"Q: what did the egg say to the other egg?
A: have a eggsellent day
i hope you laugh out loud and tell your friends this joke. if your friends dont get the joke explain the joke. IT WILL BE FUNNY"
Second favorite joke from the list
"Q: if you go to the ham contest wat will the man say
A: you won last year you are not alowed"
My answer to your first question:
* Celebrity I most resemble, according to sweet, charming, perceptive ex-girlfriends: Mark Ruffalo
* Celebrity I most resemble, according to sweet, charming, perceptive women on OKCupid: Seth MacFarlane
* Celebrity I most resemble, according to mean ex-girlfriends (and a few more mean people on this site): the Del Taco Guy (pointer for those who were not in LA during the early 2000s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXHlynsRLLc)
I'm looking to meet someone who
1) is curious about the world, and always wants to learn new things
2) is mostly sweet-natured but has been known to have a temper (but yet does not throw temper tantrums)
3) is cool with going to the used book store and not just the shoe store (is there such a thing as a purse store?)
4) wants to go hike Topanga Canyon in the afternoon, get all dirty and sweaty, come home, and then dress up to go see the symphony at Disney Concert Hall that night
Also note that studies show that TWENTY percent of women who get married state that they did NOT like their husband when they first met him. So if you don't like me, keep an open mind because there is still a 20% chance that we will wind up married to each other. Don't worry, it will be fun!
My answer to your third question:
Why am I still single? Short answer: I've been close a few times but just haven't met the right person yet. Could be you.
***Note: To any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects, if you want to use my profile or pictures in any form or forum *** go right ahead, institutions or individuals, be my guest. KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT ****
My mission is to create an awesome, world-changing legal website. You know what Amazon did for books, and Okcupid did for dating and wikipedia did for figuring out "what's the capital of that one country?" I want to do that for the law. Sounds dorky? Well, to you maybe. I think it sounds awesome.
TL;DR: I'm on a mission. It's taking longer than I thought it would. It's hard. I'm more "driven" than "content" at the moment.
If that doesn't work out, it's nice to know that I can fall back on my first career as a bodybuilder and start a bounty hunting company where I capture ne'er do wells with my kung fu skills and weapons of my own devising.
Knowing the difference between:
(1) "you're" and "your";
(2) "it's" and "its"; and
(3) "they're," "their," and "there."
[Note: I don't normally make a point of emphasizing my knowledge of basic grammar, but given how many of you mention the issue, I thought I'd better address it.]
see also http://i.imgur.com/9wguDuj.jpg
Swimming butterfly. Ok, this one is more aspirational to be honest. I'm still learning this one but I'm getting better.
So I think I'll go with that: the first thing people notice--or at least the first thing that sweet, perceptive people who live 6000 miles away (and who may or may not be internet scammers) notice-- is that I am very sunshine.
"This is as real as a baby deer calling out for his mother. But his mother won’t be coming home anytime soon, because she is drunk in a bar somewhere."
Cantaloupes? Mangoes? You're kidding right? You really like those more than Nectarines?
[**UPDATE -- Due to overwhelming popular demand, I am RECONSIDERING my position on mangoes (and in response to several inquiries, yes it is "mangoes" with an "e" even though that may look weird). ** ]
Favorite music: Ok, in addition to the usual stuff that every white guy lists (e.g. Black Keys and Rolling Stones and Stevie Wonder and the Killers and Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen and Weird Al Yankovic) how about: Oceanlab, J.S. Bach, Kaskade, Puccini, Steve Reich, Corelli, Tiesto.
Favorite untranslatable words:
Kalsarikannit (Finnish): "to get drunk home alone in your underpants, with no intention of leaving the house."
Tartle (Scottish): "the act of hesitating while introducing someone because you’ve forgotten their name."
Ilunga (Tshiluba -- Southwest Congo): "a person who is ready to forgive and forget any first abuse, tolerate it the second time, but never forgive nor tolerate on the third offense."
Jayus (Indonesian): “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.”
Favorite pickup line (enacted in a role play):
You: "hey, do you have any overdue library books?"
Me: "No, why?"
You: "well that's funny, because I was just noticing that you have FINE stamped across your forehead"
Me: "Riiiiiiiight. Cool. Listen, I, uh, have to go to the bathroom. . ."
You: [dejectedly] "Ok, sure, have a good night . . ."
Me: "Just kidding, how's it going?"
2) A stack of notecards and pen so I can write down ideas
3) My books (I have about a thousand -- and that's after I got rid of a bunch when I moved)
4) Barbells and a squat rack
5) Trader Joe's Tomato Basil Hummus [UPDATE -- recently Trader Joe's SPICY Hummus too]
6) Sitting around cracking wise with a cool posse
That I am starting to think that I am the only person in Los Angeles who does not spend time in a tiger cage or go tandem skydiving ;)
Going to see music (could be classical, or weird crazy avant-garde electronic, or Hollywood Bowl something or other, I'm trying get myself out to see more bands),
Doing the assignment for a Coursera programming class I'm taking (bonus points if you know what coursera is without resorting to google -- double points if you have actually taken a coursera class)
Going to the gym, then relaxing at home, grilling something on the barbecue and watching Rick and Morty.
Also, I kind of like that song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.
1) are a mostly, upbeat, positive, curious person and to you a relationship means two people supporting each other, standing by each other and taking on the world...
2) want a guy who will walk on the curbside when he's walking with you...
3) think the idea of going to a community college to see chamber music or to go to an art opening sound MUCH better than going to a club...
4) Are not super in to eating vegetarian/vegan. I don't mean any offense -- some of my best friends are vegetarian/vegan, it's just that I love grilling steak ...
You are open to:
1) exchanging a few emails without it turning into a pen pal type thing; then, if that goes well,
2) talking on the phone/texting; then, if that goes well,
3) I don't know, call me crazy but how about we each agree to give up a whole hour of our lives to actually MEET in PERSON in a public place on a low-key no pressure DATE, where we are each on our best behavior and try to clean up nice and be charming.
Note that this first DATE can and indeed should be short, like meet for a drink, but it should still be a date and not a pre-screening interview try-out for a date. Also, I'm kind of surprised I need to say this but meeting for coffee is not a date -- meeting for coffee is something you do on a job interview. A date is a nice relaxing few minutes where two people sit down to unwind a little bit from the day, experience the pleasure of each others' company and have some laughs. If there's a spark, then great, see where it goes. If not, well, then maybe you made a new friend. And who couldn't use more friends?