ellensparkleyes
41 Des Moines, United States
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ellensparkleyes
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My self-summary
i'm not looking for intimate physical contact from anyone. but we can still be friends, right? the reason i ask is that one person vehemently challenged this notion. others have been less forceful in asking, even though there is a 'looking for friends option', why i bother signing on to a 'dating' site. given whatever whim pops into my head, the answer might be any of the following: 1) because Google asked me if i meant this place when i was researching okapis. 2) i lost a bet. 3) ennui and curiosity. (sidenote: curiosity didn't kill the cat~~a blunt object, poison, or a hungry critter with sharper teeth and a dominating spirit did the deed. /end sidenote).

the true truth is that i find people interesting. not that everything interesting is particularly good or useful. it's like saying an outbreak of ebola is exciting. which it is--just not in a terribly fun way. yet still, i find people are interesting in a good way quite often. even when that's not the case, one may have the opportunity to learn a little from such random/not-so-random encounters. enjoy!

i have two decent-sized tattoos, neither of which is a tramp stamp nor are they in places most people will ever see them. the intent is to get at least three more. and, yes, i'm feeling a little badass because of them. go me.

if you're keen like that, you've noticed i use very few capital letters. the simple explanation is that i'm not a capitalist. i am, however, a horrible punster who has a love/hate relationship with money. i hate that it's necessary, but try going accross state lines without committing a felony or being hobo without it. (by the way--money is not the root of all evil. nope, that honor goes to an excess of greed and lack of empathy. the application of money can do as much good for the world and/or humanity as it does harm. go chew on that for a while).

my internal monolog runs nonstop. please note: i said monolog, not dialog. the latter would just be unsettling. i say what i think. however, due to having a few decent internal filters, i don't say everything i think. even so, occasional bytes of eccentricity do escape here and there.

i am ephemeral, breathing, and slightly sane.
What I’m doing with my life
packing it up in a piñata and smacking it around until it explodes. it's more random and messier this way, but my dogs think it's fun.

the force is with me.
I’m really good at
sass. silliness. soliloquies.

tossing electricity-emitting emperors over railings into vast pits.

waning philosophic.
The first things people usually notice about me
my hamster hat. also, via my newly developed telepathic skills, i can tell you're ogling my boobs through my nunly habit with your xray vision. quit it right now.

i am Jill's crescendo.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
you could just assume i like shiny things and move on to the next section. but, if you have some time and brain cells to kill, here is an incomplete list:

books--On the Road, The Last Unicorn, Brave New World, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy inseries, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series, Blond Bombshell, Catcher In the Rye, the A Song of Ice and Fire series (where the hell's the next one already!?!?), Watership Down, To Kill a Mockingbird, Wicked, Everything Is Illuminated, All Quiet on the Western Front, Black Beauty, the Chronicles of Narnia series, Farenheit 451, On Writing, Harry Potter series, Sleeping With the Enemy (but the movie blows), the Odd Thomas series, White Fang and Call of the Wild, books by Leon Uris and James Michenor and Christopher Moore and David Sedaris and Kurt Vonnegut, I Like You by Amy Sedaris, Webster's and other dictionaries, and various encyclopedias.
subset: magazines: Mental Floss Magazine, Wired, Geek Magazine, Discover Magazine, National Geographic.

movies--The Crow, Serenity, The Cornetto Trilogy, Run Lola Run, I Wish I Was Here, Avatar (eco- and alternative religion-friendly? hot damn! :p), The Last Unicorn, Snatch, Bladerunner, the Full Monty, Vampire Hunter D, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, Igby Goes Down, the Perks of Being a Wallflower,
Up, Donnie Darko, Garden State, Tank Girl (what?), Hero, Children of Men, Clerks, the original Star Wars trilogy, Closer, the LOTR trilogy, Salaam Bombay, Silverado, Army of Darkness, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, Kick Ass, Il Postino, True Grit (the remake), Everything Is Illuminated, the Transporter (but only the first one), Persepolis, Amelie, Go, the Bourne Identity movies, Scott Pilgrim vs the World, the Perks of Being a Wallflower, Romeo Must Die, Fight Club, (holy hickies~~are you seriously still reading this?), My Life in Ruins, Charlie Chaplin and Marx Brothers movies, Harold & Kumar, Requiem for a Dream, Despicable Me, A Knight's Tale, Boondock Saints, and White Oleander.
subset: tv: Animaniacs, Spaced, MST3K, Firefly, Caprica, Battlestar Galactica (the new one), BBC News, Game of Thrones, Venture Brothers, Robot Chicken, BBT, Awkward.
*edit: i quit watching tv.*

Music--Junkpoet, Only, Soapbox Prophets, the Flaming Lips, Anti Flag, In This Moment, I Am the Avalanche, Cleo's Apt, Sick of It All, Jem (not the cartoon which is truly truly outrageous), Frou Frou, Days and Daze, the Eels, Massive Attack, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Royksopp, The Pretty Reckless, House of Large Sizes, Polar Bear Club, Andrew WK, Death Cab for Cutie, Dinosaur Jr, Letlive., Great Lake Swimmers, Gravity Kills, the Crombies, Delerium, Raveonettes, Mastadon, Chuck Ragan, Modest Mouse, The Dead Weather, the Pogues, Zero 7, Tracy Chapman, Leftöver Crack, KFMDM, Atmosphere, soundtracks (the Crow, Run Lola Run, Garden State, Trainspotting, and Go,) L7, Sia, the Dead Milkmen, St Etienne, Oasis, the Gorillaz, the Strokes, the Used, Big Head Todd & the Monsters, the Killers, Flobots, Medicine, the Cocteau Twins, Tilly and the Wall, Lykke Li, Jonathan Coulton, Tenacious D, Green Day, Florence + the Machine, Willie Nelson (what?), the XX, Mumford & Sons, Whitestripes, Billygoat (even though they've seemed to have dropped off the face of the Earth,) Daft Punk, Feist, Icky Blossoms, Franz Ferdinand.
subset: radio: NPR's All Things Considered, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, This American Life, the Moth Radio Hour, and A Prarie Home Companion).
subset: musicals: Les Miserables, Lion King~~have seen
more than those two, but, by far, they are my favorites. i
don't usually go for what's popular (in many of life's
categories, not just musicals), since some of that can be
homogenized to blandness. but these have fantastic scores,
choreography, and staging.

i am Jack's human genome project.

food--coffee in general (beverages count), real chai and other teas, clean drinking water is tasty and refreshing. i am an omnivore, just like most people (although most mistakenly use the term carnivore. but that's a minor peeve), bing (!) cherries, veggies that are raw and/or aren't overcooked, and wine~~lots and lots of AA-disapproved wine. ha ha.
The six things I could never do without
*velcro~~for lining my hamster's cage.
*snowballs~~for a game of wintertime fetch with the dogs.
*a moving van~~well, it's probably best that you not know for what it's intended, if you get my drift. wink wink, nudge nudge.
*tofurkey~~when the words 'fuck you' just don't adequately express how i really feel about half the inlaws.
*brains~~because without them, i can't math.
*dandelions~~prettiest weeds i ever did see.

and {insert drumroll here}

*whip cream in a pie tin~~nicer than mace, right in the face!

wait~~that's more than six things, you say? yeah, i know; blame the rebel inside who snickers at your quantitative rules.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
life, the universe and all the rot not limited to, but including: shiny. thespian cars. maps. spark plugs. rat-a-tat-tat. what color to paint the ceiling. was Yoda semi-subtly hitting on Luke before the green guy went over to the great Jedi in the sky? bears. 42! if dogs had everted lips and opposable thumbs, would that change their intimate olfactory activities? alliteration. travelling. geological formations. geothermal heating. i love lamp. solar and wind energy. okapis! the first of May. wanting my own alternate dimension. the depressing yet factual fact that i haven't any nunly habits, telepathic skills, alternate dimensions, or hamsters/hampster hats.

i am turbulent, taxed, and twitterpated.
On a typical Friday night I am
marking my territory. grrrr grrrr.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
when i first encountered emoticons, i scoffed at their cutesiness. not long after, i realized their value in online communications.

i wonder why people insert various references and wonder who will "get" them? after all, most of the references are quite easily researched by entering them in to a search engine. the trick would be to find the corresponding Rule 34 versions...

often, when looking at individuals, i imagine what they look like when they're older and then wonder how accurate my guesses are, knowing that I'll probably not see most of them when they're at the ages they will be in my mind.

what vehicle you do or don't drive is something i wouldn't give a rat's ass about. particularly because i'm not in the habit of carving off hunks of rodent posteriors; but, also, because, as long as you're a functioning adult who can get themselves where they need to be, it's all good (and much safer for rats).

i am orbital, cosmic, and nanorobotic.
You should message me if
you find me funny and charming instead of frightening and churlish. :~D

ps. i wonder why there's no category for things we (of the collective ilk, never the 'royal we') are bad at. so, here's a short list of mine:

1) genocide.
2) homocide.
3) herbicide.
4) leaving my lover.
5) loving my lever.
6) taking a compliment.
7) shucking clams.
8) shutting up about hamsters.

and so it goes...
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