eroticando
56 East Providence, United States
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eroticando
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My self-summary
Special note made on Dec. 3, 2016. I've just returned here after several weeks off (because of birthdays, holidays, and various time consumers) to find a tantalizing and interesting message from 2beinvincible2 on Nov. 12, who has discontinued her profile. What a shame, as I greatly appreciated her message. Thank you, wherever you are, and please come back. And, no, I'm fairly sure that we don't know each other. If you come back, please let me know. I'd love to explain more. Thank you!

ATTENTION: Hi! My status has changed. While I had joined here to take surveys, and practice writing both humorous and serious entries, I now seek friendship or more in the Providence area.

It's so lonely out here, and everywhere. Everybody's got a list of qualifiers and disqualifers that leave no l room for nuance or exceptions. Yes, I have some too, but they're mostly not absolute (except for my being against child molestation, right wing demagogues, and, bigotry in general).

Well, there's nothing better than love, real love, free from arbitrary limits imposed from the other person. (For example: I don't like coffee, but have no need for a person to hate it, too. Just have enough sense for my dislike of it not to be a "deal-breaker". [And there's an expression and concept I can do without; get over yourself and your empty qualifications;-)])

Anyway, I have been in a serious, long-term relationship for several years, and I now seek a loving, uncomplicated but real, sexual relationship. By uncomplicated, I don't mean problem-free or unrealistic, just a relationship that's easier than it is hard, on balance. (My previous relationship had sex offered only as an early inducement to pursue it further, even though I was already interested. Once I was involved, the sex ended soon after and it took years of my besotted devotion before I realized the intimacy was never returning.)

Btw, be aware that my "handle" is meant to be provocatively fun, and not the over-confident false promise of a carnival barker. Still, I AM a stud of mammoth proportions, uh...but not literally, just in effort and willingness to please. Oh, and not really a "stud" either, in the purest sense of being a procreating machine. I have not, as yet, spawned, though others do make a sport of that also. Besides, spawning never did much for the ambitious salmon, who always dies soon after. Not me. Better to live to spawn another day.

Things I'm not:
A morning person. A parent of any "amazing" kids (or ordinary ones, either). A coffee drinker. A mixed martial arts fan. A political conservative, despite the vibe I somehow give off. A slave to Facebook. A Country Music fan, even though I'm white and SEEM conservative. A rap fan, even though I support all expression. A brewer of my own beer. A white water rafter. A user of platitudes like "Everything happens for a reason" after something terrible occurs. A vampire (although I briefly had a childhood fantasy of being one because of the powers it gave, and tanning was out of the question). A exclaimer of "Awww" whenever an image of a kitten or Ronald Reagan is shown somewhere. A Star Wars fan. Tall.

Things I am:
Shy but funny. Moody without taking it out on others. Good at Jeopardy, while watching at home, anyway. Fascinated by life and the meaning of reality and the universe. A friendly loner, in a way, but with actual friends and loved ones. A poor reader who nevertheless loves learning. A Star Trek fan. Much, much more, and less;-).

Perhaps I've over-explained here. Oh well, I've looked for something like love, but I've run out of space and time, as a physicist once might've said.
What I’m doing with my life
Looking for love, truth, and understanding, in a cruelly indifferent universe. You know-- fun stuff!
I’m really good at
Sounding reasonable when I'm occasionally irrationally upset, and seeming overly passionate when I have a very logical point to make. Ah, paradox. (Then again, sometimes I'm just harmlessly irrational while venting, without there being any sensible point to make. I reserve the right to have nonsensical release!) I'm also self-deprecating.
Also, I'm pretty good at piercing through pretensions, even my own, occasional ones. This is usually most enjoyable when done good-naturedly (which it is most of the time, anyway) around a receptive friend or two, to share the amusement and bemusement. (Like watching the supposedly fastidiously authentic Mad Men for anachronistic speech. This is ridiculously easy, it turns out. Examples: 1) Last year a character described another one's rather unrevealing suicide note as being "boiler plate", a term that I doubt even the typical user [i.e., political commentator] wouldn't have used before the '90s; and, 2) Recently a character spoke of someone with a loaded schedule as having a "full plate", an expression that even in the '80s would've gotten the speaker a blank look [which it still should, I think]. Hilarious! It's the late 20th century the producers are depicting, not 16th century England. Translations into more current idiomatic developments are unnecessary. So, let them use the dated expressions of the day ["groovy", for example, for some characters], and leave the current abominations in the present.:-) Sorry, Matthew Weiner. :-) )
The first things people usually notice about me
My inconspicuousness. ("Was somebody just here?" They're probably talking about me.) Really, I do tend to go unnoticed when alone, as I've learned too well how to move quietly around. But when I am noticed, people seem to think that I'm fairly good-looking, as bipeds go. Okay, they actually notice that I'm two-legged first, then might notice my boyishly middle-aged appeal. Then again, that standing upright thing IS pretty impressive.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Trying to reacquaint and just plain acquaint myself with great fiction by Orwell, Melville, and Sarah Palin (she's trapped in an eternal fiction, isn't she?), for example, but I tend to read more nonfiction. Since I read with a stuttering inner voice, I prefer to enjoy fiction in movies, TV, and theatre more, but I love great words beautifully put together, and the written and the performed versions of those words both have their advantages. So, I also like movies, some TV and some sports. My musical tastes are eclectic, meaning I have no well-defined standards across the spectrum, though I do tend to retch when rap and Country Music come a-callin', yet I respect their authentic artists.

Oh, and I really love pizza. What a gourmet!
The six things I could never do without
1) Affection. Although, I have gone through long periods without much of it, and not just the sexual part, so I CAN survive, but I'm no longer willing to go without. I've paid my dues, which is an awful justification for accepting less than what is an essential human need, but I will wait no more. I'm now way beyond Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 2) Sleep. 3) My memory of the one time I heard Peter Gabriel's "Shock the Monkey" as he performed it in (the original?) German. 4) The freedom to not automatically like something trendy just to keep up. 5) The freedom from ever having to make a list of preferences again. 6) The fact that under "My Details" here it tells me that I'm online now. (Thanks, okcupid!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Humor; the meaning of life; politics; sex; and how finding the humorous absurdity in sex, politics, and religion is meaningful to me.

In that vein: I wonder why people don't give up Christianity for Lent.

Also: Would the Dalai Lama ever assist Richard Gere if there were a "Free Upstate New York" movement? (I doubt it. It amuses me when I imagine that the Dalai Lama secretly doesn't care much for Mr. Gere, and for no good reason: just simple, inexplicable dislike!) And does he get irritated when people call him the Dolly Lama? Namaste, brethren!

I also wonder when women's pubic hair became a taboo, as if grooming to the maximum and appearing child-like in hoo-ha land was always preferable and not slightly weird. I do like it, though.

And when did everyone's teeth become glow-in-the-dark white? I like that too, but it's a little excessive sometimes. We've forgotten what well-groomed but still fairly natural looks like anymore.

Eyebrows, too. What is eyebrow threading, and is it as painful as it sounds?
On a typical Friday night I am
At home, sometimes remembering past misspent nights at bars. I'm happy to say that it was never my aspiration to be the world's most successful lounge lizard. Good thing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I still enjoy seeing images of nude women, although not usually with the relentlessly gynecological views now in vogue. Don't worry, though, I'm not expecting anyone to look like a centerfold, although I'm not against that if it's natural.

I once had an erotic dream involving Cloris Leachman. It was both disturbing, unexpected, and surprisingly satisfying. And it was only once! (Hey, I'm not responsible for the involuntary thoughts of my unconscious, am I?!). And let me clarify that it was 1970s, middle aged Cloris, not elderly Cloris, although that should be okay too;-).
You should message me if
You're the girl next door type, regardless of your age. This doesn't mean an immature or air-headed person, it simply means a woman who's cute in looks, which I find beautiful (while others use "cute" as an insult in disguise). A sweet smile, beautiful blue eyes (although , not only that color), and an adorable quality that doesn't negate her being taken seriously (by me, at least).

You don't mind someone who isn't a morning person. I can do what I need to in the morning, but it isn't my best time of the day. It's okay if you are, as long as you get that I'm not, and that I'll sleep late when I can.
You're a woman, free to give and receive love, sex included. I'm a good guy who's gone too long without love and understanding, even though I've freely given both.
While you're a pretty, girl-next-door type, natural and down-to-earth, that doesn't mean that you're naive or ostrich-like about how the world works even if your ideals wish it were otherwise (mine do too).
You don't mind that I'm pale, though not quite with the defiant trendiness of a Goth, although my natural coloring might make me seem like I'm on a Goth waiting list. Any sun I get is incidental and unintended, but acquired color comes slightly easier and fades more slowly than it once did(another curse or advantage of not being 25 anymore?). So, you're not too attached to tanning. Same with Christian fundamentalism, Country Music, rap, or football. That is, you're not attached to MY liking all those things . (I like sports, mainly baseball, but no longer very intensely. I just don't get too wrapped up in them.)

VERY IMPORTANT: Don't be too attached to my answers to the often maddening questions here. Rather, consider the humor with which many are answered, as well the sometimes lengthy explanations I added: they're essential for a proper sense of things. (To put things in perspective, there were very few questions to which I attached an "I will accept only this answer"
limitation. The details you add are what matter and clarify things.)

You have a sense of humor and low expectations. (I mean that in the best possible way. High hopes are good, though.) It also helps if you're intelligent, you think for yourself, and have a beautiful smile, especially while naked.:-) (forgive me, but I'm tired of my natural shyness inhibiting my playfulness, and it is just playfulness;-).)

Please, no cancer tans, or excessive tattoos (i.e., like a sailor's, or like ones on those still sleeping through their heavy metal dreams).

You're neither a snob, nor a crude and impolite person. Someone down to earth who can speak plainly, even harshly sometimes, but doesn't pepper every other word with swearing. Contrastingly, if you're overly hung up on status symbols or what wine goes with whatever abomination is the trendy entree, please move on. Well, maybe not, as long as you don't expect me be the same. Respecting differences is the key!
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