35Rochester, United States
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My self-summary
I am, if nothing else, a man of integrity. I choose to live a life governed by strict morals that are often difficult to remember. That’s why I’ve simplified everything into one simple, easy-to-understand list of rules:

Never date a girl with a hook for a hand.
Never pass up a free sample.
Never pet a chicken.
If it’s yellow, flush it down, too.
Never spell check.
Never trust a dude with hair past his shoulders.
Never delete “Total Recall” from your DVR.
Never meet a girl for lunch.
Never repeat yourself.
Don’t say the same thing twice.
The longer the line, the better the food.
If you pay your taxes before a court mandates that you do, you’ve paid too soon.
Never order a “small” beer.
Black tie is never optional.
If someone yells “Duck!” then duck.
What I’m doing with my life
At the moment, I am creating a profile based on my sense of humor with some added chauvinistic characteristics ;)

Just to weed the "boring people"
I’m really good at
Reading between the lines;

1. If she tells you she’s “married.”
This is chick-code for “I haven’t done it in months, take me now.”
2. If you’re blocking her path to the bathroom and she says, “Pardon me.”
Take away the P, A, R, and N and you have “Do me.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that. She wants you to join her in stall #3.
3. If she slaps you.
You know what they say: any physical contact is good contact. Be sure to establish a “safe word” beforehand. I recommend “help!”
4. If she’s eating pretzels.
Wants you to wrap her legs up in knots. Duh.
5. If she refuses your offer to buy her a drink.
She wants you to buy her dinner instead, in which case, bail. That’s way too much effort when there’s probably a girl nearby eating pretzels.
The first things people usually notice about me
My voluptuous chest.
Six things I could never do without
1. my dog
2 family
3. job
4 snowboard
5. friends
6. favorite cozy sweatshirt
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What is the deal with Canadians and donuts? Per capita, Canadians consume more donuts than every Asian country combined. That’s an actual fact. Look it up.
On a typical Friday night I am
causing trouble, or sitting at the end of my dock sipping on a beer looking at the moonlight on the water while talking to my dog. ( he understands )
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story. But how do I do it? Simple. I sing the following song to remind myself of how many awesome things there really are out there.

Girls in wet t-shirts and chimps in tuxedos,
Monster truck pile-ups and Hans who shoot Greedos.
Wild chicks that beg to be tied up with strings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

U.S. Armed Forces and dudes kicked in gonads
Box suites for football and chicks’ absent dads.
Single malt scotches that someone else brings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

Skateboarder wipe-outs and first person shooters,
Reruns of “Air Wolf” and hiring for Hooters.
Hot girls that gyrate and wear down bedsprings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!
You should message me if
If you have managed to keep your sense of humor thus far, I would imagine we could be a good match.
The two of us