49San Jose, United States
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My self-summary
I like to learn new things. The greatest thing about this is it keeps me interested each day. I enjoy learning even small things -- this bit of perspective keeps me smiling, laughing, and happy.

I like physically active men. I have my own physically demanding interests: martial arts, tennis, indoor rock climbing ... I like learning technique and building my skill level and fluency in my body. The physical activity keeps me happy too.

I am interested in emotionally intelligent men. I generally have been around smart minds, so I appreciate the benefits that intelligence brings: creativity, ideas, and conversation. However, emotional intelligence is a separate thing (you can be smart, but not emotionally smart or mature or even functional).

It's natural to be focused on your own emotional state. Some guys are also focused on other people feeling good (being well) too. I'm interested in these guys who have this giving sensibility and generosity of spirit.

martial arts.

I practiced for about 8 years (classical style shotokan karate).

I like the ideas on fighting and life (philosophical insights) as much as the physical training. The idea of needing to train your spirit (and character too). Even if you don't have to ever physically fight in life, there will be times when you need to stand up for yourself (or others). The melding of training to build your martial technical skills (how to punch or kick or put those together in various combinations adjusting to an opponent to stop that opponent) and developing the emotional, psychological, spiritual foundation to be able to marshal yourself when necessary (or you deem necessary).

For example, most gay men don't have a choice, they have to stand up for themselves at some point or they live a life hiding. This can be as simple as accepting oneself when others (family or society) won't. Sometimes it is standing up to your internalized ideas absorbed from external unfair unkind sources -- so as odd as it sounds you may have to stand up to yourself.

The cool thing is that after you've stood up for yourself it can be easier (my experience it that it just does become easier and easier).

I am interested in men who understand this and.


I have a good friend who likes to grow flowers. He offered me some of his extra seeds. I smiled and laughed; I told him that I only grow things that I can eat. We talked about how we can eat some flowers (dandelions, yes the weed, you can eat the yellow flower ...)

I enjoy growing things that I can eat. There's something satisfying about harvesting a tomato or some zucchini or swiss chard (these are the easier one's to grow :-).

I enjoy going to Master Gardener talks. It's fascinating to me to hear advice about how grow things more effectively.

It takes a different kind of timing and energy. Nature has it say. One of my other sisters said that she doesn't have the patience. It can be as easy as setting it up and letting it go (just add water -- like those freeze-dried meals).


I love tennis.

I love trying to figure out different ways to hit volleys. Why talk about the volley? It's sobering. Some people are good in the forecourt (near the net), most aren't.

The variables affect you more (than on groundstrokes): your distance from the net and location on the court (in doubles, you'll be on one side), ball speed, ball spin (top, underspin, flat, sidespin, combinations of those), ball height, ball rising or lowering, direction the ball is coming from ...

Some decent volleyers try to use one basic technique for all volleys. This tends to break down.

The best volleyers get to the point when the body takes over, it responds to the cues and volleys without you thinking of what it's doing (same holds for martial arts technique when you're fighting). You often will have a strategy, volley short and low to this player (he's too athletic and it's doubles so he'll reach the ball, but short and low forces him forward and often out of position ...) or this other player who crowds the baseline and is really consistent with topspin but gets jammed on deep volleys (hit it firm and deep catch him wanting to shift his body back - he gets himself stuck).

Tennis fascinates me. There's so much variety in how people play.

I like to win, but I am only somewhat competitive.

I like to apply a fighting spirit and analytical mind to try to figure out how to beat an opponent in singles or, with a partner, beat doubles opponents.

The challenge is to figure out what strategies and tactics to employ to win points, either with winning shots or by eliciting errors ...

The tools available are my tennis skills and understanding of the opponents weaknesses and strengths.

Some people you can just push them hard, and their shots break down. Either push them with pace or spin or both. Or depth or angle or placement or all.

Some players are excellent counterpunchers. They'll take your well-struck aggressive shots and spit them back ... Sometimes you have give these guys less pace.

Other players will attack you, and you need to either be able to neutralize or defend against their attempts.
What I’m doing with my life
I am trying to understand well what excites me, and I am trying to do those things.

I am drawn to health topics and healing modalities. I tend to sink deep into interests.

I worked for many years as a software engineer. I am semi-retired now. For me that means I am "retired" now and enjoying the free time while I am younger. However, the "semi" means that I may work some time in the future (if and when I need money).
I’m really good at
understanding others' emotions and motivations. I naturally try to imagine others' perspectives and world views. I can and have helped people solve problems amongst themselves and with systems (I am particularly good at debugging systems -- even those with which I am unfamiliar -- because I conceptualize well and I can believe the impossible for just long enough.)
The first things people usually notice about me
Sometimes I can seem tough. While it's true that I can have an edge to me, it's only a part of me. From practicing martial arts this can show even more.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Name of the Wind (by Patrick Rothfuss), Chapterhouse Dune (by Frank Herbert), Born to Run (by Christopher McDougall), Mastery (by George Leonard), The Gifts of Imperfection (by Brene Brown), Mindset (by Carol S. Dweck), Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It (by Gary Taubes), Ender's Shadow (by Orson Scott Card),

Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Powder, Phenomenon, Terminator, Aliens, Beautiful Thing, Get Real, A Room with a View, Shelter, Midnight Run, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,

TV Series: Downton Abbey, Orange is the New Black, Sense 8, Dr Who, The Good Wife, Suits, Emily Owens MD, The Newsroom (Aaron Sorkin is cool.), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Joss Whedon has a talent for helping the audience connect emotionally with his characters as he tells his story), Design with the Other 90%, Up with Chris Hayes (I find him sexy - a combination of cute with smart or maybe smart with a touch of cute - but he mentioned on the show that he has a baby so he's taken, DAMN)

Music (Songs that I like): First Day of My Life (by Bright Eyes), Save Me (by Aimee Mann), Fidelity (by Regina Spektor), Creep (by Radiohead), Soul Eclipse/If I Could Write (by Sam Phillips), I Will Follow You Into the Dark (by Death Cab for Cutie), Human (by The Killers), Con te Partiro (by Andrea Bocelli), Sail (by Awolnation), Imagine (John Lennon), Everybody Talks (Neon Trees), Primadonna (by Marina and the Diamonds), Titanium (David Guetta), Next to Me (Emeli Sande), Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.

Food: Ribeye Steak, Green (and Purple) Grapes, Watermelon juice, Spareribs, Green Tea, Avocadoes (& Guacamole), Blueberries, Quinoa, Purple Potatoes, Brown Rice, ...
Six things I could never do without
family and friends,
some kind of physical practice (say martial arts or tennis),
deep conversation,
tasty food,
freedom to be,
learning and growing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to move well (in tennis, in martial arts, and probably metaphorically in life).
On a typical Friday night I am
relaxing at home.
You should message me if
you see something in my profile, and you think we might be a match

OR, if we do not feel like a romantic match, but you believe we might be good or great friends, please message too. I am happy to cultivate friendship with those who are interested. For the longest time, developing community was more vital to me than anything romantic or sexual.
The two of us