25Vallejo, United States
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My self-summary
I'm new here, teach me your ways!

Update: No longer new here, but that line is staying because I do what I want.

K, some fun facts about Danyanimal:

I'm an extremely vindictive driver. Don't fux wif me.
I am actively trying to get fatter (sorta) to be able to lift heavier stuff.
Apparently it took my friend 3 years to determine whether or not I'm joking.
Grammatical errors make me mad.
I guess there'll be more to come whenever I feel like it.

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son. I've got 99 problems and they're all crippling loneliness.
What I’m doing with my life
Gave up on my hopes and dreams long ago. Now I sell crack rocks exclusively to children.

In five years I'm going to open a rehab clinic catered to my former clientele called "Kick Rocks".

Update: Crack stock plummeted, all the kids are doing Adderall now. So I had to switch careers to maritime work.
I’m really good at
Making online dating profiles.

Dancing like a girl. My hips don't lie.
The first things people usually notice about me
My beard or my big ass.

Edit: In maritime academy. Short hair, no beard. I'm very upset. Will post pics of said abomination shortly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A Song of Ice and Fire series. Stephen King is my jam. Talk to me about cool books and I'll be really stoked. Currently reading the Dark Tower series.

All the generic movies that people like, I like.

I also have an inexplicable hatred for the movie "Groundhog Day". There's a reason for this, it's just not a good one.

Game of thrones, Scrubs, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, and other stuff like that.
Six things I could never do without
In n Out
Squat rack
The Ocean
Apparently my cats. Which is weird because they're total assholes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Pistachio nuts.

How many pomeranian dogs I could fight off at once. I bet I could handle like, 25 of those fuckers at once.

APA formatting.
On a typical Friday night I am
On Fridays I tend to invite people over to watch bad movies so we can drink beer and laugh about how bad the movie is.

But that's only sometimes. All other nights I cry myself to sleep.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like to wander my apartment naked. I think my neighbors have a problem with that...

Update - no longer live in an apartment. Now my roommates have to deal with my nudity.

DUBBLE UPDATE - Living at home for summer. My mom calls me fat.

I do this thing where I internally mock people's voices or the way in which they laugh. Only sometimes I accidentally forget to do it internally and then I get weird looks.
You should message me if
You're okay with sarcasm and you can take a joke.

If you know the difference between "you're" and "your"; if not, your probably just not right for me.

Girls that like horses too much scare me.

You're okay with the fact that most of my pictures involve fish I've killed. If it's any consolation, I make killer sushi.

I swear to god if I see the word "sapiosexual" one more fucking time...
The two of us