44Emeryville, United States
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My self-summary
I am passionately interested. At one time or another, I've worked towards becoming an animator, a pilot, an arms control negotiator, a women's studies professor, a systems engineer, a martial arts teacher, a DJ, an acupuncturist, and a trader. I am always engaged in a conscious process of becoming something I envision for myself.

Friends have described me as:

"the body of a rock climber, the face of a software developer"

"a hopeless romantic, cynical asshole with a heart of gold".

At some point, you will call me an incorrigible pain in the ass. But you'll be laughing so hard when you say it, it will be impossible for me to take you seriously.

I think instant gratification is for suckers.

I try to leave the world a better place than I found it. I would strive to be a nice guy even if I didn't believe in karma.

I'm not fragile. I'm great at vulnerability, but I suck at weakness.

I'm kinda clean cut. On the outside.

About the only thing on your face that I would be less enthusiastic about than a septum piercing is a penis. The nostrils are not the "window to the soul", people...

I have confidence in spades, but I know the difference between self-esteem and egotism.

I have strong hands and a gentle touch.

I'm complex without being complicated.

If I don't feel that elusive "chemistry" with you, I won't treat you with benign neglect until you figure it out. I'll just tell you -- as gently as I can. Hopefully, you won't pull that lame maneuver on me.

I am not a player. I think it is more lonely to be with the wrong person. I'm not trying to fill some existential hole in my heart with women. I might settle for great sex and companionship with a special someone, but really, I'm lookin' for love.

What I Am Looking For:

I'd like a friend, a lover, a partner, a confidant, a rival.

You're fiercely independent and happy alone. The thought of someone else "completing" you is laughable.

You're really smart, but you don't think you've got all the answers. I'm attracted to all kinds of smarts -- intellectual, physical, emotional, spiritual, street...

You will tease me without mercy when I do something ridiculous. But you're funny when you do it, so I'm always tempted to be ridiculous.

You like a challenge. You are working towards a mastery of *something*.

You do what you say, you say what you mean, and you mean what you do. I think integrity and intention are hot.

You've got the sass in you. You can take it as well as you can dish it out.

You're brave. In some way, shape, or form you are fighting the good fight. It could be your job, your passion, your hobby... But if you're not doing something to make the world a better place, I doubt we'll click.

You're worldly, but not too cynical or jaded. You talk more about the things you like, not the things you hate. You're authentic. You know that true happiness cannot be purchased.

You can enjoy silence.

You'll kiss my boo-boos. This could easily be a part-time job as I get banged up with some regularity.

You're comfortable with your dark side, but it doesn't rule you.

You're intensely curious. You realize that the answers to life's questions are often simple, but rarely easy.

You're a total catch.

Major bonus points if you rock climb or have a dog. Except for a little yappy dog that hates everything in the universe but you and dinner.

Infinite demerits if you vote Republican. Unless, I suppose, you're comfortable with every political discussion ending in a spanking
What I’m doing with my life
For work... These days I'm a senior security consultant. More white hat than black.

For fun... My free time tends to be spent doing something physical -- martial arts, kettlebells, rock climbing... I'm quite dedicated to my qigong and meditation practice, but it doesn't make me a fucking hippie.

One night a week I tutor kids incarcerated in the maximum security unit of Juvenile Hall in San Francisco. We help them work towards getting their GED while they are locked up. It's awesome.

My friends and I sometimes make soup, chili, and quesadillas for about a hundred and fifty people and pass it out in the Tenderloin. It's my favorite thing to do in the city:
I’m really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
I hear it's my glasses, smile, or physique. And on occasion, my dashing lizard suit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, China Mieville, Richard K. Morgan, Stephen King's Dark Tower series, George R. R. Martin, Gene Wolfe, Glen Cook, Ian M. Banks, Jim Butcher, I could go on... Books are my escapism of choice.


Amelie, Blade Runner, Man on the Train, Elling, Slumdog Millionaire, The Wrestler, Trust, Superbad, Band of Brothers, Audition, Man Bites Dog, Pan's Labyrinthe, Wonder Boys, Station Agent, Pumpkin, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Rushmore, Royal Tennenbaums, Ghost in the Shell, Akira, We Were Soldiers, Fight Club, Morvern Callar, etc.


I tend toward the healthy. I can cook an amazing meal for 200 people. But I'd rather cook for two.
Six things I could never do without
Speed, angle, timing, rhythm, power, breath
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The next home improvement project.


On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing with my dog. And if the photos don't make it clear, I won the dog lottery. Seriously... If you've ever considered dating a man for his dog... well... you'll win the dog lottery too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well, my Dad likes to tell "when he was young" stories. One of his favorites is:

The first time I went on one of those pirate ship rides at an amusement park, I was about 7 or 8 years old. After the ship got a rockin' a bit, I loudly exclaimed, "Hey Dad, it tickles my penis!!".

That story is in heavy rotation.

Or I could tell you that his nickname for me as a child was "Bunny".

Thanks, Dad. I don't think pet names get more butch than "Bunny".
You should message me if
You like your sweet nerds with some edge to them.

I'm not really looking for a "party girl", a "material girl", or a "goddess". Or someone who's life revolves around Burning Man. I'm not interested in Ayn Rand devotees either -- I have no time for heartless utopianism.

I have a soft spot for late bloomers and people who are good in a crisis (that's you, nurses).

If you're taller than me in your favorite heels and it doesn't bother you, I already think you're pretty cool.

I respond to all messages. If you are kind enough to flatter me with a note, I don't think you should be left wondering whether or not I read it. Manners, after all, are free. But please be patient. There are a lot of demands on my time right now and I'm not always able to respond as fast as I'd like.

One sentence messages that don't exhibit much thought or effort get answered last. Telling me I'm on your favorites list is kind of a turn-off. Just send a note. You'll get a response. I promise.
The two of us