29Revere, United States
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My self-summary
I'd much rather know your Hogwarts House than your Meyers-Briggs type.

My car is named after a character in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.

Really, I'm just looking for someone willing to do household tasks for me while my nail polish is still wet.

My 93 year old grandmother recently shamed me when I told her my love life was non-existent. Gotta make Bubby proud, so here we are.
What I’m doing with my life
I am a high school English teacher: molding young minds, shaping the future, attempting to jackhammer the appropriate usage of there/their/they're into evolving brains..
I love my job, but it means I go to bed early most nights. At this stage of my life, I feel accomplished when I make it past midnight on a weekend.
Note: IT'S SUMMER VACATION, BABY! Don't ask me about the amazing summer school course I'm teaching unless you want me to talk your ear off.
I’m really good at
I read quite fast.
Dogs and cats generally think I'm awesome.
I give killer back and head scratches.
I'm usually pretty well informed about the day's news (which lately means I'm often on the verge of hysterics or vomiting).
My nails are always fierce as fuuuuck.
I watch a lot of Jeopardy, some nights I'm downright impressive.
My students don't think I'm completely out of touch, so that's kind of cool.
The first things people usually notice about me
Red hair, blue eyes...but if I'm being realistic, probably my décolletage.
Red lipstick. Purple lipstick. Black lipstick.
Blue nail polish. Green nail polish. Black nail polish.

My best friend from college told me I'm "one of the most distinct looking fuckers (she's) ever met", so there's that, I guess.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Currently reading - Raven: The Untold Story of the Rev. Jim Jones and His People by John Jacobs and Tim Reiterman
Currently rereading - In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Currently watching - Glow, True Blood

The Given Day/Live By Night/World Gone By/Mystic River/Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane
Oryx and Crake/The Year of the Flood/MaddAddam/The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Harry Potter and the... by J.K. Rowling
Popular Crime by Bill James
11/22/1963 by Stephen King
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
The Century Trilogy by Ken Follett
The Virgin Suicides/Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

It's a Wonderful Life
I Love You, Phillip Morris
Almost Famous
Midnight in Paris
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Reality Bites
In & Out
crime documentaries

Mad Men
The Wire
Six Feet Under
Boardwalk Empire
Peaky Blinders
Breaking Bad
Bob's Burgers
Masters of Sex

Regina Spektor
Ben Folds
Brand New
The Beatles
Death Cab for Cutie
Joni Mitchell
The Temptations
The Beach Boys
Twenty One Pilots
Childish Gambino
pop-punk & ska from when I was in high school (early 00's)
anything on the hip-hop throwback radio station

really good pasta
potato skins
turkey chili
fresh bread
vegetables: cucumber, tomato*, zucchini, mushroom, eggplant, etc.

*yes, I know.
Six things I could never do without
1. my cats, Danvers and Spaz. My most darling sunshines/consistent pains in the ass.
2. dogs, as a species
3. trees...!
4. a comfortable, well made bed -- NO fucking top sheet.
5. the internet
6. a really great book

Note: I've had this profile (off and on) for years and this list has never changed. It's a pretty legitimate approximation of what I rely on for comfort and calm.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What my favorite books would be like if they focused on a different character.

What life would have been like had I had the misfortune to be born in a time before the advent of modern optometry - without corrective eyewear, I'm a real worthless piece of shit.

Lesson plans...

Also - sonder: noun. "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."
On a typical Friday night I am
tired, but open to suggestions? I look forward to my Friday afternoon nap all week, every week - the quality of said nap determines the rambunctiousness of my Friday night plans.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If I sing, or talk to my cats in a silly voice in front of you, it means I feel comfortable with you around. If I act out songs from Disney movies or musicals in front of you, you're really in.
You should message me if
You like the same TV shows and want to discuss them in detail. Or if you want to watch one of my favorite shows for the first time and let me live vicariously through you. Or if you want to watch a documentary about some strange and violent crime.

You're an eloquent wordsmith.

You want to be fed and read to.

You want a book recommendation!

Don't just say "hi".
The two of us