30부천, South Korea
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My self-summary
Well, I just flew back to Korea and, boy, are my arms tired...

When I eat apples, I eat the whole thing; core and all.

In June, I went back to America after 16 months of teaching English as a second language in good, ole' Korea. I was home for seven months and I was miserable. Now I'm back!!

I'm a scrawny white dude in Seoul, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm a teacher. I'm not looking to live the 9-5 lifestyle. I'd rather gargle the pulpy remnants of my own testicles, after castrating myself with a rusty butter knife and mashing up the bloody accumulation in food processor, than work in another office. The world is way too big and interesting to waste away in a cubicle in Troy, New York for the rest of my life.

Staying in one place for too long makes me feel uncomfortable. I get bored easily and suffer from "the grass is greener" syndrome.

This song describes my dating life exceptionally well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWczDzmqVBI

And this song, too!
What I’m doing with my life
영거를 선상님 입니다

These days, not much. I spend a lot of time reading and being judgmental. Recently, I've been trying hard not to give a fuck while simultaneously attempting to improve my death metal growl.

When I'm not being a huge loser, I'm corrupting young minds in South Korea.
I’m really good at
Road rage, giving really bad directions, experiencing sleep paralysis and having panic attacks.

The first things people usually notice about me
The bloodstains, mostly.

That I'm serious, even though I'm not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books written by people who have killed themselves. Beat literature, serial killer biographies and dark comedies. I've read American Psycho about eight times and it's more hysterical with each reading.

Cult, Slasher, Horror, Dark Comedies. I love" bad" movies; anything with Ed Wood, fishing pole flying saucers and or Bella Lugosi is fine by me!

Cartoons, British comedies (Peep Show, The Inbetweeners, Spaced) and Asian game shows with absurd obstacle courses. If I could live in any alternate reality, it would absolutely be The Venture Bros. world.

Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Thrash Metal, Punk, Cow Punk, Horror Punk, New Wave, Synth Pop, Folk Rock, Classic Rock and Prog Rock.

Anything spicy. I'd try almost any culture's delicacy. To say I'm an adventurous eater is an understatement. I've eaten and thoroughly enjoyed dog soup and chicken anus. I'd also love to eat cat. Are there any good cat restaurants in Albany?
Six things I could never do without
Hot Sauce
Google Maps
A pen
Something to laugh about
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Things I could invent.

Where that stain came from.

What human flesh tastes like.

Why so many Koreans in Seoul can speak German.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing video games (poorly).

Hopefully, staying out until sunrise, Saturday, and then recalling vague and fuzzy details, while in the fetal position, on the floor of my bathroom a few hours later.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think Game of Thrones is overrated.
You should message me if
You have a bit more to say than, "hey" or "hi".

You thinkyou understand Neutral Milk Hotel's album "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea".

You think we'll have a similar moment to that scene in Wayne's World when Wayne sees Cassandra for the first time. Schwing!

한국어를 배웁니다!
The two of us