elppinyriah
27 Solihull, United Kingdom
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elppinyriah
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My self-summary
It was pretty awkward when, at the age of 26, I hid in the McDonald's ball pit because my mom wouldn'tr buy me two happy meals. She reported me missing and eventually the cashier on duty was charged and convicted of kidnapping and murdering me. Imagine everyone's surprise when, months later, I emerged from the ball pit, a being of pure piss.
What I’m doing with my life
Worrying
I’m really good at
Those little puzzles you get in Christmas crackers
The first things people usually notice about me
My hair is way too much it isn't even funny any more
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I really like The Matrix even though it isn't that great
Gladiator is a fun film
The Lord of the Rings films are special
Die Hard is the best Christmas film
Spiderman 2 (with Toby Maguire) is the best superhero film

Linkin Park will always be my favourite band
A soft spot for Metric/Yeah Yeah Yeahs/Placebo
Recently been through a very late Blink-182 phase and am now in a bad hip-hop phase

Books are cool but I don't read as much as I'd like to
Haruki Murakami is a neat author
Would like recommendations for sci-fi
Also tell me where to start with Discworld (and Pratchett in general)
The six things I could never do without
Internet
Pizza
My cats
A sleeping bag
Hair ties
My glasses
I spend a lot of time thinking about
You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.
You should message me if
You like having conversations with people about things I don't know I'm not going to tell you what to do
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