SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #1: Hold doors open for your date, pull the chair out for your date, burp your date, change your date oh god you are on a date with a baby ok stay cool.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #2: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #3: Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this isn't right, let me try again.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #4: Pretend to yawn. Put your arm around her. Uh oh, now you're yawning for real. Maybe just rest your eyes. Take a quick nap.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #5: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.
You are now ready to enter the dating world!
HI I'M SHAYNE, and I'm a PROFESSIONAL VELOCIRAPTOR TRAINER.
...Kidding, I'm just some sort of artist, not something awesome like a velociraptor trainer. WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH ALL THE SHITTY JOBS. Actually, being an artist gets you used to the rejection of your brilliance, so it's perfect practice for dating.
I spend a majority of my time sitting at the computer breathing life into pixels on the screen. I SIT ON MY ASS ALL DAY AND CLICK ON THINGS UNTIL THEY LOOK COOL. You've probably seen my work on TV.
Or maybe you haven't. Call the cops I don't even care.
I own this business. It's a pretty successful medical animation studio. I help teach doctors new surgical procedures and new instrumentation procedures using 3D animation. It's a totally unique niche and I love it. I also freelance for different companies doing media animation; right now I work on Samsung, Apple, and Chase Bank projects. It's pretty sweet.
I didn't even go to college for any of this crap. Suck it Trebek.
My mom says I'm a genius. So does the Mensa group but who cares about them. Thanks mom.
I've been told I have a really great smile. (Braces for SEVEN years, haha).
I don't really read books. In fact, I don't think I've ever finished an entire book in my lifetime.
I read massive amounts online, however. I actually probably read more on the internet per day than most avid book-readers do in a week...and it's not spent reading the captions on funny cat pictures. (Okay maybe a minor portion of it)
Legend, Fern Gully, Life of Pi, The Fifth Element, Inception, Powder.
I don't watch TV at all. I haven't in about 10 years, but whenever there's an ultra-hyped show that everyone says is amazing I'll usually download it.
The xx, Ed Sheeran, Disney music, Ellie Goulding, Alex Clare, Christina Perri (I know her irl!), Daft Punk, The Glitch Mob, One Republic, Walk Off the Earth, RHCP, Noisia, The Cataracs, Katy Perry, Blackmill, Knife Party, Sara Bareilles, Breathe Carolina, Tove Lo, Excision, The Crystal Method. Also really love classical music (Vitamin String Quartet anyone?).
I work across the street from Pier 39 right now, where there's a vast array of amazing different foods and yet I still walk over a mile to Chipotle almost every day. I really like Chipotle dammit.
It's burrito o'clock somewhere.
The interwebternets - Without this I would be a broke mofo.
Creativity - I'm an artist, this is my life-force. It drives everything I do.
Coffee - I just bought some Black Blood of the Earth and it's amazing. IT HAS 40X MORE CAFFEINE THAN NORMAL COFFEE. I CAN SEE SOUNDS.
Knowledge - I'm kind of an information sponge, and really enjoy learning new things.
Travel - I want to see the entire world, all of it. Message me with amazing places you've been to.
Debunking conspiracy theories with science. (It's kind of a hobby of mine; weird)
What new places I should go to this weekend.
Who is coming with me to said new place this weekend. (Hint: It should be you)
Drones. (I have one. It's pretty rad)
Fonts. (I'm a Fontophile. There is nothing sexier than good use of fonts)
Ya' know, the usual.
I also do trampoline gymnastics.
You want to laugh your pants off.
You want to go skydiving with me.
You like SCIENCE.
You actually want an awesome friend who is totally down for pretty much anything at any given moment.
Extra super thumbs up brownie points if you message me first. I'm only on here so often so the volume of messages I end up sending is a bit on the low end.