i'm an INFP and neither very casual nor very eager about dating. i prefer to get to know people first, but i am also a proponent of treating people well even if friendship or dating doesn't work out. Nothing matters to me nearly so much as compassionate but uncompromising internal honesty. i tend to distrust those who would prefer to be swept away or seduced by people and things (less the oceanic) rather than step back and make conscious, definitive, heartfelt leaps. Please don't write to me if you ever resort to cheap-shots, emotional cliches, or easy self-serving narratives. Essentially, i search for those who aspire to Kohlberg's postconventional morality with a strong sense of existential humility and interpersonal compassion.
Or, put another way: if most of the problems humanity faces are caused by us (they are), perhaps we need to better understand our own psychologies in order to collectively outsmart ourselves.
(movies) Reality Bites, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Kicking and Screaming (1995), The Fifth Element, Animal Crackers, Inherit the Wind, Before Sunset, Moulin Rouge, A Bug's Life, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, The Last Time I Committed Suicide, Everyone Says I Love You, Bicentennial Man, Brazil, Garden State, Waking Life, To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday, Deconstructing Harry, 12 Monkeys, The Wedding Singer, The Feminine Touch, The Pompatus of Love, Return to Neverland, Josie and the Pussycats, The Tigger Movie, Wall-E, Synecdoche, New York, The Brothers Bloom, The Art of Getting By, and so on in that fashion...
(shows) Maddow, Charlie Rose, Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, Elementary (over) The Late Late Show, The Daily Show, Cupid, Get Smart, House, Monk, Mad About You, Big Love, Invader Zim, Firefly, any Star Trek, Lie to Me
(music) The early work of... John Mayer, A Fine Frenzy, Counting Crows, Lisa Loeb, Fiona Apple, Eels, Third Eye Blind, David Gray, Sarah McLachlan, Duncan Sheik, Ben Folds Five, Indigo Girls, Regina Spektor
(food) strawberries, hot chocolate, milkshakes
(other things i like) cloudy skies, the smell of autumn, kind gestures, grand gestures, people who wear glasses, a well-used vocabulary, a poorly-used vernacular, great lyrics, children, the implied infinity between stars, working pencil erasers, singing along
The one thing I would rather never do without
That moment when you share something so uncannily good that it both humbles and beatifies the rest of everything with someone who you know will thoroughly comprehend the impossible significance in a milieu so seemingly prosaic, and they look at you as though you have just given them the entirety of existence in a moment, before you both gradually but quickly forget again.
...or if you can buy me a bookstore in Ann Arbor, Annapolis, Pasadena, Providence, or Cambridge.
“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness." — Rollo May
"It is by an extreme capacity for defiance that certain very rare people who have everything to hope and everything to fear from each other will recognize each other." — Andre Breton
"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love — first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage." — Albert Camus