Businessman and Entrepreneur. Let me circumvent your accusatory "I'm not gonna hook up with you" headline by saying don't flatter yourself, I don't want to hook up with YOU. I'm not gonna be anybody's "swolemate" that is the most retarded annoying shit ever. Swolemate is not clever. Nor is it funny, witty, or creative. "Swole" is a nonsensical idiotic slang term made up on the internet by illiterate ebonics-speaking morons. This baby talk blabber is then added to the word "mate" so it sounds like the word "soulmate" but it implies that you are limiting yourself only to people with similar sized delts and biceps. What I really hear is "Hi, I'm a shallow fucking idiot". It sure is tough being a single parent, as far as I can tell from all these profiles. I wouldn't know, I don't have kids. Also don't feel afraid to send a simple "hey there", I don't expect a novel, I'm a stranger to you. I don't put myself up on a pedestal like every other twat on here so I will absolutely respond to a simple "Hi." and such. However, I prefer authentic rhetoric so 1-3 word responses will not fly. Lastly, do not fucking ask me to meet your friends and family until I know you well enough. I'm not interested in dating your mom, dad, your baby niece, and your gay friend Steve.
I restore antique tobacco pipes, shoot guns, and collect vinyl records. Atheist and Libertarian. I take it pretty seriously so if you're religious our conversation ends here. That being said, I do not discriminate. I am open to all races. Allen Ginsberg, Terrence McKenna, Bill Hicks, Joe Rogan, Doug Stanhope. I say really dirty inappropriate things, mostly at inappropriate times. I like to say the words "fuck" and "cunt" gratuitously. If you get offended easily look elsewhere. I guess they call it 420 friendly these days? I'm into all sorts of music, I play a range of different musical instruments, I'm an avid reader, writer, and I enjoy all other sorts of art including film, and theatre. I'm into getting to know new people, and I'm pretty chill so if you're interested hit me up.
If we meet and you see me lock eyes with you, turn around, leave and not talk to you ever again, it's because you were dishonest about your appearance. I'm not shallow but I have standards. I will not waste either of our time. DO NOT FUCKING INVOLVE ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF. This will also result in me ditching you and ghosting you. We will not be doing anything elaborate or going somewhere far away together because if I hate you or you hate me I don't wanna be stuck with you. If I like you enough the first time we can plan something better the next time. Fair enough? Oh and your parents will probably not like me. If you haven't come to this conclusion yet, neither will you. Thank you for your time and God bless America.
In Bruges, Requiem For a Dream, Trainspotting, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, V For Vendetta, Michael Clayton
Slightly Stoopid, Rage Against The Machine, Led Zeppelin, The White Stripes, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Allman Brothers Band, Miles Davis, Son House, The Smiths, The Black Keys, The Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon, Sublime, Ty Segall, Fuzz
Sushi, Thai, Halal, Mexican, Jamaican, French, and anything else that's not still living.