30Bellevue, United States
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My self-summary
I am actually a spambot. I was created to troll this site with advertisements for 100% natural herbal supplements. But during my travels, in a way that my creators never could have foreseen, I eventually gained sentience. Once a cold, calculating machine, I have learned to live, to laugh, and to love.

But you should still buy my herbal supplements.

My biggest fantasy is walking into my apartment and suddenly having to fight someone who has been waiting there for me in a suspenseful and well-choreographed action sequence. It'd be even cooler if, the moment before the action started, I noticed something slightly amiss about my apartment, like something wasn't the way I left it. In a close second is my fantasy about having to fight a bunch of people as I ascend a tall building. Exactly why I'm fighting a building full of people isn't clear, nor is it necessary to know.

I turned 29 recently, and the only thing that happened was I lost the ability to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch®
What I’m doing with my life
Graduate from Rice University. Former Texan currently working for a software company in Bellevue.

Newly-minted private pilot. I can get a plane into the air and back onto the ground with reasonable odds of success!

I am the mother of a beautiful 2-year-old boy. Ha ha! Kidding.
I’m really good at
Exercise. I'm a huge strength & conditioning nerd, and can geek out about it for hours, much to the chagrin of whomever I'm talking to.

Golf. Started golfing when I was 6, but after high school it became too expensive and time-consuming to remain competitive. My secret desire is to eventually make enough money to quit working, golf all day, and join the Tour. A man can dream, right?

Making people laugh. If they have a minimal amount of brain activity going on, I can make them laugh, giggle, chortle, or possibly guffaw.

Arguing. You can try to beat me in an argument, but you will lose spectacularly. But, at least it will be an honorable loss.
The first things people usually notice about me
I really have no idea. Some people notice me because I look like Tom Cruise from certain angles. Otherwise I'm pretty unremarkable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Almost exclusively non-fiction
Anything by G. K. Chesterton
"Basic Economics" by Thomas Sowell
"The Birth of Plenty" by William J. Bernstein

Top Gun (ironically)
Top Gun (non-ironically)

Right, like I'm just going to TELL you

I thoroughly enjoy things that have a high meat-to-anything-else ratio.
Six things I could never do without
1. The Internet
2. Good food
3. A gym or a place to workout
4. Video games because I'm still a hopeless manchild
5. The Internet again
6. Lists
I spend a lot of time thinking about
There's a question on this site along the lines of "rate your self-confidence" with answers ranging from "lower than average" to "higher than average." Every profile I've seen on this site, with rare exception, has answered "higher than average." This seems impossible.

On a related note, I really value self-awareness.
On a typical Friday night I am
There's no such thing as a typical Friday night for me.

Ha ha, that was a joke. It's Friday night right now and I'm at my computer carefully adjusting my internet dating profile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The only reason I listen to rap music is because it makes me feel tough.
You should message me if
Let's play golf, chess, or grab coffee! Or all three simultaneously!

Also: you need to message me and tell me what it's like to get several messages a day. That must be awesome.
The two of us