donquixotic
36 Fairfax, United States
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donquixotic
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My self-summary
Most human relationships feel incidental to me — guided by limited expectations from past social groups, alongside our current context and needs, and then painted over with romantic narratives. i prefer to seek the more authentic romance of reality in those handful of connections with old souls who approach love, friendship, and human psychology with thoroughness and introspection.

i'm an INFP and neither very casual nor very eager about dating. i prefer to get to know people first, but i am also a proponent of treating people well even if friendship or dating doesn't work out. Nothing matters to me nearly so much as compassionate but uncompromising internal honesty. i tend to distrust those who would prefer to be swept away or seduced by people and things (less the oceanic) rather than step back and make conscious, definitive, heartfelt leaps. Please don't write to me if you ever resort to cheap-shots, emotional cliches, or easy self-serving narratives. Essentially, i search for those who aspire to Kohlberg's postconventional morality with a strong sense of existential humility and interpersonal compassion.
What I’m doing with my life
Just got back from Peace Corps. Trying to finish a PhD about the future of truth and meaning from a perspective integrating existential philosophy with evolutionary psychology — thereby sincerely attempting to save the world through epistemology...

Or, put another way: if most of the problems humanity faces are caused by us (they are), perhaps we need to better understand our own psychologies in order to collectively outsmart ourselves.
I’m really good at
i use words like whatnot and groovy in everyday conversation, sing (badly) to myself, make terrible puns, want to add Oxford commas to signage but have neither the gall nor discipline to follow through, and end up trying to over-protect everyone all the time like Charlie from Charlie and Lola.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(books/plays) My inner monologue lies somewhere between Adams, Hornby, and Dostoevsky, and i can be lured out for most anything Shakespeare, Ibsen, or Stoppard.

(movies) Reality Bites, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Kicking and Screaming (1995), The Fifth Element, Animal Crackers, Inherit the Wind, Before Sunset, Moulin Rouge, A Bug's Life, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, The Last Time I Committed Suicide, Everyone Says I Love You, Bicentennial Man, Brazil, Garden State, Waking Life, To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday, Deconstructing Harry, 12 Monkeys, The Wedding Singer, The Feminine Touch, The Pompatus of Love, Return to Neverland, Josie and the Pussycats, The Tigger Movie, Wall-E, Synecdoche, New York, The Brothers Bloom, The Art of Getting By, and so on in that fashion...

(shows) Maddow, Charlie Rose, Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, Elementary (over) The Late Late Show, The Daily Show, Cupid, Get Smart, House, Monk, Mad About You, Big Love, Invader Zim, Firefly, any Star Trek, Lie to Me

(music) The early work of... John Mayer, A Fine Frenzy, Counting Crows, Lisa Loeb, Fiona Apple, Eels, Third Eye Blind, David Gray, Sarah McLachlan, Duncan Sheik, Ben Folds Five, Indigo Girls, Regina Spektor

(food) strawberries, hot chocolate, milkshakes

(other things i like) cloudy skies, the smell of autumn, kind gestures, grand gestures, people who wear glasses, a well-used vocabulary, a poorly-used vernacular, great lyrics, children, the implied infinity between stars, working pencil erasers, singing along
The six things I could never do without
authenticity. love. play. exploration. thought. growth. ...Pandora.

The one thing I would rather never do without
That moment when you share something so uncannily good that it both humbles and beatifies the rest of everything with someone who you know will thoroughly comprehend the impossible significance in a milieu so seemingly prosaic, and they look at you as though you have just given them the entirety of existence in a moment, before you both gradually but quickly forget again.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Galileo Galilei had an unparalleled view of the stars from his telescope and tried to share it with anyone he could. His colleagues refused. In a letter to Johannes Kepler he wrote, "Shall we laugh, or shall we cry?" This is, in general, how i feel about human nature.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i'm innately (and inescapably) attracted to passionate constancy, uncommon integrity, shared trust on the basis of empathetic introspection, and impractical adventures exploring the world from that foundation.
You should message me if
Please be thoughtful, open, heartfelt, and authentic. If you strive for carefree optimism, thrive on hopeless pessimism, or just try to avoid being bored, we probably won't get along. i adore joy, laughter, existential humility, and unabashed silly, but there is also so very much inspiration for deeper meaning, investment, passion, profundity, and sorrow.

...or if you can buy me a bookstore in Ann Arbor, Annapolis, Pasadena, Providence, or Cambridge.

“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness." — Rollo May

"It is by an extreme capacity for defiance that certain very rare people who have everything to hope and everything to fear from each other will recognize each other." — Andre Breton

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love — first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage." — Albert Camus
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