37Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
diningtable is charming, polite, determined, and very stubborn. He is very protective over his date and puts her safety, humanity and welfare before anything else. He often over-analyzes situations and has a tendency to overreact, especially in situations where his date's safety is at risk. He retains some outdated speech from his human life in the early 20th century. diningtable sees himself as a monster, and desperately wishes that he were human instead of a vampire.

diningtable possesses superhuman strength, speed, endurance, and agility, and is inhumanly beautiful. His scent and voice are enormously seductive, so much so that he occasionally sends women into a pliant daze entirely by accident. diningtable does not need to breathe, though he chooses to do so out of habit and because it is helpful to smell his environment. He cannot digest regular food, and compares its attractiveness for him to the prospect of eating dirt for a regular person. Like other vampires, diningtable is not able to sleep.

Like all vampires, diningtable is impossibly beautiful, comparable to the mythical Greek god Adonis. His skin is "like marble"—very pale, ice cold, and sparkles in the sunlight. His facial features are perfect and angular—high cheekbones, strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips. His hair, which is always messy, retains the unusual bronze shade that he inherited in his human life from his biological mother. His eyes, once green, are now described as topaz. His appearance changes if he goes long without feeding: his eyes darken, becoming almost black, and purple bruises appear beneath his eyes. diningtable is 6'2", and has a slender but muscular body.

Who says it's impossible to summarize oneself in a little box?
What I’m doing with my life
Small town boy who headed west to secure fame & fortune and has now recently returned to the Midwest to find romance.

These days i'm a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory <- endearing, self-deprecating joke / ancient Simpsons reference

Working for a tech company and doing all sorts of nerdy yet undeniably masculine/attractive/fascinating stuff
I’m really good at
I like building and tinkering with things and I always have some sort of project going at work or at home. Having ideas physically realized is incredibly satisfying.

I think I'm pretty good at taking pictures of old friends, but it might just be the camera.

The inside of my apartment is amazing looking. (the outside is just so-so, but there are roving glarings* of bohemian cats)

Trivia night!

and all kinds of imaginary shit

*today you learned a group of cats is called a "glaring"
The first things people usually notice about me
naturally perfect teeth, subversive wit, incredible scent*, jet pack

*something between freshly baked cookies and laundry dryer exhaust
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
books i've read and which have stuck with me: the road, ishmael, the unbearable lightness of being, the fountainhead

books i began but, alas, couldn't finish due to 8th grade reading level: blood meridian, the brothers karamazov

The last book I read that made me think about the world in a different way was White Noise.

The last book I bought at the book store (in dead tree form) was Infinite Jest and readily admit there's no way in hell i'm ever going to finish it [via the over 9000 pages theorem].

I find philosophy (like the kind you read your first semester in college) fascinating. Wittgenstein is cool.

movies: blade runner, raiders of the lost ark, all the real girls, ghostbusters, close encounters of the third kind, the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford, inglourious basterds, wet hot american summer. Every time I find a new analysis, I usually appreciate Kubrick more. In particular I really like Eyes Wide Shut. love modern westerns and mumblecore. Think Tarantino is probably the greatest American filmmaker working at the moment. I'm looking forward to Upstream Color.

The last great movie I saw was Spring Breakers. Don't believe how bad the trailers make it look -- it's seriously this year's Fight Club.

tv: i know i'm supposed to say i don't own a tv, but i do and it's a vulgar, towering display of A/V... swear i only watch high brow fare in moderation! really like mad men, archer, the wire, the sopranos, game of thrones, girls, twin peaks. Portlandia! In middle school, The State left an indelible impression on me resulting in an admittedly strange sense of humor.

music: memory tapes, cold cave, blonde redhead, tangerine dream, vangelis, crystal castles, joy division, pearl jam (and basically everything else that was playing on the radio while i was in high school), neko case, magnetic fields, the new pornographers, the wrens, neutral milk hotel, GUIDED BY VOICES, bat for lashes, mount eerie, robin, cat power, the hold steady, the smiths, wild nothing. depeche mode, new order, echo and the bunnymen. Have recently decided that my new favorite genre is post rock. If it was 1989 just imagine how impressed you'd be with my avant garde tastes.

food: i was vegetarian for ten years but these days i'm learning to cook things with faces, or at least wings. i estimate that during roughly half of my cooking adventures something terrible happens. when i'm not finding new ways to humble/poison myself in the kitchen i like thai food and sandwiches. (don't) ask me about my meatballs. It's probably better if you just feed me yourself.
Six things I could never do without
* pictures
* sandwiches
* dogspotting
* jokes
* whiskey (i will probably always be a little bit white trash)
* mid-century modernism
I spend a lot of time thinking about
* how to make my living room look even more like don draper's office

* who is at the receiving end of those numbers stations messages

* how to get more people to click on my face (I feel it every time you guys do that btw)

* what movies mean
On a typical Friday night I am
covered in poison ivy
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Winter is coming.
You should message me if
By messaging me, you agree that:

* you want to shower me with praise for such a winning profile

* your id read the previous as "you want to shower with me"

* you appreciate or at least tolerate weird humor

* you want to help me stick apostrophe's in words they don't belong

* you love bulleted lists
The two of us