Billy Mays here with another fantastic product!
Have you been looking for the most awesome person to ever exist? Well look no further average consumer, for I'm bringing you the new and improved Erik!
"My friends never do anything fun!" Good news wary traveler, Erik is always down to do fun and exciting things. Want to randomly go to six flags tomorrow? Perfect, Erik comes equipped with a season pass. Shit, that laser tag tournament starts in an hour? Better whip out that portal gun to get us across town, we've got some 7th grader ass to whoop.
"My boyfriend is too short!" Shit son, the Irish god of luck Bono is really laying it on thick for you today. Erik comes out of the box at a height of 6'5", and [clearly coincidentally] makes for a fantastic big spoon when a cuddling is on the roster.
Are your current friend(s) or significant other(s) boring you with terrible tastes in TV shows and movies, or just not supporting your addiction to both? Good thing Erik is a terrible influence and is into a bunch of fantastic tv shows and loves going to the movies(see below specifications for more info).
All this salesman up selling aside, if you get an Erik today, a guarantee will be made. A guarantee of genuinely fun times, ridiculous hijinks, and severely cheesy comedy, no matter what relationship level you choose. I mean come on, this long ass intro should be proof enough!
Oh and my huge dick ahuehuehuehue, this section wouldn't be complete without a penis size joke.
Pulp Fiction(this is my number 1), Wayne's World, V for Vendetta, Star Wars (original trilogy), the Evil Dead series(which i have a tattoo of ash on my arm), Back to the Future trilogy, Office Space, Vanilla Sky, Anchorman, and many, many more.
Shows wise: I used to be on that LOST dick, thought it was the best show ever, but recently I've started watching House of Cards and True Detective...and jesus, they are so beautiful. I'm also a huge fan of Breaking bad, Parks and Rec, American Horror Story, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, It's Always Sunny, and How I Met Your Mother. I also currently own a green man suit, dick towel, and a copy of the bro code. Obsessed? Possibly. Some of my other newer shows of interest include Sherlock and Doctor Who.
Music? I like a whole random mish mash of stuff, but I'm mainly in to Alternative and Electronic mucis, RHCP, Airborne Toxic Event, AWOLNation, etc... Books, I really don't read that much but the few that I'm a big fan of The Walking Dead comics, The Road, and World War Z. Food...I'm a picky eater with some things but love food, and love to try new things.
But, yeah, feel free to message me to get to know me better, or if you want to hang out, go on a date, etc... Don't be offended if I don't respond to "asl?" because, for one it's already on my profile, and two it's shit...unless you are being ironic, in which case it's still really shit.