I hate statements along the lines of, "I work hard and I play hard." (WTF does that *mean* anyway?) There'll be none of that here.
You may see sarcasm. Actually, you'll likely see a lot of sarcasm. And irony. I'd make a comment about how it raining on your wedding day is *not* irony, but the you might think that I actually listen to that sort of top 40 psuedo-alternative crap that equates rain on your wedding day to irony and I don't. It's old-school goth-punk (And maybe some 80s pop and New Wave.) all the way.
You'll also see me capitalizing "And", as well as using it to start sentences, even though I know better. This is known as "artistic license" which is allowable since I know that it's incorrect. (But wouldn't be if I didn't realize that it was incorrect because then it wouldn't be "artistic license" but just me being a an idiot who couldn't format a proper sentence. And nobody likes that.)
Okay, where was I? Sarcasm, irony...and humor. Right.
Generally, I prefer my humor black, sarcastic, cynical, dry, etc. Keeping that in mind is very important. If you don't do dark humor, you'll probably think I'm just a mean no-goodnic, and probably shouldn't bother messaging me.
Another couple of reasons why you *wouldn't* want to message me:
1. If you don't like cats. I love my cats, I think the world of them, I spoil them rotten and if any of that's a problem for you, that's a good reason not to get to know me.
2. If black and pale isn't a fashion concept to which you can relate. My connection to the goth scene is pretty far in the past, but I still don't "do" deliberate tanning. (Mostly because I don't want to "do" melanoma later on, but also because I don't want to look like a big, scary, dried out Muppet sewn out of leather by the time I'm 40.) That's not to say that I don't do nature or daylight, I do, just so long as we're talking SPF 50 and sunglasses for dealing with it. Oh, and I also wear really a lot of black, and that's not likely to change.
3. If you don't enjoy reading, really, *really* a lot. A lukewarm interest in reading, or an occasional reading of the best sellers is probably not going to cut it. I pretty much need someone who has to remind themselves while book shopping that they need to save at least *part* of their check for food and rent.
3. If you read other stuff, but seriously look down your nose at Science Fiction. See, I *write* Science Fiction, so that just wouldn't work out all that well.
4. Children. I'm childfree. When I was starting to write this I was trying to figure out if there was some way to rework _Green Eggs and Ham_ so that it would be about children, but then I realized that the main character ended up *liking* green eggs and ham, and there really aren't any circumstances under which I'm going to change my mind about children. (Mine *or* anyone else's, for those who aren't clear on the concept.) Anyway, if I had kids, they might lose some of my Legos and I swore an oath when I was eight that never again would another kid play with my Legos.
5. If you're religious or Republican or voted for George Bush or follow Ayn Rand or listen to country and western or are anti-choice or any of that stuff. My "Evil Black Sense of Humor" (tm) turns on these subjects and gives them a serious roasting far too often for me to get along well with anyone who takes those things seriously.
Okay, at the moment, I can't think of anything else. No doubt I soon will, but I probably won't be putting any of it here. For that, you'll have to talk to me instead.
PS - Despite the pictures that are up, I do in fact have eyes - they're hazel, and the sunglasses actually do come off, and rather frequently too. Also, I now have hair again, and in fact, really need to go and get a haircut. Okay, everybody happy now? Fine.
I am thoughtful, unconventional, and sentimental
I'm a partner in a small but so far successful art business, I'm writing, and I'm recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. In other words, I'm living it.
(Did I just say, "..I'm living it"? that's almost as bad as that "Work hard, Play hard" thing. Forget that I said that, okay?)
MOVIES: Better Off Dead, Grosse Pointe Blank, Heathers, Near Dark, The Lost Boys, Office Space, The Hudsucker Proxy, Aliens, The Shining, and lots of John Hughes movies, because again it's too hard to pick just one.
FOOD: Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, freshly baked bread, mint chip ice cream, good, non-yuppyized Italian food.
And, the unfairly excluded TELEVISION: My favorites are Futurama, Family Guy, Stargate SG-1, Invader Zim, Mythbusters, Justice League, Battlestar Galactica, (The new one only please.) The Simpsons, The Venture Brothers., That 70's Show and other stuff that's generally either canceled or a cartoon or both.
(Also, I'll confess that I will watch pablum like Friends when I'm really tired and can't cope with anything that requires me to use my brain.)