ATTENTION: Hi! My status has changed. While I had joined here to take surveys, and practice writing both humorous and serious entries, I now seek friendship or more in the Providence area.
It's so lonely out here, and everywhere. Everybody's got a list of qualifiers and disqualifers that leave no l room for nuance or exceptions. Yes, I have some too, but they're mostly not absolute (except for my being against child molestation, right wing demagogues, and, bigotry in general).
Well, there's nothing better than love, real love, free from arbitrary limits imposed from the other person. (For example: I don't like coffee, but have no need for a person to hate it, too. Just have enough sense for my dislike of it not to be a "deal-breaker". [And there's an expression and concept I can do without; get over yourself and your empty qualifications;-)])
Anyway, I have been in a serious, long-term relationship for several years, and I now seek a loving, uncomplicated but real, sexual relationship. By uncomplicated, I don't mean problem-free or unrealistic, just a relationship that's easier than it is hard, on balance. (My previous relationship had sex offered only as an early inducement to pursue it further, even though I was already interested. Once I was involved, the sex ended soon after and it took years of my besotted devotion before I realized the intimacy was never returning.)
Btw, be aware that my "handle" is meant to be provocatively fun, and not the over-confident false promise of a carnival barker. Still, I AM a stud of mammoth proportions, uh...but not literally, just in effort and willingness to please. Oh, and not really a "stud" either, in the purest sense of being a procreating machine. I have not, as yet, spawned, though others do make a sport of that also. Besides, spawning never did much for the ambitious salmon, who always dies soon after. Not me. Better to live to spawn another day.
Things I'm not:
A morning person. A parent of any "amazing" kids (or ordinary ones, either). A coffee drinker. A mixed martial arts fan. A political conservative, despite the vibe I somehow give off. A slave to Facebook. A Country Music fan, even though I'm white and SEEM conservative. A rap fan, even though I support all expression. A brewer of my own beer. A white water rafter. A user of platitudes like "Everything happens for a reason" after something terrible occurs. A vampire (although I briefly had a childhood fantasy of being one because of the powers it gave, and tanning was out of the question). A exclaimer of "Awww" whenever an image of a kitten or Ronald Reagan is shown somewhere. A Star Wars fan. Tall.
Things I am:
Shy but funny. Moody without taking it out on others. Good at Jeopardy, while watching at home, anyway. Fascinated by life and the meaning of reality and the universe. A friendly loner, in a way, but with actual friends and loved ones. A poor reader who nevertheless loves learning. A Star Trek fan. Much, much more, and less;-).
Perhaps I've over-explained here. Oh well, I've looked for something like love, but I've run out of space and time, as a physicist once might've said.
Also, I'm pretty good at piercing through pretensions, even my own, occasional ones. This is usually most enjoyable when done good-naturedly (which it is most of the time, anyway) around a receptive friend or two, to share the amusement and bemusement. (Like watching the supposedly fastidiously authentic Mad Men for anachronistic speech. This is ridiculously easy, it turns out. Examples: 1) Last year a character described another one's rather unrevealing suicide note as being "boiler plate", a term that I doubt even the typical user [i.e., political commentator] wouldn't have used before the '90s; and, 2) Recently a character spoke of someone with a loaded schedule as having a "full plate", an expression that even in the '80s would've gotten the speaker a blank look [which it still should, I think]. Hilarious! It's the late 20th century the producers are depicting, not 16th century England. Translations into more current idiomatic developments are unnecessary. So, let them use the dated expressions of the day ["groovy", for example, for some characters], and leave the current abominations in the present.:-) Sorry, Matthew Weiner. :-) )
Oh, and I really love pizza. What a gourmet!
In that vein: I wonder why people don't give up Christianity for Lent.
Also: Would the Dalai Lama ever assist Richard Gere if there were a "Free Upstate New York" movement? (I doubt it. It amuses me when I imagine that the Dalai Lama secretly doesn't care much for Mr. Gere, and for no good reason: just simple, inexplicable dislike!) And does he get irritated when people call him the Dolly Lama? Namaste, brethren!
I also wonder when women's pubic hair became a taboo, as if grooming to the maximum and appearing child-like in hoo-ha land was always preferable and not slightly weird. I do like it, though.
And when did everyone's teeth become glow-in-the-dark white? I like that too, but it's a little excessive sometimes. We've forgotten what well-groomed but still fairly natural looks like anymore.
Eyebrows, too. What is eyebrow threading, and is it as painful as it sounds?
I once had an erotic dream involving Cloris Leachman. It was both disturbing, unexpected, and surprisingly satisfying. And it was only once! (Hey, I'm not responsible for the involuntary thoughts of my unconscious, am I?!). And let me clarify that it was 1970s, middle aged Cloris, not elderly Cloris, although that should be okay too;-).
You don't mind someone who isn't a morning person. I can do what I need to in the morning, but it isn't my best time of the day. It's okay if you are, as long as you get that I'm not, and that I'll sleep late when I can.
You're a woman, free to give and receive love, sex included. I'm a good guy who's gone too long without love and understanding, even though I've freely given both.
While you're a pretty, girl-next-door type, natural and down-to-earth, that doesn't mean that you're naive or ostrich-like about how the world works even if your ideals wish it were otherwise (mine do too).
You don't mind that I'm pale, though not quite with the defiant trendiness of a Goth, although my natural coloring might make me seem like I'm on a Goth waiting list. Any sun I get is incidental and unintended, but acquired color comes slightly easier and fades more slowly than it once did(another curse or advantage of not being 25 anymore?). So, you're not too attached to tanning. Same with Christian fundamentalism, Country Music, rap, or football. That is, you're not attached to MY liking all those things . (I like sports, mainly baseball, but no longer very intensely. I just don't get too wrapped up in them.)
VERY IMPORTANT: Don't be too attached to my answers to the often maddening questions here. Rather, consider the humor with which many are answered, as well the sometimes lengthy explanations I added: they're essential for a proper sense of things. (To put things in perspective, there were very few questions to which I attached an "I will accept only this answer"
limitation. The details you add are what matter and clarify things.)
You have a sense of humor and low expectations. (I mean that in the best possible way. High hopes are good, though.) It also helps if you're intelligent, you think for yourself, and have a beautiful smile, especially while naked.:-) (forgive me, but I'm tired of my natural shyness inhibiting my playfulness, and it is just playfulness;-).)
Please, no cancer tans, or excessive tattoos (i.e., like a sailor's, or like ones on those still sleeping through their heavy metal dreams).
You're neither a snob, nor a crude and impolite person. Someone down to earth who can speak plainly, even harshly sometimes, but doesn't pepper every other word with swearing. Contrastingly, if you're overly hung up on status symbols or what wine goes with whatever abomination is the trendy entree, please move on. Well, maybe not, as long as you don't expect me be the same. Respecting differences is the key!