59 Hewitt, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
we are supposed to judge a profile based on 10 sentences as if we are purchasing an espresso machines. FART! i suppose that makes me a curmudgeon but an enlightened curmudgeon.

what i do is hit the like button so i know i visited a profile. mebbe you do the same thing. then the okcupid bot sends me a message saying we "liked" each other. i revisit your profile. i "like" lots of profiles. what's not to like? i'm very cosmopolitan when it comes to women. besides..."likes" are invisible. the only way to see a "like" is to "like" that profile back. i figger dat if i "like" enough profiles someone will "like" me back and some small percentage will mebbe go on a date or some other happy ending. it's very similar to the drake equation used to to determine if there are other civilizations on other planets.

and then there's the hide button. i use that also ,especially those far, far away, exceptions allowed. if there are key words in it such as "sarcastic, "acerbic" or sentence "it's my turn now"....unless, of course, there's some great cleavage. please! hide me. save me from your evil id monster. i freely admit i aint for every woman. i'd rather turn you off right at the start. SHEESH!

lots of gals say that if a man hasnt got a profile picture they wont reply. that make sense. if you dont have a profile picture i wont reply either.

i think if we want to meet after some email exchanges or phone talking we should meet half way. map my location. i'll map yours. if it is more than 40 miles i wont reply (unless, of course, you got some great cleavage).

compensated dating...well, for the first couple dates we should go cheap or free. a walk in the park. checking out a street fair or flea market. yeah, even though we iz all equal gals expect the guy to pick up the tab. if it was a sure thing to get some nookie i would be all for it. there is a sub culture of gals using dating sites to get free meals and entertainment. a working class wonk, such as myself, finds it an expensive and a most unsatisfactory hobby. i could be a sugar daddy but you would have to be one hot number (with great cleavage). you could be my sugar mom. i'm cool with that. wont hurt my pride, might even boost it.

exactly what am i looking for? companionship, an activity partner, a helper, mebbe even a lover, friends at least. what would be great if all those traits were in one gal. i would be all of those attributes in return (and much, much MORE!). we should keep a ledger book to make sure one of us isnt taking advantage of the other. we want to keep "the benefits" beneficial to us both. if you make a guy change the oil in your car or fix a leaking faucet isnt that " a friend with benefits"? and wouldnt you help me vacuum my purple rug? HOT DAM! there's a benefit i could use. or suppose i buy tickets to a show then next time you buy tickets to a show, &c.

times is hard. every one is trying to get over or get even. it's difficult to trust. we are all victims of the modern age.
What I’m doing with my life
i wanna see what happens next on the monkey sphere. this is easy being an uhmerikan. i have a ring side seat for the freak show! expecting the unexpected, DUCK!
I’m really good at
fooling the gods. annoying TPTB. BAU. spilling soup on a stranger.
marring a strange tale in telling it. delivering a plain message bluntly. taking a good idea and running it into the ground. taking a bad idea and running it into the ground.
The first things people usually notice about me
bubbles coming out of my ears.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
book-the city and the stars. movies-wallace and grommet, curse of the were rabbit. music-the decemberists. food-free! i am steeped in jap anime. may i suggest, ramen fighter miki? how about chobits? xxxholic? the daughter of twenty faces? zetsuen no tempest? haz to be english subtitles and OST. i like videos but i hate going to the movies. i dont fit in the seats, legs too long.
The six things I could never do without
food (free), water, air, gravity, space, time.(SN@RX!) there is a 7th thing. i hate this thing. it is money. we all need money, the curse of capitalism. the root of all evil but just like potatoes a most necessary root! GREAT CLEAVAGE!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
some boffins say we are living in a computer simulation. elon musk thinks so. every time i log onto okcupid i know it's true.

i iz glad i doan haz to wear lipstick and shave me legs. ARGH! why do women dye their hair and men get hair transplants?


the ways with which okcupid messes with it's member's minds (never get down on anybody else’s hustle). consider, i have been noticing that there are an increase in male matches i'm getting. mebbe okcupid is subtly telling me to "switch gears on the angle of my dangle". i notice dat okcupid iz already "liking" gals for me. otherwise i "liked" so many gals i kaint remember dem all. sometimes i like to write in the manner of MARK TWAIN!

how many dates do we have to go on before you show me the panties you are wearing? do they have hearts on them? duckies? a cute tiny bow on the front?

how to avoid the swirling greed of the vulgar elite.
On a typical Friday night I am
regenerating in the central incubator. what about yourself?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i have never seen a UFO. i have never seen BigFoot.
i have never seen a sea monster. i have, however, seen the northern lights. I tell terrible, horrible lies (dont we all? {yes, you do}) [logic bomb]. i often hop around like a kangaroo (for insight jumps, less complicated than , say, quantum jumping). some times i pretend to be an an old goat, BA-AH-AH! point of fact, i pretend to be many different animals. of course my fav pretend is to be human. ooo-ooo, ah-ah, eee-eee!
You should message me if
message me? i thought it was massage me! SN@RX!