34Denver, United States
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My self-summary
**Sorry, Denver. Consider this profile abandoned. I've left your shore-less shores and venturing towards someplace with, well, shores. Consequentially, I'm not really interested in meeting new people in CO right now. Thanks for all the fish.**

I'm pretty quiet the first time you meet me, but if I like you, I warm up quick. Similarly, I'm terrible at being the first at anything. First one in the pool, first one on the dance floor, first one to introduce themselves, whatever. But with some healthy goading, I'm up for just about anything.

I love adventures and adventuring, just not in your typical Colorado-an sense. I prefer my death-defying in the form of castle spelunking, reverse escalator riding, road trip navigating, and/or various other events that may or maynot someday get me lost. (Suggestions welcome.)
What I’m doing with my life
Being a velociraptor astronaut didn't pan out. These days, I use my half-a-graduate-degree to make sure teenagers don't set themselves on fire while they're hanging out otherwise unsupervised. It's pretty swell.
I’m really good at
Reading comic books, doing my laundry, double knee falls, puddle jumping, moon tanning, talking to my parents, cleaning my skates, teaching said teenagers to be feminists, trying to eat my weight in waffles.

I'm really bad at: whistling, bowling, mini golf, astrophysics, folding my laundry, cleaning my room, t-stops, calling my parents back, remembering to clean my skates, not reading the comments sections, actually eating my weight in waffles. Not like any of that stops me from trying.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm the resident adult in the room. Granted, this is because 2/3 of my time is spent hanging out with teenagers. Adults probably notice that I look like a teenager.

Something not work related? I don't ski. I don't ski, I'm not paleo, I don't drive a Subaru, I hate my bike. Been there, tried that, not interested. Sorry? Except for the Subaru part. I'd really like to learn how to drive stick.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
1) Personal reading list for the last few years has basically been the Hugo Award nominees, though I'm occasionally distracted by assorted nonfiction. I met my GoodReads 2013 challenge (52 books in 52 weeks) with 3 days to spare.

ii) Videodrome, Josie and the Pussycats, Mystery Men, Groundhog Day, every Christopher Lambert movie ever made. Post-apocalyptic thrillers and meta-referential comedies.

Music) Things that bleep and boop and crash, theremins and keytars preferred. The Weakerthans, Holy Fuck, Brainiac, The Faint, Justin Timberlake, DEVO, John Zorn, Nirvana, bands you've never heard of, blah blah blah. You don't need to love what I love, you just need to love that I love it. (People who love "everything but classical and country" make me nervous.)

d) The only way I'm going paleo is if I actually get to eat a sabre toothed tiger. My favourite kinds of sushi are uni and ankimo, but roe is weird. Don't ask me how that works.
Six things I could never do without
My family, lox & cream cheese, the inevitable heat death of the universe, my quad skates, Super Mario Brothers: The Movie, platypi.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Leonardo DaVinci. Time travel. The physics of a perfect turning toe stop. Punny roller derby names. Why liberal hotheads are just as infuriating as conservative hotheads. Why concept cars never look as good in production as they did in prototype. Am I really immune to poison ivy? That book I want to write. Those trips I want to take. Can someone please loan me a TARDIS?Curling. Cursing. Socktopi. Interrobangs. Old relationships. New relationships. Edison and Tesla. The past. The future. Where to go and how to get there.

Are the people who I score 100% enemy with just people who haven't answered enough questions, or are they really fervent creationists who answered Yes to "Do women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved" or "Most claims of sexual harrassment in the workplace are LIES made up by a scorned woman"?
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I read a lot. And if you'll allow me an actual moment of soulmate searching here, I'm not interested in dating anyone who doesn't read, or "hasn't read a book in years, lol." Active literacy is important to me, and to that idealized future-life I'd like to be living. There. I said it. Take me now, Hipster Police.
You should message me if
When you think of your perfect relationship, you think "partner," not "perfect."

You're willing to give things a second, sometimes even a third, chance. Experience has taught me that first meetups from the internet are almost universally awkward.

I hate to add this, but after a slew of abusive messages, here it is:
If it's within your wheelhouse to respond to/take polite rejection like a sane, mature human being. If you've ever responded to a woman who didn't respond to one of your messages, or politely turned you down, with "whatever, bitch!" or something similarly childish and degrading, please just don't even bother to contact me. As a sane adult who has the ability to learn from previous data, I can tell you that we will not be a good match. You will not neg me into attraction. Hot stove is hot, dude who lashes out at rejection lashes out.
The two of us