32Woodbury, United States
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My self-summary
Before we get into anything how about some jokes?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

The Holocaust..........

What's worse than the Holocaust?

Nothing, it's the Holocaust.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

What I’m doing with my life
I am the Hank Hill of tea.
I’m really good at
Really awkward charm.

Walking into a house that has dogs and immediately being identified as the Alpha male.

Coaching employees with a mix of education and psychological warfare.
The first things people usually notice about me
I was once referred to as a blur of light and beard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
1984, Animal Farm, Anthem, The Blue Germ, One-Minute Manager, Ip Man, Phantom of the Opera, 30 rock, Monk, Penn and Teller Bullshit, Family Guy, Cleveland Show, Archer, House, Synth Pop, Impressionist classical music, latin jazz, a well seasoned steak, pork chops, rice and beans anything that has adobo on it.
Six things I could never do without

My glasses

Decent friends

Rare steaks

Good jokes

Cheap scotch
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Terrible pick-up lines.

Hey, did it hurt?
When you fell from Heaven......SATAN!
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually standing in front of my store wishing for the sweet release of death.
Or closing time, whichever.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like a firm slap across the face.
You should message me if
If you enjoy horrible jokes. I don't mean jokes that aren't funny I mean jokes that make you feel like a horrible person for laughing at them.

If you like big men, just want to hang out, or just a cool person. Or need a little schadenfreude in your life.
The two of us