dachte
38 Manhattan, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
dachte
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Quirky and shy intellectual with scholastic and philosophical roots. Ideas are the most important thing in my life. I spend my serious time thinking about programming and science and philosophy and law. I balance that out with gallows humour, bad puns, and absurdism, and sometimes I like to people-watch or sit in the woods (which was much easier before I moved to NYC). Thinking a lot takes people pretty far off the beaten path, and done right it clears a lot of the common perspectives and sentiments away. Which means that I'm pretty weird, and while I probably have a pretty number of flaws and defects, they're hopefully at least interesting ones.

I live in Chelsea right by the High Line. In the past I've lived in Brooklyn, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Cleveland, Darien, and Dallas. There are times when I dream of having a nice house with lots of woods and a river. And there are times when leaving The City (meaning NYC) is unimaginable, meaning I might be making the usual apartment size/space tradeoffs forever.
What I’m doing with my life
I want to keep curating my perspectives - what goes into my worldview, while exposing myself to new ideas. And I hope to manage to mostly enjoy the moments that keep me humble and laughing at my failings. I laugh at other people too, and I'd at least like to hope that the sense of fairness that I see in my life is mostly not-delusion. Even if it's not the same notion of fairness that most people use - I think many of these words differ a lot in meaning between people - words are scaffolding for our mental lives. Or to use a nice Kahlil Gibran quote:
"In truth we talk only to ourselves, but sometimes we talk loud enough that others may hear us"

To get my head out of the clouds for a bit and talk about more concrete things (although if you get to know me you'll know that my head is very often in the clouds and it's not actually a place for the ditzy so much as the brave)...

I take a lot of walks. They give me time to think, and I also like seeing how people live (and thinking about architecture, and how those two fit together). I sometimes worry about stagnation, but taking a walk exposes me to new things when I'm looking outward, and when I'm looking inward a walk keeps me away from some kinds of distraction that win my attention a little too often.

I'm a (Unix systems) programmer by trade, and I also teach that trade (and related trades) to other people whenever I can be bothered to recruit enough people to run another class.

In the past I did neuroscience research (published some papers), dabbled in bioinformatics, and a few other sciency things. I still consider myself a scientist. And a philosopher, although the qualifications for that are a lot looser - philosophy is more a lifestyle and obsession than it has ever been a profession or something that required external recognition. If I were starting my career over again, I'd be a researcher in mechanisms of cellular differentiation and/or aging. Articles like these make my heart sing:
http://science.sciencemag.org/content/333/6040/348

In the evenings, I often go to events at museums or scientific societies, occasionally to philosophy meetups.

I sometimes jog or go to a climbing gym, and I'd love to have someone to go hiking/camping with occasionally.

One thing I am not is particularly outgoing. I've always been more inward-looking than outward-looking, and I tend to overthink everything, including conversations I'm in. While I like people (including all the messy and silly stuff in our heads), it's more a distant appreciation than anything else. I'm also not that trusting, even of myself. That said, I still would love to meet someone to be mental and physical companionship for awhile, and if things go really well and there's mutual interest, I'd love to start a family. I keep hoping I'm not too old for that, and chiding myself for not having had many relationships (or even dates) in my life given how much I want that.
I’m really good at
I'm trying to be careful, fair, and deliberate in some parts of life, without letting that intent entirely shape who I am - I think stories are a big part of how we understand ourselves and I don't want some concept of rationality (which are often overblown and overrated) draining the beautiful swamp in my head. I at least want to always be thinking and often have reasons.

I'd like to think I'm a good teacher, not just in terms of a hat I put on so much as a life commitment to helping people deepen their knowledge of things and avoid easy and wrong understandings. Even when those would be more satisfying.

I'm unfortunately an annoyingly good spellchecker, typo-checker, and bughunter (in code). A misplaced apostrophe is to me like a splinter. But I still try to play with language a lot so as not to be too stuffy.

In the same grain, I often try to loosen people's beliefs on just about everything. And their defintions of words. Plus I'm fairly contrarian on many topics because excessive certainty really bothers me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books (Fiction) - Authors:
Murakami, Kundera, Ken Macleod, Rushdie. Marlen Haushofer's "Die Wand" was also fantastic.

Books (Nonfiction)
Theory of Justice, (Neuroscience textbooks), Preconditions of Socialism, Plato's Republic, the Muqadimmah. They're not books, but I also spend a lot of time reading academic journals on select sciences and current events.

Movies
Vertigo, Le Dîner de Cons, Direktøren for det hele, Brazil, Naked Lunch, City of Lost Children, Detective Heart of America. And most things Jan Svankmajer has ever made.

Shows
QI, House of Cards (the original British one), MST3k, Yes Minister, ST:DS9, Last Week Tonight

Music
Katzenjammer, Fiona Apple, Firewater, VNV Nation, Amsterdam Klezmer Band, Danny Elfman, Bad Religion, Vienna Teng, Paramore, Scott Joplin.

Avril Lavigne and the Veronicas are two guilty pleasures. I have an accordion and someday I hope to have a Piano and/or a String Bass again.

Food
Paneer Makhani, Saag Paneer, Samosa, Fondue, Hummus, Red Curry Tofu, Avocado Rolls. I also like Veggie Burritos, and ..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_2bdo0NQIU
I am a vegetarian, but only by taste. I don't care what you eat unless it smells awful and I need to be around it.

Comedy
Jim Gaffigan, Sarah Silverman, Frankie Boyle, Iliza Schlesinger, Sasha Baron Cohen, Armstrong and Miller, Leslie Nielsen (movies)

Games
Fallout's a lot of fun. I also like turn-based strategy games like Civ and MOO. Off the computer, I like Illuminati, Ubi, Munchkin, and a lot of the other recently-invented games.
The six things I could never do without
Writing material, a very smart phone to organise my life, a good laptop, comfortable shoes, showers, modern medicine.

Travel I try to do yearly
*DragonCon - Every September
*Camping or Hiking - I hope to fit a trip in every year
*Visit my sisters and my nephews (usually in Cleveland or Boston)

I'd like to travel a bit more often
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cell differentiation and pluripotency. The RNA World Hypothesis. Space. Nature of cognition. Political systems. Philosophy. Also plenty of absolutely absurd things.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably not doing anything special. I randomly work quite late if I'm doing something that I don't want to put down. Occasionally Meetups or lectures happen on fridays, although that's rare. I try to keep a lot of unscheduled time in my life so I can let my mood guide me to what's right for the moment. And so I can say "yes" to as much last minute interestingness as possible.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm using this section to help you tell if I fit into any "dealbreaker" categories, to save us both time and possibly a broken heart.

I'll judge you a little bit if you do yoga. It's great the people are getting some exercise and what people wear for it is sometimes pretty sexy, but yoga's a bit new-agey. And bikram yoga smells awful. Not a disqualifier, just something I'll poke a bit of fun at.

I live with two cats that are both about 15 years old. They don't act particularly old. They do the usual cat things, annoying and cool. I like to tickle their feet.

I'm pretty introverted. I don't make friends easily and I don't have any skill at flirting; there are generally gaps of years between my dating people. If I end up at a party I tend to mostly stand alone and watch people, unless I know some people at the party well. Unless there's dancing, because if I like the music I'll be alternating between high-energy not-touch-the-floor-much dancing, and resting from how exhausting that can be.

I write a lot about everything, in various places on the internet.

My family is racially, religiously, and politically mixed. My mum voted for Trump, my dad likely voted for Hillary. My politics and cultural views have their own consistency but don't fit either liberal or conservative (or libertarian) norms; they're mixed, and I'm outspoken on my views no matter where they sit on the spectrum. I think basically everybody's political philosophy makes sense if you grant them their foundations, and that it's hard to argue about what people's foundations should be. I get annoyed when people don't make the effort to understand political views very different than theirs, or paint their views as inevitable. But I also sometimes am on the other side of that for a bit - I'm not perfect. I think we should be able to understand even views we find really reprehensible and to try to be fair with them, without necessarily signing on to coexisting with them or approving of them. And of course there are plenty of views I think are just silly (or based on false premises) but I'd tolerate them for some suitable notion of tolerate specific to them.

My strongest political conviction is for freedom of speech, both as a legal norm and as a social one. I believe we should try, as much as is possible, to make differences in viewpoints and language and definitions consequenceless. Meaning I stand with Charlie Hebdo and Mad Magazine (my Grandma introduced me to it initially) and I think it's healthy that people are offended whether they're rich and powerful or downtrodden.

I believe in busting political taboos and bubbles, which gets me in trouble with most people who have strong political views. I sometimes read such diverse voices as Jezebel, National Review, Reason, and International Socialist Review. They're all crazy sometimes, insightful at other times. I've read Germaine Greer, Ayn Rand, Robert Nozick, and Andrea Dworkin, and think they're all interesting - would be happy to talk about their ideas whether and where I agree with them or not.

Chances are in intellectual discussions, you'll either find me refreshingly different and deep, or incredibly frustrating. I pay a lot of attention to different ways of defining things and how concepts line up (or don't) with terms, and I like to play with ideas and words.

I like my principles more than I like people, although I like people best when they don't make me choose.
You should message me if
I dread the situation of needing to tell someone that I don't find them physically attractive. If you're going to open the conversation (and you probably should as I'm kinda shy and rarely do) please have pics on your profile that show you sufficiently well that I can tell if I'm attracted.

What I want from a relationship:
An equal
Who is very intelligent and reasonably assertive
Whom I find attractive (in decent shape, not fat)
Fitting a few musts (atheist/agnostic, monogamous, you read things)
Who wants to spend a lot of time together
With lots of conversations
Who also wants to explore life together (science! philosophy! other ideas!)
And who appreciates absurd humour and silly puns
And someone who feels that gender is just about genetics and maybe body shape, not about hobbies (I knit) or roles in the workplace or who should lead in a relationship.

And let's get this out of the way too. I'm bisexual. I'm not into the non-straight subculture, and while I'm sexually about equally interested in guys and gals, I'm only romantically into gals. And I'm monogamous. So unless you want to read it as a sign that I'm open to some things in the bedroom that most guys might not be into (which is a fair assumption), or if you're really homophobic or want a very masculine guy (in which case we're probably not a good fit for other reasons), it really shouldn't impact us.

Like you I have a long list of silly-specific things beyond this that "would be nice" (that probably nobody I'll ever meet will match all of), but I really just want a great companion I can get along with and will grow to love, to build a life and maybe a family together.

I have this fantasy of growing old with someone and sitting on a porch on a rainy day watching the storm, heading out into the wet wind to dance with them as it pours down. Maybe that could be you.
More