36Knoxville, United States
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My self-summary
Just moved to Tennessee.
I have a few tattoos, piercings, wear my pants around my waist, ive never taken a pic in the mirror and always have a comeback or a joke. From being a nerd to making a camp fire I'm a jack of all trades. USF graduate with an art degree. I make sure to always have tree fiddy on me. I own a food truck. Artisan Jell-O shot maker. I don't trust anyone or anything before 10am. World Champion Nap Taker. Shower singer. There's more all you have to do is ask.
What I’m doing with my life
Work, party hard, die young and leave a beautiful corpse
I’m really good at
Giving hugs

Making people laugh

Talking entirely in movie quotes

Dancing in the rain.

Dropping my phone


Parking in reverse
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, and that I'm a person
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Hunter and chuck palahniuk are masters of stories. Music died when the 90's ended and rockers went to rehab. As for movies, horror is where it's at and I should prolly invest in redbox.
Six things I could never do without
Googley Eyes... I put them on everything
Flip flops
People Watching
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Zombie apocalypse

Trying to make up 'would you rather...' questions

Disposable Pleasures and Meaningful Persuits

(with a group of people) the order of our human centipede

What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?

Why is there no sarcasm font?

If you are going to take that many selfies, then you should probably clean your mirror

It's easy finding someone to sleep with; finding someone worth waking up next too is the hard part.

When, where, and how did I get this bruise?

How come the pound sign/hashtag/number sign gets so much love and the ampersand is treated like shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to find a good beer with friends, at home in the pool, or working a food truck event
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If I'm in a store that sells Ed hardy anything I scream " I've made a huge mistake."

I don't own a microwave

At Walmart, I put condoms in everyone's shopping carts

I can keep a smile on your face and have you walking funny.

2009-2015 cuddle champion of North America

Undisputed cannonball champion of the Galaxy (Excludes Pluto)

Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
You should message me if
You want to run guns to Mexico

Get drunk and kill god

Play it safe, grab a drink and share war stories about 'Nam

I know that my profile may seem as if I'm a giant kid, but trust me when I say I have my shit together. I'm a self made small business owner who loves what he does and doesn't have the time to deal with drahma and trivial first world problems. I live my life carefree, happy and make the best of any situation. If you don't have your shit together please save yourself the time and move along because I'm over being a beer psychologist and a life coach. Have an awesome day and smile because smiles are contagious!
The two of us