I live in Chelsea right by the High Line. In the past I've lived in Brooklyn, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Cleveland, Darien, and Dallas. There are times when I dream of having a nice house with lots of woods and a river. And there are times when leaving The City (meaning NYC) is unimaginable, meaning I might be making the usual apartment size/space tradeoffs forever.
"In truth we talk only to ourselves, but sometimes we talk loud enough that others may hear us"
To get my head out of the clouds for a bit and talk about more concrete things (although if you get to know me you'll know that my head is very often in the clouds and it's not actually a place for the ditzy so much as the brave)...
I take a lot of walks. They give me time to think, and I also like seeing how people live (and thinking about architecture, and how those two fit together). I sometimes worry about stagnation, but taking a walk exposes me to new things when I'm looking outward, and when I'm looking inward a walk keeps me away from some kinds of distraction that win my attention a little too often.
I'm a (Unix systems) programmer by trade, and I also teach that trade (and related trades) to other people whenever I can be bothered to recruit enough people to run another class.
In the past I did neuroscience research (published some papers), dabbled in bioinformatics, and a few other sciency things. I still consider myself a scientist. And a philosopher, although the qualifications for that are a lot looser - philosophy is more a lifestyle and obsession than it has ever been a profession or something that required external recognition. If I were starting my career over again, I'd be a researcher in mechanisms of cellular differentiation and/or aging. Articles like these make my heart sing:
In the evenings, I often go to events at museums or scientific societies, occasionally to philosophy meetups.
I sometimes jog or go to a climbing gym, and I'd love to have someone to go hiking/camping with occasionally.
One thing I am not is particularly outgoing. I've always been more inward-looking than outward-looking, and I tend to overthink everything, including conversations I'm in. While I like people (including all the messy and silly stuff in our heads), it's more a distant appreciation than anything else. I'm also not that trusting, even of myself. That said, I still would love to meet someone to be mental and physical companionship for awhile, and if things go really well and there's mutual interest, I'd love to start a family. I keep hoping I'm not too old for that, and chiding myself for not having had many relationships (or even dates) in my life given how much I want that.
I'd like to think I'm a good teacher, not just in terms of a hat I put on so much as a life commitment to helping people deepen their knowledge of things and avoid easy and wrong understandings. Even when those would be more satisfying.
I'm unfortunately an annoyingly good spellchecker, typo-checker, and bughunter (in code). A misplaced apostrophe is to me like a splinter. But I still try to play with language a lot so as not to be too stuffy.
In the same grain, I often try to loosen people's beliefs on just about everything. And their definitions of words. Plus I'm fairly contrarian on many topics because excessive certainty really bothers me.
Murakami, Kundera, Ken Macleod, Rushdie. Marlen Haushofer's "Die Wand" was also fantastic.
Theory of Justice, (Neuroscience textbooks), Preconditions of Socialism, Plato's Republic, the Muqadimmah. They're not books, but I also spend a lot of time reading academic journals on select sciences and current events.
Vertigo, Le Dîner de Cons, Direktøren for det hele, Brazil, Naked Lunch, City of Lost Children, Detective Heart of America. And most things Jan Svankmajer has ever made.
QI, House of Cards (the original British one), MST3k, Yes Minister, ST:DS9, Last Week Tonight
Katzenjammer, Fiona Apple, Firewater, VNV Nation, Amsterdam Klezmer Band, Danny Elfman, Bad Religion, Vienna Teng, Paramore, Scott Joplin.
Avril Lavigne and the Veronicas are two guilty pleasures. I have an accordion and someday I hope to have a Piano and/or a String Bass again.
Paneer Makhani, Saag Paneer, Samosa, Fondue, Hummus, Red Curry Tofu, Avocado Rolls. I also like Veggie Burritos, and ..
I am a vegetarian, but only by taste. I don't care what you eat unless it smells awful and I need to be around it.
Jim Gaffigan, Sarah Silverman, Frankie Boyle, Iliza Schlesinger, Sasha Baron Cohen, Armstrong and Miller, Leslie Nielsen (movies)
Fallout's a lot of fun. I also like turn-based strategy games like Civ and MOO. Off the computer, I like Illuminati, Ubi, Munchkin, and a lot of the other recently-invented games.
Travel I try to do yearly
*DragonCon - Every September
*Camping or Hiking - I hope to fit a trip in every year
*Visit my sisters and my nephews (usually in Cleveland or Boston)
I'd like to travel a bit more often
If after knowing someone a bit I really want to get to know them, I'd probably unironically ask them a question like
* What are the ideas that most flavour your mental life?
* What is your creed?
* What are the things you struggle with the most?
I hope to have good answers to these kinds of questions too.
I'll judge you a little bit if you do yoga. It's great the people are getting some exercise and what people wear for it is sometimes pretty sexy, but yoga's a bit new-agey. And bikram yoga smells awful. Not a disqualifier, just something I'll poke a bit of fun at.
I live with two cats that are both about 15 years old. They don't act particularly old. They do the usual cat things, annoying and cool. I like to tickle their feet.
I'm pretty introverted. I don't make friends easily and I don't have any skill at flirting; there are generally gaps of years between my dating people. If I end up at a party I tend to mostly stand alone and watch people, unless I know some people at the party well. Unless there's dancing, because if I like the music I'll be alternating between high-energy not-touch-the-floor-much dancing, and resting from how exhausting that can be.
I write a lot about everything, in various places on the internet.
My family is racially, religiously, and politically mixed. My mum voted for Trump, my dad likely voted for Hillary. My politics and cultural views have their own consistency but don't fit either liberal or conservative (or libertarian) norms; they're mixed, and I'm outspoken on my views no matter where they sit on the spectrum. I think basically everybody's political philosophy makes sense if you grant them their foundations, and that it's hard to argue about what people's foundations should be. I get annoyed when people don't make the effort to understand political views very different than theirs, or paint their views as inevitable. But I also sometimes am on the other side of that for a bit - I'm not perfect. I think we should be able to understand even views we find really reprehensible and to try to be fair with them, without necessarily signing on to coexisting with them or approving of them. And of course there are plenty of views I think are just silly (or based on false premises) but I'd tolerate them for some suitable notion of tolerate specific to them.
My strongest political conviction is for freedom of speech, both as a legal norm and as a social one. I believe we should try, as much as is possible, to make differences in viewpoints and language and definitions consequenceless. Meaning I stand with Charlie Hebdo and Mad Magazine (my Grandma introduced me to it initially) and I think it's healthy that people are offended whether they're rich and powerful or downtrodden.
I believe in busting political taboos and bubbles, which gets me in trouble with most people who have strong political views. I sometimes read such diverse voices as Jezebel, National Review, Reason, and International Socialist Review. They're all crazy sometimes, insightful at other times. I've read Germaine Greer, Ayn Rand, Robert Nozick, and Andrea Dworkin, and think they're all interesting - would be happy to talk about their ideas whether and where I agree with them or not.
Chances are in intellectual discussions, you'll either find me refreshingly different and deep, or incredibly frustrating. I pay a lot of attention to different ways of defining things and how concepts line up (or don't) with terms, and I like to play with ideas and words.
I like my principles more than I like people, although I like people best when they don't make me choose.
What I want from a relationship:
Who is very intelligent and reasonably assertive
Whom I find attractive (in decent shape, not fat)
Fitting a few musts (atheist/agnostic, monogamous, you read things)
Who wants to spend a lot of time together
With lots of conversations
Who also wants to explore life together (science! philosophy! other ideas!)
And who appreciates absurd humour and silly puns
And someone who feels that gender is just about genetics and maybe body shape, not about hobbies (I knit) or roles in the workplace or who should lead in a relationship.
And let's get this out of the way too. I'm bisexual. I'm not into the non-straight subculture, and while I'm sexually about equally interested in guys and gals, I'm only romantically into gals. And I'm monogamous. So unless you want to read it as a sign that I'm open to some things in the bedroom that most guys might not be into (which is a fair assumption), or if you're really homophobic or want a very masculine guy (in which case we're probably not a good fit for other reasons), it really shouldn't impact us.
Like you I have a long list of silly-specific things beyond this that "would be nice" (that probably nobody I'll ever meet will match all of), but I really just want a great companion I can get along with and will grow to love, to build a life and maybe a family together.
I have this fantasy of growing old with someone and sitting on a porch on a rainy day watching the storm, heading out into the wet wind to dance with them as it pours down. Maybe that could be you.