expondi-dummy
58 Toronto, Canada
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expondi-dummy
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My self-summary
Okay, back from the cottage...next trip is to LA...can't wait! So let's try this okCupid game again. (heavy sigh...really...c'mon ladies, I'm not getting any younger over here)
Summarizing myself? Really? I would have to take myself seriously. What a ridiculous notion! I'm 58, very intelligent, very cool, very funny...very self-absorbed and quite delusional. Looking for someone just like me...
Or maybe, to summarize myself, I should use this unsolicited note I received from a woman here on OKC. (I have directly cut and pasted) :
"your not handsome at all your a complete idiot"
She might have a point...Anyway...I'm looking for someone to share some fun as we wind - (as in wind down the road...not put up a sail and wind down the road...stupid English language) - wind our way down the road that old people wind down on. And don't be dawdling...
From what I've heard, some of these profiles are pretty boring, and this is not the time or the place for that...so here's some true and not-so-true stuff...true story.
What I’m doing with my life
choppin' wood
I’m really good at
choppin' wood
The first things people usually notice about me
i have an axe
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Immortality - Kundera
Amelie. Especially when the horses are running. (I wrote directed and produced a movie when I was younger...back in another life. I've written and produced a highly acclaimed, lowly read magazine when I was younger...back in another life.)
Hard to say. Never seen the South Park boys entry. From what I hear, I might like it. Rhapsody In Blue is hard to spell.
Leonard Cohen moves me every time. (It's how I define poetry. If it moves me, it is poetry. If it doesn't (97.6% of the time) it is not poetry...it's poo. POO!)
They have been experimenting with food and spices in India for 10,000 years, so...but hey, nothing wrong with a hunk of fish dipped in glue and dropped in month-old fryer oil...then wrapped in a Newspaper. And I love Bourdain more than you. He's got me beat food-wise, but not travel-wise...well, maybe travel-wise too. (I had a best friend who was the same man as Bourdain...loved by all, alas...)
The six things I could never do without
wood
an axe
a place to pile wood
a tarp to cover the top of the wood pile, so it doesn't get wet
more wood
a new place to pile wood
another tarp...shit...that's 7 things plus a new tarp...I'm going to have to call in a Consultant. Things are getting complicated...why do things always have to get complicated? I mean, if choppin' wood gets complicated, what the hell are my chances here? :)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
choppin' wood
On a typical Friday night I am
gettin' drunk and choppin' wood
(editors note...not gettin' drunk no more...just choppin' wood)
(editors note...tired of not gettin' drunk...gettin' drunk a bit)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am not Gian Gomeshi.
You should message me if
you find life absurd and you are funny, or at least have some joy in you. OR, you like a man with big manly wood choppin' muscles who has an axe and wears a toque and you should especially message me if you like fires.
ps. So, I'm somewhat jaded when it comes to chasing girls. I'm 58 and I've learned that HERE, it is pointless chasing women. I'm playing very passively here. You have to message me (i don't get to see who "likes" me...they want $20 if I want to see who likes me?...anyone else find that a little oily?...peeling another 20 off a lonely boy like me? I can afford the $20, but I don't want to encourage these weasels...damn data-miners...) I've thrown up a profile, answered some questions, just in case "the one" happens by. Ultimately, you should message me if you are at the stage where you think sitting around on a Sunday morning reading the New York Times is a lovely way to decompose...oh, yeah, please have at least 2 photos...one with your face in it and one that shows your head and torso and at least 2 of your knees. If you have more than 2 knees, no need to show off. And proof that you have ankles would be good...I appreciate a good ankle. And maybe one without makeup, because that's how I'm going to love you anyway...and how about a photo of you in some skimpy lingerie? That would be nice. Have I gone too far? Oh, and that portrait photo...could you make that one from some time in this century? I'm less and less shallow the older I get...but I'm still a guy, eh? And answer some questions...that's the whole point of this. By answering questions one is better able to identify like-minded people, which leads to better matching, which leads to True Love, every time. Honest. True story.
Every...single...time...True Love.
So click on answers "with explanations" and experience my humble offerings. Then answer some questions, have some fun and get yourself a personality profile. Then fall in love and live happily ever after...
p.s. I get bored sometimes...oh, the ennui (crossword staple)...so I surf around this site, thinking about how well suited we are. If you see that I've visited you, and I have not said, "Hi, the algorithm and I think we are well suited," it is because I don't have time for all this rejection (some of you are so NICE...but still...) Don't get me wrong, I love being ignored and/or misunderstood and/or patted on the head, but I'm going to leave it to you to initiate. And I don't care how you do it. Just send a little smiley thingy...or even just a period...or if you are feeling especially wild and generous, an ellipsis. You go girl...
p.p.s I am annoyed that I rate so low on the Spiritual scale. The reason I am rated so low, is that I have negatively answered questions that reference 'organized religion'. That has nothing to do with my Spirituality. I am currently worshipping at the altar of Kardashian Pop Culture...soon going to LA...maybe I can find someone who'll make me wanna stay...:) Oh, and the last (stupid) thing: I cannot abide bad hair-dye-jobs. If you obviously dye your hair, it's a non-starter. I mean, I know we're not 20 anymore, and we have to forgive the cruelty of time and gravity, but that one I can't seem to get past. Oh...and have some teeth in your head, too...hehehe. Now go read my answers with explanations...
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