40Minneapolis, United States
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My self-summary
"Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?" Quick name the movie... 10 pts!

Hi and thanks for checking out my page!

I would describe myself as grounded, determined, intelligent, and funny... funny like a clown! Quick! Guess the movie! 10 more points!

I’m a dog guy. I have an extra soft spot for most animals but more so for dogs because… dogs have personality. Personality goes a long ways. 10 pts!

I live in Minneapolis... where red ferns still grow and people can still cultivate a great sense of life without adhering to the unwritten mundane rituals of suburbia. I find those social expectations annoying and cumbersome.

I like my job because "I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss..." 10 pts! ...and I don't have to report to a higher authority daily. Really, who wants to do that job?

I'm looking for an awesome gal that I can form a strong bond with. You know, the type of relationship when our hands and tongues and thoughts are enough.

These profiles are mostly false advertisments... I'm just trying to get you to laugh.

Girl shakin' her azzz ad on the right, Thanks OK CUPID --->
What I’m doing with my life
...working on my bo staff skills, computer hacking skills, nunchuku skills. 10pts!

...saving money so I can afford basic cable someday... so I can watch Conan O'Brien once more....

Really though, working too much. Not playing enough. Sucks to be me sometimes but you know what they say... When life gives you lemons... shut the fuck up and eat your god dang lemons.

You know, this question is actually more intrusive than the “The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit” question below. I’m surprised how much people reveal here… it’s really a Jedi mind trick question so I’m moving along… "these aren’t the droids we are looking for." 10 really easy pts.
I’m really good at
...catching delicious bass... singing happy birthday... being an awesome uncle... and not bragging about myself sooo much when given the chance to. :)
The first things people usually notice about me
... my awesome knowledge of useless and random things. Maaa big head, my shit brown eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Reads: Classic stuff... The Sun Also Rises, The Great Gatsby, The Pearl, Catcher in the Rye, etc...

More modern stuff... A Soldier of the Great War (Mark Helprin), Blonde (Joyce Carol Oates).

Last read... The Big Short (M. Lewis)

Flicks: Top ten stuff would include; Memento, 2001: A space Oddssey, Raging Bull, Pulp Fiction, Magnolia, *sigh*...Josie and the Pussycats.

My favorite directors are Kubrick, PT Anderson, Scorsese, and who ever did Pootietang. :)

I'm attracted to movies with themes of redemption, revenge, and, vindication. If you can find a movie that features all three you have yourself a classic... if it's done without martyrdom, it's a masterpiece. Epic masterpieces include: Unforgiven, Cape Fear (Scorsese), The Crow, Kill Bill (both) and... *sigh*Roadhouse. Epic Failures would include... V for Vendetta, Gran Torrino, and... *sigh*Matrix Trilogy.

Recently saw... "Queen of Versailles" Paris Hilton on Steriods.

..."The Master" ...I'm convinced Tom Cruise saw this movie and will leave Scientology. This opens the possibility of him going full retard for his next role.

Wooooooot! PT Anderson.

Telly: South Park, Crank Yankers, 6 O'clock brainwash... oh yeah, and Twin Peaks (Cooper is an alien... his recorder is his triquarter and he is talking to the mothership when he speaks into it)! <---Bammm! Droppin' the TP theory that blows your mind!

...what else? Kymaro, Comfortisse, cami secret, bare lifts, bandina, ahh bra, genie bra. Oh yeah, and Sunday night football.


Tunes: I like to keep an open ear to all music but my soul belongs to 90's alt/rock. That being said... Hendrix, Pearl Jam, Paul Westerberg, Tom Waits...

I melt for piano driven ginger music... see Tori Amos, Kate Nash, Regina Spektor. My heart does little dances when I listen to Kate Nash.

My favorite Stones song is Beast of Burden. *sings* I'll never leave your pizza burning.

My favorite Zepplin song is Stairway to Heav... No Stairway! DENIED! 10 Pts! My favorite Zepplin song is any one that references the Lord of the Ring.


My favorite Beatle is Paul.

Grub: Ever try the victory44 perfect burger? "Mmmmmm! This is a tasty burger!" 10 pts.
Six things I could never do without
1. Good music... lovesongs for underdogs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0FaI0OTs8w

2. Strongbad emails

3. Tuna in a can

4. Ciff Bars

5. My toaster oven... i dislike microwaves.

6. Long awesome guitar intros... extended guitar solos

7. "Peace, Love, and Respect" <--Das one thing... think about it

Yeah, seven... immma gangsta! Dats how gangstas roll!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...being selfless... open... and determined to make the world a better place. :D

...burninating <-- See #2 above

Also... how many extra burgers did "Blister in the Sun" sell?

Also... how many extra burgers did "Melt with you" sell?

Also... how many extra trucks did "World That I Know" sell?

Also... how many extra bottles of perfume did "Fidelity" sell?

Also... how many extra tubs of yogurt did "Pompeii am Götterdämmerung" sell?

Also... how come we don't celebrate Tartan day more liberally ala St Patty's day? Ummm Jeeeez!

OK I'm done wasting time thinking.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working or intentionally finding excuses to be anti-social... wanting to do what everybody else is not doing... defying the paradigm of social acceptance. hahaha!

Ok fine... on a typical Friday night... I am wishing that you were here with me listening to a constant loop of "killing me softly" with your head in my lap. I work the magic with my fingas through your soft velvet hair... easing away all your pain, heartache, and misery... I make you feel that you are the only woman for me...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I cry everytime I watch this video... I AM WUSS. smh
You should message me if
...this video melts your heart...

...this video melts your soul...

...if you can do the "oooohhh" part for 'where is my mind'

...if you wanna come over and play strip Settlers of Catan. I will give wood for panties... eerrr you will give me panties for wood.

...if you don't have any tattoos. Well if they are really cool and wicked awesome and hurt a lot when you got them... I guess that would be OK.

...if you accept my vulgarity as humor.

...or if you scored more than 30 pts on my movie quiz.

OK, last chance! "Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle..." eerrrr I mean, my OKcupid page. :) 10pts!

Thanks again for stopping by and I hope I hear from you soon!
Sometimes life's OOOOOKay!
The two of us