48 San Jose, United States
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My self-summary
I was with a group at an Indian restaurant. The food was Andhran and wickedly spicy hot (not my interest so much). There are those guys who love to take, have, and post photos (not me so much either), but we were jammed together some 10 of us asking a very sweet waitress to take multiple photos from multiple smartphones. At one point, we're all waiting, holding our positions and friendly smiley faces. She's fiddling with one of the phones trying to find the virtual button (no doubt confused about how to take the picture on it). She is so intent, and she is pressing apparently many buttons. Without breaking formation, I say to the group: "Hold on, she's sending a text."

The joke was funny but the reaction was funnier, because some of the guys laughed explosively (breaking formation) ... The timing was pretty spot on.

I like making people laugh. I am able to see different perspectives. I like to laugh too, often taking the perspective of one situation and overlaying it with something else (sometimes being a smart-ass, sometimes feeling absurd, sometimes even a pun, sometimes pretty silly, sometimes just goofy, sometimes bracingly shocking, sometimes very wry) ... I enjoy interesting unexpected clever juxtapositions. (It's often about timing ...)

I am looking for a relationship. For me, that means a deep emotional connection, a long-term prospect, and most likely a monogamous involvement.

I am attracted to men who are comfortable with themselves (empowered and actualized), emotionally they can and do express their feelings and set boundaries. They decide things and take responsibility for their actions. They care about others and are considerate of their own and other people's feelings.

I am drawn to men who are physically active.

I started indoor rock climbing at the end of 2015. I like it. It's fun to move up a wall (hopefully like a monkey). It's fun to challenge myself to harder routes. I like the process. I see it as a process, a practice.

It interests me to see skilled climbers efficiently navigate their bodies through space, seemingly holding themselves to the wall with fingers. It often feels like magic. How can they do it? They seem like they have unreal strength in their fingers or hands or forearms. They twist and reach, slide and shift, lunge and grasp, push and pull, rest and restart, (grunt and moan too) ...

Currently, I love tennis and martial arts more, but climbing has potential. Climbing also has a lot of technique (some of that magic). There's a depth of knowledge and wisdom to learn and perfect (or at least try to). There's tangible feedback in efficient movement along or up the wall OR not figuring out a problem and just getting stuck, arms pumped out, and ultimately a body popped off the wall.

There's a saying in martial arts. Learn one thing to know 1000. Climbing has the kind of complexity to allow for this kind of learning and experience. That is fun for me.

I am drawn to personal growth (including say spiritual growth), learning new things, developing my emotional understanding, and expanding my psychological perspectives.

I am interested in breathing deeper, moving lighter, connecting easier, smiling and laughing more, holding my own counsel, managing my energy (whatever kind) as I invest in things that matter to me or are simply fun for me, ...

From the outside, I can feel serious, because there is that in me. However, emotionally I am set at above neutral: I tend toward optimistic, happy, and peaceful. I am empathetic too. In the past, I have wanted to help people (particularly trying to give perspective or insight). Nowadays, I am embracing that personal growth mostly works when driven from within (and has its own timing). I still have great compassion for people and situations, and help when possible (for the right balance, I try to limit it to when it can be the most effective).
What I’m doing with my life
I am trying to understand well what excites me, and I am trying to do those things.

I am drawn to health topics and healing modalities. I tend to sink deep into interests.

I worked for many years as a software engineer. I am semi-retired now. For me that means I am "retired" now and enjoying the free time while I am younger. However, the "semi" means that I may work some time in the future (if and when I need money).
I’m really good at
understanding others' emotions and motivations. I naturally try to imagine others' perspectives and world views. I can and have helped people solve problems amongst themselves and with systems (I am particularly good at debugging systems -- even those with which I am unfamiliar -- because I conceptualize well and I can believe the impossible for just long enough.)
The first things people usually notice about me
Sometimes I can seem tough. While it's true that I can have an edge to me, it's only a part of me. From practicing martial arts this can show even more.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Name of the Wind (by Patrick Rothfuss), Chapterhouse Dune (by Frank Herbert), Born to Run (by Christopher McDougall), Mastery (by George Leonard), The Gifts of Imperfection (by Brene Brown), Mindset (by Carol S. Dweck), Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It (by Gary Taubes), Ender's Shadow (by Orson Scott Card),

Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Powder, Phenomenon, Terminator, Aliens, Beautiful Thing, Get Real, A Room with a View, Shelter, Midnight Run, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,

TV Series: Downton Abbey, Orange is the New Black, Sense 8, Dr Who, The Good Wife, Suits, Emily Owens MD, The Newsroom (Aaron Sorkin is cool.), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Joss Whedon has a talent for helping the audience connect emotionally with his characters as he tells his story), Design with the Other 90%, Up with Chris Hayes (I find him sexy - a combination of cute with smart or maybe smart with a touch of cute - but he mentioned on the show that he has a baby so he's taken, DAMN)

Music (Songs that I like): First Day of My Life (by Bright Eyes), Save Me (by Aimee Mann), Fidelity (by Regina Spektor), Creep (by Radiohead), Soul Eclipse/If I Could Write (by Sam Phillips), I Will Follow You Into the Dark (by Death Cab for Cutie), Human (by The Killers), Con te Partiro (by Andrea Bocelli), Sail (by Awolnation), Imagine (John Lennon), Everybody Talks (Neon Trees), Primadonna (by Marina and the Diamonds), Titanium (David Guetta), Next to Me (Emeli Sande), Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.

Food: Ribeye Steak, Green (and Purple) Grapes, Watermelon juice, Spareribs, Green Tea, Avocadoes (& Guacamole), Blueberries, Quinoa, Purple Potatoes, Brown Rice, ...
The six things I could never do without
family and friends,
some kind of physical practice (say martial arts or tennis),
deep conversation,
tasty food,
freedom to be,
learning and growing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to move well (in tennis, in martial arts, and probably metaphorically in life).
On a typical Friday night I am
relaxing at home.
You should message me if
you see something in my profile, and you think we might be a match

OR, if we do not feel like a romantic match, but you believe we might be good or great friends, please message too. I am happy to cultivate friendship with those who are interested. For the longest time, developing community was more vital to me than anything romantic or sexual.