34Rockville, United States
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My self-summary
Whilst taking in a beautiful day by the Jardin du Luxembourg, I notice a group of Parisian boys, no older than ten years old, playing soccer in the distance. As I sipped my coffee and gazed upon my phone for my next destination, a tiny soccer ball rolled to a stop no more than two feet away from me. "Monsieur," one of the boys called out, followed by some French gibberish that I surmised to mean "some help please." The fresh, innocent expressions on their cherubic faces urging me to get up and pass them their tiny ball. With minimal hesitation, I stood and positioned myself to kick their ball to the boy closest to me, about 30 feet away, as he waved his hands happily in anticipation. I took a step forward and completely misjudging the weight of this diminutive ball, DESTROYED it. The boys watched in horror as the ball sailed over their heads and out of their lives. Some cried out in anguish, others could only stare with their mouths agape, all of their eyes screaming "WHAT THE F*CK MAN." It was in this moment, with tears welling in my eyes, that I knew my dreams of becoming a professional soccer player had died.

I'm witty, honest, loyal, and chivalrous. However, I'm crass (I curse often), am horrendously awkward holding babies, and as the above story indicates, should never be allowed to play soccer with children. If you must know, I am gainfully employed and required to wear a suit more often than I would like.

When the day is over, I usually like to slip into some short shorts and am kicking Thai pads or wrestling dudes stronger than me at the gym. I am a classically trained brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner and pianist and put in a good faith effort to maintain both skill sets. Depending on the day, I will go to one of the Smithsonian's and look at art I don't understand. I believe in karma, recycling, and petting dogs until they are annoyed.
What I’m doing with my life
see above
I’m really good at
Sean Connery impressions, pon di river, photography, trying to play the piano, and writing haikus
The first things people usually notice about me
my low, resonant voice or my slightly cauliflowered ears...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
-The Sun Also Rises, The Old Man and the Sea, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Great Gatsby
-Legends of the Fall, The Lion King, The Princess Bride, The Other Guys, About Time
-The Wire, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Seinfeld, Modern Family
-Frank Sinatra, Tribe Called Quest, Lauryn Hill, Nas, Yiruma, Ludovico Einaudi, John Coltrane, 90's R&B and hiphop, ignorant rap
-Indian, Thai, other spicy ethnic fare...
Six things I could never do without
bluetooth earphones, camera, polarized sunglasses, tiny desk concerts, chapstick, black coffee
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to be better; how humans are the worst; racial inequality; the environment; cryptozoology; do all dogs really go to heaven
On a typical Friday night I am
see above
You should message me if
- you don't use the term "sapiosexual"
- you LOVE dogs...and animals in general
- you recycle
- you enjoy shitty jokes
- you peruse urban dictionary or rap genius for no reason
- you believe in reverse yelping to prevent your favorite restaurants from being overcrowded...(don't judge me)
The two of us