32 Caledonia, United States
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My self-summary
I'm David and 100% real. No whisker fishing going on here. But what else makes me irresistible you might ask? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. I also can cook beyond frozen or microwavable food, can safely drive in snow, and most importantly don't take shirtless selfies in a mirror. My concern isn't girls thinking I am self-absorbed but believing I don't own shirts. I have a job that requires clothing so I'm typically shirted 95% of my adult life.

I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU and currently work at a methadone clinic. Being a social worker of course i make the big bucks...haha! But I do get paid well enough to not be living in poverty and enjoy my work. I attempt keeping active by walking and biking the Kent Trails along with swimming. I've lost over 35 lbs. the past few years but still don't look like Ryan Gosling with my clothes off...maybe if somebody is super drunk I might (but please don't try to prove this hypothesis. Hangovers kinda hurt). I like Artprize, sporting events, trying new breweries and restaurants, and anything outdoorsy like fishing or the beach. Pretty much put me around a body of water and I'm good. Luckily there are plenty of water spots in Michigan.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Easy, right? Well if only it took a few hours and befriending talking animals to meet someone special but being on here is hopefully a start. I'm just hoping to meet a really dynamite gal to enjoy this thing called life with. Somebody who has a sense of humor, or at least can appreciate mine, would be swell. If I find such a lady I might have to put a ring on her. Don't test me, I got rings galore...Ring Pops that is. I will even let you pick out the flavor.
What I’m doing with my life
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled.
I’m really good at
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? Exactly, you haven't. But since I was so awesome my skills have moved on to spiders. All I ask is you provide the Kleenex. I'll take care of the rest.
The first things people usually notice about me
Likely my butt, because people tend to stare. Course it might be because my wallet is there most of the time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I guess I can't fault anybody. After all it holds all my membership cards that can get me discounts at frozen yogurt and coffee shops.

People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections, Shit My Dad Says and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A History of Violence, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the Detroit Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many Michiganders), but I also like Family Guy, American Dad, Archer, Bojack Horseman, Breaking Bad, Rick and Morty and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I'm sure you could talk me into watching Nick at Nite re-runs too. I liked Mr. Ed and The Munsters.

Music: Classic rock and alternative. I like Metallica, Boston, Van Halen, Nirvana, Tool and Foo Fighters to name a few. If you ever wish to annoy me play pop music on the radio.

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. That thing called metabolism is starting to slow down.
The six things I could never do without
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become. But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome girl?
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. A bed, or anything to sleep on. I am getting older, the body doesn't have the internal stamina of a horse anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about? Does eating too many Twinkies really make you stupid? Is that why most people are idiots these days, because of over-consumption of yellow sponged cream cakes? You might laugh but somebody needs to seriously ponder these world altering thoughts.
On a typical Friday night I am
I am working the poles on weekends...just kidding. If I could contort and had a six pack like Magic Mike I wouldn't be single. I usually go out to eat or if the Griffins are playing I head to Van Andel to see grown men hit each other on the ice. Otherwise I cook something on the grill, and if you're lucky enough I'll make you some meat too. Course some veggie burgers sound good too if that's your thing. I'm flexible for whatever keeps a girl happy. What a guy, huh?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I shower naked. I don't find the experience refreshing or cleansing with clothes on (plus I like being naked, so gives you something to look forward to). Legend says when I was a baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also says it was probably a teddy bear. I am an old soul trapped in a young man's body, even though I'd prefer being a person stuck in the body of a T-Rex. Making my bed every morning could be a struggle though with my stubby arms.
You should message me if
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online match, right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect person, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good hugs so I wouldn't recommend blowing the opportunity.

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if I made you laugh so hard you spat liquid refreshment all over your screen, believe the only games to be playing with a significant other include words like Scrabble or Battleship, or anything else made me seem dreamy. After all whatever gets us interacting in the "real world" should be the ultimate goal. If everything looks fantastic lets go have a grand adventure or two. Or ten...that's the only numbers with girls I like being high.