Actual Summary: I'm just a guy, six-foot and average build, with light brown just-past-the-shoulder-length hair, a beard that comes and goes on a seasonal basis, glasses, and often, when outdoors, a hat. I can sometimes be seen carrying a laptop computer, a tape measure, an acoustic guitar, a french-grip foil, or an old pulp sci-fi paperback. I enjoy reading, tinkering, and music of several types that tends to blend the various acoustic-oriented genres.
I'm inclined towards sarcasm (because you totally couldn't figure that out from the opening sentence without me pointing it out), with a tendency towards what I like to pretend is an endearingly amusing blend of optimistically self-deprecating and excessively verbose skepticism (I'm not quite sure what that means anymore, I'm afraid, but I still think it sounds good). I was about halfway through typing another sentence here when I got distracted by something shiny and lost track of my topic, but I kept typing anyway until I came to the period at the end of this sentence.
Please note that in the (statistically unlikely) event that you and I end up finding true love or whatever and move in together, the house in which we end up residing must (this is utterly non-negotiable) contain at least one of the following: A secret passage, a tower, a draw bridge and/or a ball pit.
That's not a metaphor, or a figure of speech, or anything. It's an accurate description of what I did at work the day I wrote this. My other-job's kind of fun.
I'm mildly okay at: maintenance of pre-catalytic-converter British sports-car motors, being an amusing smart-alec ("Smart-alec" is apparantly the socially acceptable form of the term smart-ass, which I would never dream of including here oh bother...), playing acoustic guitar, mucking about (that's the advanced technical terminology) with computers, a large range of tasks involving fine motor control and manual dexterity, setting people up for dirty jokes, and having writers' block.
Also, sometimes, people notice my hat. Other times, I don't wear a hat. Thus far, I've only had one person comment on my hat when I wasn't wearing it (and while I'm pretty sure he was a bit drunk, since I'd just served him his fourth rum and coke of the night, I don't think it was related to the comment).
Favorite Book:George R. R. Martin's Tuf Voyaging, which I recently obtained a personalized autographed copy of. (It made me very happy. Numfar, do the dance of Joy!(Gold star if you get that reference))
(with one exception, I am also a fan of pretty much all other works by authors listed here.)
Runners up: Daniel Quinn's My Ishmael, all five books of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy, (Yes, I know what 'trilogy' is supposed to mean.) Isaac Asimov's Nightfall (technically a short story, but still very awesome), Neal Stephenson's Anathem, Frank Herbert's original Dune, and most of the series that started with Ender's Game (the author of this is the exception mentioned above. I'm deliberately omitting mention of his name, because he's a big dumb meanie-face head.)
Honorable Mention to the works of: Robert A. Heinlein when he wasn't being a horrendously dirty old man, Jim Butcher for the 'Dinosaur Incident', Madeline L'engle for breaking physics so well, Neil Gaiman for reasons that should be obvious, Terry Pratchett (who is totally not allowed to have Alzheimers, whatever 'reality' may say about it) Lois McMasters Bujold for Quaddies!, C. J. Cherryh for good books and stuff but mostly for the great recipes that she posts on her authorblog occasionally, Timothy Zahn for the books that kept me from noticing the teenangst drama in high school, Ursula K. LeGuin for the Ansible and Earthsea, Andre Norton for kitties (or was that something else... It's been a while since I read it last...), Michael Moorcock for epicosity (which is totally a real word, whatever spellcheck says to the contrary), and Larry Niven/Jerry Pournelle for the scene in Mote where Horace does the EVA that sends chills down my spine just thinking about it and the scene in Hammer where the throw-away character surfs a tsunami through the financial district because that was so fun to read.
Additional Honorable Mention to Eleizer Yudkowski's HPMoR fanfic, which is epic and well done and needs to update quicker.
Favorite Movie: To Have and Have Not (You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? )
Runners up: Serenity (would have been top of the list, but spoiler leaf on the wind...), Lord of the Rings, Casablanca, Richard III (the one with Ian 'Gandalf' McKellan as a Shakespearean Nazi (yeah, you read that right.)), Spinal Tap, The Empire Strikes Back, the film of The RSC production of Hamlet with The Doctor in the title role and Picard as Claudius, and many dozens more, including most of the works of Alfred Hitchcock, Mel Brooks, [placeholder], and Stanley Kubrick (except 'Barry Lyndon').
Favorite TV Show: this space intentionally left blank.
Runners Up (Alphabetical order, since I can't make up my mind): Battlestar Galactica, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who, Farscape, Firefly, Game of Thrones, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Sherlock, and The Muppet Show.
Favorite Music: A huge variety of stuff, mostly offbeat acoustic stuff of one variety or another. Includes, but by no means limited to: Gandalf Murphy & the Slambovian Circus of Dreams, Red Molly, Richard Thompson, Beethoven's 9th Symphony, 4th Movement, Bear McCreary's soundtracks (especially the BSGs4 iteration of 'Wander, My Friends' and the Ancient Greek 'Tauron Rap' from Caprica (which finally has a real soundtrack coming out! Yay!)), Bonnie Raitt's version of Randy Newman's Guilty, Paul and Storm's version of Randy Newman's (hypothetical) theme from It's a Wonderful Life, (though I don't really care as much for Newman's own performances... go figure.), Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here album (yeah, sure, Dark Side of the Moon is good too, but I'd rank Echoes and even bits of Division Bell higher, even without Waters' contribution to the group. I can talk about this for rather too long, if you'd like, but I'd prefer not to...), Janis Joplin's version of Rogers and Hart's Little Girl Blue, and just about anything that's in the 'pretty-kind-of-sad' cluster of music.
Also, Tom Waits. Can't forget him.
And Leonard Cohen. Hallelujah!
And Flight of the Conchords.
and Dafe Brudajo. (If you've ever heard of them, we've probably met. I'm still trying to convince them to do more gigs.)
Favorite Beverage: Home brewed ginger ale - mix freshly peeled and grated raw ginger, lemon juice, sugar, bakers yeast, and water in an airtight container. Let sit at room temperature for about a week. Consume.
Favorite Food: Okay, if you've made it this far, you're obviously either really bored, stalking me, or kind of crazy. In any of those cases, you could probably use something to do while you wait for a reply to that note you're about to send me to say 'Hi' (go ahead. This will still be here when you're done), so why not try this recipe? It'll kill a couple hours, and at the end, you'll have some delicious food.
First, take a large mixing bowl (preferably nonmetallic, for thermal conductivity reasons) and warm it slightly, to just above room temperature. In that bowl, dissolve one-and-one-quarter tablespoons bread yeast and one half teaspoon of sugar. After three to five minutes, you should have a warm, slightly muddy looking fluid in the bottom of your mixing bowl. Slosh it around gently to obtain a relatively even consistency, then add another half cup of water, a tablespoon or so of olive oil, 3/4ths of a tablespoon of sugar, four pinches each of dried basil and oregano, half a teaspoon of salt, and a cup and a half of flour. (I find best results come from using King Arthur Whole Wheat White Unbleached flour, but you can use whatever's available.) Mix well, adding additional flour until your dough congeals into a ball and can be separated from the sides of your mixing bowl. Cover the top of your bowl with a towel and set it in a warm place for an hour and a half or so while you move on to the next step.
Second, sautee a small onion and a clove-bulb-node-thing-I-don't-know-what-to-call-it-let's-just-call-it-a-piece of garlic, both diced finely, in olive oil. When the onion turns translucent and the garlic starts to turn light brown combine them (and the oil) in a saucepan with a large can worth of diced tomatoes (usually about three or four fresh tomatoes, depending on size) and a small can of tomato paste (or if you want to take the time, just use two-to-three more tomatoes and start the sauce an hour or so earlier so as to have enough time to reduce it sufficiently). Add one-half tablespoon of sugar and one-half teaspoon of salt, a generous pinch of basil and oregano, a small jot of red wine, and a teaspoon of parmesan cheese, mix together well, and cook at fairly low heat, stirring fairly regularly. You should achieve the desired consistency after about an hour, at which point you should reduce to very low heat, and stir only occasionally.
Thirdly, after ensuring a clean work area and clean hands, take a large, flat, round pan (like, 16"-20" diameter large) and smear a thin layer of butter all over its top surface. doing this should leave you with a similar layer of butter all over your hands, allowing you to remove the (now risen) dough from its bowl and kneed it thoroughly before spreading it thinly across the buttered pan. You should have enough dough for a thin layer across the entire pan, with a roughly doubled thickness around the edges for a crust. Place this into a 400 degree oven briefly to encourage it to re-rise a little bit, then remove it again and spread a layer of the tomato sauce across it. Top with ~2-3 cups of shredded mozzarella, sprinkle with basil and oregano and whatever toppings you prefer, then bake at 425 fahrenheit until the cheese has melted together and begun to brown, usually a matter of about thirty minutes. (You've got just enough time to wash the mixing bowl and saucepan and to figure out where your circular cutter got to. (No, I don't know how it wound up in the car. Please don't ask.)) Once it's removed from the oven, it will be cool enough to eat in about five to ten minutes. Enjoy!