha Yearwood, Dolly Parton (would not), Roy's, Landry's, Blue Man Group, Enya, Devo, Gilbert Gottfried, Stevie Nix, George Carlin, Mama's Fish House, Perry Como, The General Store, Miguel's, Char-Pit, Sprouts, Chart House, Walter Matthau, Shirley MacLaine, Albert Brooks, Dick Shawn, Marilyn Chambers, Benihana's, Benny Hill, Napoleon Hill, Napoleon Dynamite