I HAD a Journal "Once, children, when we all lived in the forest and no one lived anywhere else, we ALL had journals." Now they are all gone, and we are sad.
I have experienced more change and adaptation in the last half decade than the whole rest of my life. I have to say, it seems to be working out. So am I. I once wore my heart on my sleeve. Now I find it more convenient to simply staple it to my bare skin and let the tiny rivulet of blood form a rakish scar. :-)
It is clearly time for me to spend some time re-vamping this whole profile. But it is a shiny Friday evening in the summer and I am still at work. One of these things has to change. Stay tuned.
I recently realized: I am entirely bowled over by a woman wearing glasses. I don't think I ever really realized it before... and ironically, this realization comes as I finally accept that, as much as I do love my geeky tortoise-shelled rims, I look (and see) better without them. Hah.
So it is time for me to reinvent this story again... maybe with some old pieces, maybe with some new. Some are codged from ancient places, some from last night's blog, but they are all me. The most I can hope is that, while this story, like all stories, is certainly not all of my making, it will be my telling that makes it true about me. It is all more true than factual. So, where to begin...?
the "Roget's" Me:
Di-a-lec-tric: n.,hirsute, astute, bald, compassionate, exploratory, cuddlesome, sensuous, lugubrious, garrulous, stentorian, velociphilic, McGyverrific, aesthete, culinary, gourmand, craftsman, cyclist, squid, kneedragger, artist, seeker, lover, "Vagabond Gypsy Savage."
I am Mobile, Watch the Police, and the Tax Man miss me.
1) I think too much
2) I cook well.
3) I fix things.
4) I design things.
5) I describe things.
6) I try to be a force for love in the lives of the people I know.
7) I try to get to know as many people as I can.
8) I make an AWEsome crab cake.
9) I like hats.
10) I care for a small dog who pretends I own him. (It's good for my ego and his tummy)
Coming to these after some time, I have some edits. 1) There may be no such thing as thinking too much. But in any case, it beats hell out of the opposite, a state running rampant through our land.
6) Screw the "force for love" stuff. I love who I love, and I'm awesome at it.
7) It may be that there IS such a thing as knowing too many people, and I am researching a metric to determine this.
10) is no longer true.
R.I.P. Wicket the Emergency Attack Shih-Tzu. I still miss you.
I like this better than: "am making a bunch of things better for a bunch of people, about whom I don't care enough. (This is what I call Work) I am spending too little time with a lot of people who mean the world to me. (This is what I call Life.) I am trying to imagine the universe in which these two trends are reversed, and bring it to fruition." even though it is still (and, I realize, in some way probably always will be) true. I am getting rid of stuff - anybody want some stuff? - I have a ton of cool stuff, going cheap. From antiques to electronics to books to random motorcycle parts. It has been suggested that, although I certainly don't define myself through my career (yeah, anymore! Hey, shut up!!!) people seem to think that what I do is pretty cool and says a lot about me.... SO: By profession, I design scenery and lighting for the theatre, occasional opera, and industrial events. By day I manage the facility of a cultural center where my main focus is still managing and running (and renting) the theatre facility. I free-lance in production management and consult on space deisgn, and have been known to put pen to paper for everything from high-end Arts and Crafts bookshelf built-ins to miniature golf hazards in the form of famous Israeli landmarks. My current side projects are: the house I will someday live in, a replica (3/4 scale) of an Irish round house that can break down to be carried in a van (yes, for Pennsic, but for so much else...), and choosing colors to finally, after ten years, paint my house's interior. The plus side of all this: I get a lot of free-tickets to events and concerts, and I am a pretty creative type. The down side: I often have to put in a weekend or evening working, and... I am a pretty creative type. Draw your own conclusions ;-)
So I took a poll:
1) Giving better than I get.
2) Learning on the fly.
3) Thinking outside the box (but I HATE that phrase...)
4) Kissing (pretty unanimous; I think the art of making out is highly under-rated...
5) Bouncing back.
6) Random witticisms/snark (I threw these two together, but they came up separately for more than one interviewee.)
1) Riding a motorcycle. Fast. (and I am getting better at it.Soon it will be, "racing a motorcycle.")
2) Listening to you.
3) Loving the people I love.
4) Turning any destination into the best idea ever. (No matter how lost we are.)
5) Spatial Analysis. (Which, I think, leads to: Fixing Things. I can repair or improve almost anything, especially if it has a manual. I can improve that, too.)
7) Longing ;-)
8) Leading an unruly but well-meaning mob. (This is a surprisingly absent and valuable trait in not-for-profit management.)
10) I am NOT really good at this, but I am so much better at it than I once was it is a point of pride: Surrender. For me this means so many things - choosing being happy over being right; forgiving even intentional slights, looking for the best in people who have forgotten it is in them, letting the universe pick my path and being a little less disappointed if we disagree.. letting go of things, and even a little, letting go of people. "Hold on loosely" means so much more to me now that I have lost some things and people by holding them too tightly.
I am NOT really good at:
1) Hiding my analytical nature from my intuitive nature.
2) Pretending not to stare at that beautiful woman over there. Come ON, she's gorgeous - you should be staring too.
3) Repetitious tasks. Tedium. Even, sometimes, follow-through. I often need a swift kick in the tuchus.
4) Wrapping packages. I simply do not understand this. I can make an Italian villa out of pool noodles and cardboard boxes. But give me a book to wrap... suffice it to say, everyone can spot my packages.
5) Forgetting. I forgive, perhaps almost too easily. But I don't forget - I remember what you said to me that day in 4th grade,....so don't be all "wanna share my Kool-Aid?" with ME, Sister.
6) Captalism. I am fine with the making of money - even pretty solidly lower middle class, I suppose, but I need someone to protect me from giving it all to that nice man with the harmonica. It's OK if you are a little ruthless with cash - because come the Zombies, our friends will be glad they know us.
A Child's Garden of Verses, The Little Engine That Could, Ferdinand, The Cricket in Times Square, The Wind in the Willows, Bullfinch's Mythology, A Wrinkle in Time, The Mad Scientist's Club, Treasure Island, Rabbit Hill, Watership Down, Tolkien (yes, ALL of it) C.S. Lewis, (a LOT of it) the Left hand of Darkness, The New Departures Ball Bearing Handbook, The Encyclopedia Brittanica, (NOT all of it) The Yearling, Beowulf, Shakespeare, The Once and Future King, Franny and Zooey (how could I have forgotten THAT), Yeats, Heaney, Godel, Escher and Bach, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Siddhartha, A Winter's Tale, (by Helprin, NOT Shakespeare) The Elegant Universe, Quantum Evolution, Longitude, Eco, in his entirety, although "..Queen Loana" got a little self-indulgent... The House of Leaves, Poe, Dave Eggers, Foster Wallace (r.i.p.) ... there are more, of course, and I am just talking about desert island books. But this gives you a sense. Currently: Godel, Escher, etc... AGAIN, Collapse, Moby Dick (recently) The Butterfly and the Diving Bell, Mating in Captivity, A Twist of the Wrist II, The Pillars of the Earth, The Essays of John Cheever, RECENT UPDATE: kebemik's profile - three thumbs up/i> ;
Music - STILL: just shouldn't suck. I like less twangy country and rap than some other genres, but like some of those quite alot, so there are no rules. LOVE angst-y solo female vocal acts. I would date the entire Lilith Fair if I could. But really, Arvo Part to Frank Zappa. UPDATE: I am intrigued by an experiemnt another user did - set the iPod to shuffle and see what comes up: Jethro Tull - Flying Colors; Moody Blues - The Day Begins; George Winston - Sandman; We're About 9 - Miscreant Men; Kate and Anna McGarrigle - Heartbeats Accelerating; Talking Heads - What a Day That Was; Cathie Ryan - You and I in the One Bed Lie; Patricia Barber - Nardis; Al Pettiway and Amy White - Midnight Ride; Laurie Anderson - Baby Doll; Suzanne Vega - Fat Man and Dancing Girl; then Pink Floyd, then The Who, then Cathie Ryan again, then Suzanne Vega again, then Fugazi, Joan Jett, Cowboy Junkies, and the Chicago Symphony Orchestra... you get the idea.
Movies... Varied. Really varied. I have never seen a Shakespeare movie I didn't at least like, although Michelle Pfeiffer should NOT speak in iambs. I have never seen a film (or stage, for that matter) version of Dracula that I could sit through, at least not without the help of Crow and Tom Servo. Recently really enjoyed: Frozen River, Away from Her, Once, Watchmen, ... Stardust on DVD.
TV - HBO addict, still on step two in recovery. Studio Sixty still may have been the best thing I have seen on TV, but I don't watch TV anymore, so it doesn't really matter, and HuLu is just fine for now. I miss HBO and IFC, but not the sinking feeling that i could have doen something better with the time or the oney I spent on having cable.
Food - I wish the "details" area would let me choose "mostly pescatarian." This is the most accurate description of how I try to live and eat. I don't have any issues with eating meat - but I have some serious issues with the meat industry. However, I still make my own irish sausage and bacon, for special occasions. I love Indian and almost all seafood. Love real pub grub, and am especially weak-kneed in the presence of REAL fish n' chips. Also Coquille St. Jaques. Go figure. Seafood, spicy, sichuan, pho, GOOD simple, rustic Italian. Irish brown soda bread and Guinness could keep me going til the rapture, if need be. Especially if you threw in some really good smoked salmon (which I tend to refer to as lox whether it is or no, because I work at a JCC. Almost anything on a grill.
1) Love/Quality/Divine and people (and animals) to share it with
2) Two-wheeled things...
3) My Health
4) My Mac-tastic nexus of interdependence (It all fits in a briefcase, but includes: my MacBook, my iPhone, my iPad, outboard storage, Web access, and a solar charging station, etc....
6) There. I am leaving myself a spare, for emergencies.
Love. What that means to different people in different places in their lives.
Indian or Lebanese? Does all this trying to "make a difference" ACTUALLY make a difference?
I am a hopeful, if increasingly pragmatic, romantic. Despite my
almost total caesura with the organized religion of my youth, I
still see the wonder of Go/o/d in everything around me.
I will perform any number of unnatural acts for a healthy serving of RhubarbApplePie's Curried Lentils.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart...