At fifty-five, I find myself both looking back over where I've been and looking forward to where I'm going. I've done a lot, and I have a lot yet to do, but I find that in many ways I've lived much of my adult life backwards. I went straight from high school into the military and spent thirteen years serving (got out just before the first Gulf War); I married three times and divorced twice during that part of my life, and divorced for the third and final time about a year after I left the military. I spent ten years after that in a relationship I ultimately had to walk away from, but other than having stayed about three years too long, I don't regret it.
I now find, because of where I'm at vis-a-vis education and career, that there's a temporal disconnect between me and (many) people my age, who are my cultural contemporaries, and a cultural disconnect between me and my classmates, who are my intellectual contemporaries. In other words, I'm too old to be a trophy wife or to start a family (even if I wanted to, which I don't); I didn't raise kids of my own / have grandchildren to talk about; I grew up during the Cold War, not the War on Terror; but by the same token I will always and forever prefer Janis Joplin to Katy Perry, and Madonna to Lady Gaga. I'm old enough to have back problems that preclude me from walking very far without a walker (but I'm hell on wheels with one), and young enough to still want to stay up all night drinking beer, talking philosophy, and solving the problems of the world, as long as I don't have to get up and go anywhere the next day!
I'm potentially polyamorous if the situation is right, and definitely bisexual - I judge potential for relationships based on things other than whether one has an 'innie' or an 'outie', and I'm not a woman who prefers men and resorts to women when men are unavailable. Actually, I probably incline more toward women, even though I have had some really wonderful relationships with some really wonderful men that I wouldn't have traded or given up for anything.
I'd prefer to live in a strawbale house on some property, or a Hobbit-hole built into a hill, but I'm not sure how easy one of those would be to find (or build) with access to good public transportation; and, for the most part, I'm a function-over-form kind of gal although I certainly have no objection to spaces and other stuff that answer 'yes' to both of those questions. I'm a bibliophile, a tech addict, and can build and fix my own computers, and really, REALLY have a hard time telling myself to 'wait' when the next big techy thing comes along. I've (so far) managed to deprive myself of an iPad, but that's mostly because I have a smartphone and a Nook Color (with the N2A card 'hack'), which actually works better for me.
Who would I like to meet? Someone who is intellectually curious, has a healthy appreciation for logic, and cares enough about the world that hyacinths for the soul mean making the world a better place; someone whose kink is my kink (see below), but that's not all, or even a majority, of what they are. Someone who believes that function is more important than form and yet appreciates beauty when they find it. Someone who doesn't expect a partner to set aside their own life to accommodate them, and who has a life of their own and doesn't expect to define him/herself through or by a relationship. My life - given the fact that I go to school full time and work as close to full time as I can handle depending on my school workload - can be chaotic at best, but I really AM willing to make time for someone who's willing to make time for me. That's actually one of the things I miss about living in Jersey - dunno if it's an East Coast / West Coast cultural difference or what, but people here in AZ (at least a lot of the people I have met) don't seem to be willing to make the effort / go the extra mile to work around a not-so-normal schedule. Even before I went back to school, I worked nights and weekends and it would take more than both hands to count the number of people I met that weren't interested in dating because I didn't have evenings and weekends off.
Kids are ok - when I say I 'don't want kids', I mean that I don't want to MAKE any, which is probably pretty unlikely by now anyway. Lastly, anyone with an allergy to cats is probably going to have a hard time - I have three of them.
As my tagline says, from my original profile:
I am intellectual, a veteran, and owned by cats. :)
In part because of everything that's been happening economically and politically in the country (and perhaps particularly here in AZ), and in part because I got some bad academic advisement, I am discovering that it might be a long shot to get a teaching position without a Doctorate (even as an Adjunct), even though I know people in the Department where I would be applying. Grass is sprouting between the stones I thought I laid so carefully to mark my path, The path that I constructed so carefully is sprouting grass between the stones, and branches leading away from it have begin to appear with alarming regularity.
In some ways, the idea that my carefully constructed path may no longer lead to a place that actually exists, and the prospect of exploring a branch that leads into the unknown, is really scary. I've gone into debt as part of a long-term plan to get an education that now may or may not help me establish some kind of career that is more rewarding (both intellectually and financially) than the job I have; and while I'll likely never retire, it would be nice to spend less time with my nose to the grindstone and more time gathering hyacinths for the soul in some kind of productive, make-the-world-better sort of way.
On the other hand, the prospect of finishing my degree and being able to take it somewhere else, and do something I hadn't anticipated doing with it, is exciting. What shape that will take and where I will be, I don't know - but I find myself leaning more and more toward moving to Oregon, particularly around Gresham or Sandy (my dad and one of my sibs live in Gresham). I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, and I find that no matter how suited I thought I was to desert living, I miss the seasons and being within a couple of hours' drive of the ocean. I think I'd be happier intellectually (and ideologically/ politically) there as well.
Non: Plato, the Nag Hammadi Library, Charles Taylor, Elaine Pagels, Karen Armstrong, Thich Nhat Hahn, Zachariah Sitchin, Robert Hand, Liz Greene, Linda Goodman .......
Academic: Talal Asad, Bruno Latour, Michel Foucault, Saba Mahmood .......
movies? Anything from Action/Adventure (Armageddon / Color of Night / DieHard (maybe that should be anything w/Bruce Willis, LOL) to the LOTR franchise to the Matrix franchise to musicals like My Fair Lady to psychodramas like The Cell, Return to Paradise, or 8mm (or anything Vince Vaughn was in when he was still an actor / Joaquin Phoenix was in before he started mumbling). I don't have HBO but am currently working my way through Season One of Game of Thrones on Blu-Ray ..... I loved Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. I don't watch a lot of TV now, but I do enjoy Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS Los Angeles, and I LOVE Once Upon A Time.
music? depends on my mood. my go-to is probably 80s-early 90s rock - Queen, Metallica, Queensryche, Scorpions, etc ..... "comfort music" is mostly from my childhood and teenage years in the 60s and 70s like the Mamas and the Papas, Peter, Paul & Mary, Blood, Sweat & Tears, and Janis Ian - but Triumph, the Beatles, and Led Zeppelin as well. I don't care for pop, but I do like some of the new rock/metal out like Danko Jones and Five-Finger Death Punch. I like country that isn't too sentimental (think late 90s "new country" pre-9/11) - basically, I'll listen to just about anything - I even like some rap / hip hop, although that's what I'm least likely to CHOOSE to listen to. I also like Celtic / folk music but generally when I'm just hanging out - it's too relaxing to listen to and try to get anything done!
food? my own cooking, my roomie's cooking, my mom's cooking - sushi, fish, shellfish, steak, ethnic, I love food. I just wish it didn't like me quite so much! I don't like canned peaches or cauliflower.
- access to a library / books
- my family - born and chosen
- my cats
not necessarily in that order!