I have a few tattoos, piercings, wear my pants around my waist, ive never taken a pic in the mirror and always have a comeback or a joke. From being a nerd to making a camp fire I'm a jack of all trades. USF graduate with an art degree. I make sure to always have tree fiddy on me. I own a food truck. Artisan Jell-O shot maker. I don't trust anyone or anything before 10am. World Champion Nap Taker. Shower singer. There's more all you have to do is ask.
Making people laugh
Talking entirely in movie quotes
Dancing in the rain.
Dropping my phone
Parking in reverse
Trying to make up 'would you rather...' questions
Disposable Pleasures and Meaningful Persuits
(with a group of people) the order of our human centipede
What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?
Why is there no sarcasm font?
If you are going to take that many selfies, then you should probably clean your mirror
It's easy finding someone to sleep with; finding someone worth waking up next too is the hard part.
When, where, and how did I get this bruise?
How come the pound sign/hashtag/number sign gets so much love and the ampersand is treated like shit.
I don't own a microwave
At Walmart, I put condoms in everyone's shopping carts
I can keep a smile on your face and have you walking funny.
2009-2015 cuddle champion of North America
Undisputed cannonball champion of the Galaxy (Excludes Pluto)
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Get drunk and kill god
Play it safe, grab a drink and share war stories about 'Nam
I know that my profile may seem as if I'm a giant kid, but trust me when I say I have my shit together. I'm a self made small business owner who loves what he does and doesn't have the time to deal with drahma and trivial first world problems. I live my life carefree, happy and make the best of any situation. If you don't have your shit together please save yourself the time and move along because I'm over being a beer psychologist and a life coach. Have an awesome day and smile because smiles are contagious!