dirty_ass
44 Manhattan, United States
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dirty_ass
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My self-summary
You have fucked worse/
What I’m doing with my life
I make a surprisingly decent living -- both W-2 and freelance -- blogging, writing marketing copy, researching, and all sorts of other shit. I work for a start-up as a salaried employee, and freelance for one of the world's largest corporations (their music division).

I work from home, and it is awesome. If I ever have to work in an office again I might slit my wrists. I've lived in the same East Village apartment for over 20 years and I am moving out on June 30. Any suggestions of neighborhoods welcome, but my point in bringing it up here is that I fear too remote a home might diminish the joy I take in the home office life.
I’m really good at
Perceptions of my assets, gifts, and/or skills vary radically from person to person. Most believe I possess at least one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I should probably clarify that some would qualify me as nerdy and/or geeky as regards these media. Being an enthusiast is one of my major hobbies, let's say.

I like classics like Dickens, Twain, and Joyce, and read a lot of sci-fi (or that general vicinity) type shit like Octavia Butler, Sam Delany, Ursula K. Le Guin, and Robert Heinlein. i also enjoy books on history, science, and all of that. I'm a reasonably big reader while somehow still not being anything like well read.

I've decided to list which film posters I have on my walls, which does not tell a coherent story or answer any question. There's a Polish poster for 'Cabaret,' a Czech poster for 'Planet of the Apes,' an American poster for 'Umbrellas of Cherbourg,' and a French poster for Fellini's 'Casanova' -- an Italian film mostly acted in English (by American star Donald Sutherland) and then dubbed into Italian.

I'll sometimes say my favorite film of all time is 'Playtime,' other times I'll insist I have no favorite. I love all sorts of films, of all genres and eras. I'm not the buffiest buff you've ever met -- I suppose that's true of everything --- but I do okay (that's less always true).

Here I go off, and sane people are encouraged to skip ahead. It's just fun to type this kind of shit.

My fave stuff tends to run in families. Like the Roxy family -- which includes Ferry, Eno. etc. They played on John Cale's best solo albums, which leads us to the Velvets family - Velvets, Lou, Cale, and Nico's first four albums. I love Philadelphia International Records (Gamble and Huff, et al), and Phlly Groove/Salsoul, I love most things Alec Costandinos was involved with in the 70s. The sadly less known Boris Midlney may be the greatest genius disco ever created. I love the Fania records family, and 70s NYC salsa.

I also love great American songbook stuff, Irving Berlin, George Gershwin, Cole Porter, etc.

These days I'm listening to tons of Yellow Magic Orchestra, Joni Michell, Smokey Robinson's early solo records, and I'm in a heavy Kraftwerk phase.

Also, I am a full-on P-Funk obsessive. The above mentioned former friend, in the midst of pointing out that we had nothing in common, before having the most clumsy and humiliating cybersex of my life, dismissed them as "some band from the 70s. "

Parliament-Funkadelic. "Some band from the 70s." God help us.

Oh, and Bohannon. Does this make sense to you? We may be onto something.

I also have weird, longstanding fixations on Judy and Liza, so maybe deal with that ahead of time. I'm also a massive Sinatra fan.

I collected vinyl as a kid, sold it all in my 20s, and recently again started a collection. It's modest compared to the gargantuan libraries of many a friend -- who did not sell their entire collections off and, as I did, lived without vinyl for 20 years (having every song every recorded on tap, like running water and for free, kept me plenty entertained in the intervening years) -- but it's potent.

Part I
Part II

I never stopped obsessed on music, and I'll frequently purge objects if I feel they're becoming too burdensome.

I also like weird, old TV shows like 'Sapphire and Steel,' 'The Avengers,' 'Kolchak: The Night Stalker,' 'The Prisoner,' and 60s/70s 'Doctor Who' (I also love the new version too, but discussing that on the internet comes with WAY too much baggage... people ruin everything). I love everything, pretty much, that Chris Morris has been involved in. I love 'Peep Show' and 'SCTV' and a lot of stuff.

And I'm a huge fan of any force for subversion and obliteration of elitism but also disruption of the status quo; Marcel Duchamp, Richard Pryor, Andy Warhol, Andy Kaufman, Harvey Kurtzman, George Herriman, John Waters, Sun Ra, Miles Davis, Kenneth Anger, Aleister Crowley, and on and on and on...
The six things I could never do without
Are cock and balls two things or three? That and pills (3 or 4, depending on the answer to the first question).

(Additional note: I had attempted to clean up this profile from a recent, more decidedly obnoxious version, but I didn't have the heart to change this. So, do know ultimately who you're dealing with.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much more difficult we as a species make things for ourselves than they probably need to be.

(I really do, I'm fucking deep like that.)
On a typical Friday night I am
It's Friday night as I type this, but I wouldn't read too much into that.

(It's 5am Tuesday as I type this part though, and THAT may tell a more interesting story.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm deathly allergic to cats.

This disgusts you because you love cats, and you irrationally view this as a flaw in my character. Also, you now regard me as genetically inferior and less than capable of being your - or your precious kitty's - protector should the shit go down (particularly if the shit going down somehow involves cats; attacking, or raining down upon us, or whatever the case may be).
You should message me if
I'm a total romantic, in a way. And a nice, good person. And an idiot. And a lunatic. Why is it so hard to find someone who will sit around listening to records, maybe making out, while occasionally stopping to order take out food that I'll almost certainly wind up paying for.

Let's be idiots together. But let's build something. Make something. Write something. DO something.

I'll date older than my age parameters, much older if we connect, i just get sick of OKCupid only showing me only old people.

Going places is great, or sit perfectly still should the mood strike, let's do all of that. I'd love to be involved in a relationship where productivity and collaboration were goals. Doesn't that sound fun?

But there's more, do review...

Mine is a niche appeal, and I am mostly a cult concern. I am fully and deeply aware of this and take NOBODY'S interest for granted. It's distinctly possible that you wouldn't care for me at all. I like to believe that if you've made it this far, however, there may be hope for us. Some extraordinarily eligible individuals do -- bless 'em -- get a kick out of me.

So, as ranted above, let's conceptualize a stupid and/or brilliant project and then execute the goddamned thing.

But, let's also sit around wasted listening to old soul records (which these days may for me mean discs recorded in Philadelphia between 1968 and 1979... although that phase may pass soon) and watching Hammer Horror movies, or Antonioni, or Planet of the Apes, or Tarkovsky, or an old MGM musical, or whatever.... All scenarios sound outstanding with the right person.

As for you...

You're a bright weirdo who adores sometimes -- but not always -- spending untold hours with one other person, doing everything from wandering the streets aimlessly to listening to Scott Walker records (link is crucial, to emphasize that i don't mean the Wisconsin governor) to watching fucked up horror movies to doing whatever unseemly things couples get up to behind closed doors (or in front of cameras, or under batting cages, or with microphones running, or whatever).

That's the ideal, at least.

If you're nice, cute, smart, funny, and can tolerate me it could work as well.

I'm actually a nice person. I'm a fuck up, in a sense, but I have savings, pay my bills on time, treat people kindly, I'm fiercely loyal, keep my hygiene in order, don't smoke or drink (other things find their ways in sometimes), love my parents (mom's dead, but still love her), eat healthy for the most part.

I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but some of the best looking women I've ever met have dated me, so I know I'm not hopeless.

This really shouldn't be so hard.
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