My car is named after a character in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.
Really, I'm just looking for someone willing to do household tasks for me while my nail polish is still wet.
My 93 year old grandmother recently shamed me when I told her my love life was non-existent. Gotta make Bubby proud, so here we are.
I love my job, but it means I go to bed early most nights. At this stage of my life, I feel accomplished when I make it past midnight on a weekend.
Note: IT'S SUMMER VACATION, BABY! Don't ask me about the amazing summer school course I'm teaching unless you want me to talk your ear off.
Dogs and cats generally think I'm awesome.
I give killer back and head scratches.
I'm usually pretty well informed about the day's news (which lately means I'm often on the verge of hysterics or vomiting).
My nails are always fierce as fuuuuck.
I watch a lot of Jeopardy, some nights I'm downright impressive.
My students don't think I'm completely out of touch, so that's kind of cool.
Red lipstick. Purple lipstick. Black lipstick.
Blue nail polish. Green nail polish. Black nail polish.
My best friend from college told me I'm "one of the most distinct looking fuckers (she's) ever met", so there's that, I guess.
Currently rereading - In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Currently watching - Glow, True Blood
The Given Day/Live By Night/World Gone By/Mystic River/Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane
Oryx and Crake/The Year of the Flood/MaddAddam/The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Harry Potter and the... by J.K. Rowling
Popular Crime by Bill James
11/22/1963 by Stephen King
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
The Century Trilogy by Ken Follett
The Virgin Suicides/Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls
It's a Wonderful Life
I Love You, Phillip Morris
Midnight in Paris
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
In & Out
Six Feet Under
Masters of Sex
Death Cab for Cutie
The Beach Boys
Twenty One Pilots
pop-punk & ska from when I was in high school (early 00's)
anything on the hip-hop throwback radio station
really good pasta
vegetables: cucumber, tomato*, zucchini, mushroom, eggplant, etc.
*yes, I know.
2. dogs, as a species
4. a comfortable, well made bed -- NO fucking top sheet.
5. the internet
6. a really great book
Note: I've had this profile (off and on) for years and this list has never changed. It's a pretty legitimate approximation of what I rely on for comfort and calm.
What life would have been like had I had the misfortune to be born in a time before the advent of modern optometry - without corrective eyewear, I'm a real worthless piece of shit.
Also - sonder: noun. "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."
You're an eloquent wordsmith.
You want to be fed and read to.
You want a book recommendation!
Don't just say "hi".