36Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Sorry, I'm off the market for the moment. Thanks for looking .🐙

I'm in a slow and constant state of change. In any month, I change only a little, but it adds up into a pressing force that leaves me almost unrecognizable after two or three years. I enjoy making things. That might include cooking meals, carpentry, designing boardgames, or tinkering with computers. I like hiking and try to whenever I get a chance. I also enjoy non-competitive athletics like rock climbing, yoga and running, and I'm a bit of a gym rat. After a lot of involvement I'm drifting away from burning man; last year was my sixth as a BRC Ranger, and I'm not planning to attend again. I'm also a big geek and love to play and design tabletop RPGs and boardgames.

In relationships I try hard to be GGG, and like to think that I do pretty well with it. I'm good at giving unconditional support, and helping partners push themselves or find themselves in their life. I'm not nearly as kinky as most of the people I'm attracted to, but am more than happy to do some service-topping.

I lean more to the calm and sensual side of life than the bacchanalian. going out dancing is fabulous, but I'm even more interested in cuddling after. These day's I prefer ecstatic dance to the club scene.
What I’m doing with my life
I recently left my job of 4 years at a poverty relief non-profit ( and am in a transition state, searching for the next thing that excites me the same way. Some of my very recent adventures have included a 10 day silent meditation retreat, and a month sailing on a square rigged tall-ship.

For the last year I have devoted a lot of energy to spirituality. It's been strange and powerful, and changed a lot of how I see the world. My current views on the matter fall somewhere between new-age and thelemic.

Over the last 3 years I have been bitten by the travel bug, Some of my recent adventures include helping a non-profit in rural Indonesia with computer issues, biking across Zambia as part of an AIDS fundraiser, and spending 2 months living abroad in Buenos Aries.

I'm also a board member on a non-partisan political non-profit that is dedicated to reducing police over-reach and creating accountability for surveillance.

I love to read, to listen to audiobooks, and to think. A month where I don't finish at least two books is a strange one and 4 is closer to the norm. I constantly recommend books as part of any conversation.
I’m really good at
Making close, diverse, and interesting friends. More than anything else, I notice that wherever I go, whatever I do I seem to find the most fascinating people.

I'm also good at deciding what's important and what I can let slide.

Being willing to disagree with a group. Sometimes It's because I'm wrong, but sometimes it's because I'm a little less prone to group-think and I have a really good point. Part of this may also be because I'm half-in and half-out of so many groups.

More generically, I'm a problem solver, I'm really good at turning any issue into a definable set of tasks and then plowing through them. As it turns out this is often not what people actually want or need.
The first things people usually notice about me
I tend to be wearing what I called "norm-o-flage", so visually I have no idea. Socially I think a lot of people notice my frankness, and tendency to be wacky/silly/fun.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Finite and Infinite Games is a slim little philosophy book that completely and permanently changed my outlook on life. It is for me what the tao-te-ching is for a taoist

My fiction books are "A Deepness in the Sky" by Vernor Vinge, which is about human nature, slavery, and spiders from outer space, in roughly that order, "Stranger in a Strange Land," which taught me to question every assumption that our society makes and set me on the path of polyamory, and "Ancillary Justice" which is about identity, dedication and space-ships.

In nonfiction I have been deeply shaped by "The Black Swan", and "Debt: the first 5000 years".

More relevant to knowing me than my movie picks, my favorite websites are,, and the every amusing (NSFW)

My favorite movie is "Cloud Atlas", which feels spiritually revealing for me. I also love "The Shawshank Redemption," which manages to capture me every time I see it and "Fight Club", which somehow manages to have a new detail with each viewing.

Musically I have wide tastes though lately I have been focusing on a genera that doesn't seem to have a name. Some of the bands in it are Ratatat, Bond, Juno Reactor, Pogo, Bonobo and Beats Antique. I have also become obsessed with the song sleepyhead by passion pit. I actively dislike pure dubstep (I.E. Skrillex, though I'm impressed by him) but love a lot of music that borrows from the genera (I.E. deadmou5, glitchmob)

Most of my favorite foods are ones that I prepare on my own. I'm a good cook, and I tend to focus on fresh produce since it's so good on the West Coast (and I'm always fighting to keep up with my CSA). When I eat out, I like to get good sushi, thai, or a mission burrito though I'm up for anything pescetarian.
Six things I could never do without
My friends -Nothing is more important to me than my people,
Transportation -In Manhattan it was an MTA card, in LA it was a motorcycle, in SF it seems to be a bike.
Touching / Cuddling / Sex -Closeness is important to me.
Wholesome Food -Nothing makes me happier than a really good meal.
Exercise - It keeps me stable, and keeps me sane.
Sunlight - Once I was a night person, now I love the sun.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Economics, Spirituality and Anthropology . I enjoy trying to figure out how the world works, and it seems like economics, and the myths that dictate our behaviors are the key to figuring out what makes the gears turn.

How to do something, anything, to make this world a better place.

Fitness and Posture. For the last few years I have become a little bit obsessed with tweaking my body, and learning how to stay strong, healthy, and vibrant.

RPGs. Specifically the pencil and paper kind. I'm a pretty big dork and this is one of the places it shows. I keep in touch with old friends by gaming with them over skype, and have even written my own games.
On a typical Friday night I am
It could be any of a million things. Hopefully either with close friends, or out on date with you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm terrified of turning into my parents. Who I love dearly, but don't want to be.
You should message me if
If you are polyamorus and looking for a serious partner, one with whom you might want to have kids.

If you want someone for casual cuddles

You have a sparkle in your eye, and a relentless curiosity about the world.

You like some level of physicality in your life, you enjoy having a body and take care of it.

You want to talk about philosophy, or teach me to do some crazy circus stuff, or play some boardgames.
The two of us