31Plymouth Meeting, United States
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My self-summary
Disclaimer: Let's get this out there right off the bat. I'm certainly not expecting to find all of these traits in one person, but each of them will definitely win you brownie points. I'm a liberal feminist, but I'm not a "social justice warrior." I am attracted to people of similar mindset. I'm really here looking for guys (or girls) with a similar sardonic/sarcastic/nihilistic personality as mine. Sleeve tattoos on men are a weakness. I AM NOT HERE TO FIND A NSA/FWB/NETFLIX & CHILL. If your profile pic is one single topless bathroom or gym selfie that doesn't show your face with the profile itself not even filled out, please do not bother contacting me. I don't judge people looking for that kind of relationship at all, it's just not what I want right now. Been there, done that, outgrew it. I'm looking for a relationship that could *potentially* turn into a LTR, either after a month of dating or after 5 years. I wish there was some way to skip the whole nervous, "getting to know each other" phase and skip right to sitting on the couch in our pjs fighting over the last Girl Scout cookie.

Now that that's out of the way...

~INFP, but it changes depending on my mood when I take the test. ~Mom (primary guardian) to a 7 year old daughter and a 10 year old cat. ~Tattooed. ~Sidonglobophobic. ~Passionate about the things I care about and believe in. ~I lean pretty far to the left politically but not so far that I'm falling over. That being said, *Trump can eat an entire bag of dicks.* I watch TV with the captions on.

I respect all (intelligent) opinions, but love playing devil's advocate. That can sometimes make me come across as argumentative, but I'm really not.

"Heteroflexible": I'm mostly hetero, but every once in a while, a woman will catch my eye or attention and I can't help myself. I'd consider myself to be more "pansexual" as I'm attracted to personalities rather than genders, but I do still tend to gravitate toward men in general (although it's by no means a "rule.")
What I’m doing with my life
Wasting it expertly.
I’m really good at
i suck at lying, but i'm awesome at spinning the truth in just the right way, which is actually kind of better than being good at lying.

Diffusing tense situations, or making it worse. It's kinda 50/50.

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Any mistakes in this profile were intentional.
The first things people usually notice about me
Definitely the red hair. i get a lot of compliments on my eyes, glasses (which are missing at the moment), and tattoos. I rarely show my true sense of humor to people i don't know that well, out of fear of offending them, but I'd like to think that people who know me well enough for me to be comfortable joking with would say I'm hilarious. (cuz I totally am.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books? What is "books"? Do they still have those? (Totally kidding, I love reading. I'm a big Neil Gaiman fan- "Good Omens" changed my life. Currently sludging my way through "futuristic violence and fancy suits" and "charlotte's web.")

Movies- harry potter, trainspotting, eternal sunshine, wristcutters: a love story, cloverfield, the little mermaid, the charlie brown christmas movie, the south park movie, hedwig and the angry inch, nightmare before christmas, rocky horror, the fault in our stars.

Shows- the unbreakable kimmy schmidt, supernatural, breaking bad, Orange is the New Black, The Walking Dead, always sunny, king of the hill, The Simpsons, South Park, Rocko's Modern Life, old school nickelodeon.. if it's on netflix or hulu, i'll probably give it a shot.

Music- always been and always will be loyal to blink 182. Recently have started getting more into Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran... but I'm pretty open to all types. Really love The Mountain Goats too.
Six things I could never do without
Not sure I can come up with 6 right this moment, so I'll list what I can.
1. My phone.
2. A microwave. My old one died recently and I decided to try to go without for a while and nearly starved to death.
3. Internet memes. If you're a member of the UUUM community, we might as well go ahead and get married now.
4. Old fashioned words and expressions, like "now you're cookin' with gas!" or "well bully for you!" I also kinda have a thing for grammar. it borders on fetishist... oh baby, tell me a sentence that doesn't end in a preposition! I also enjoy using words like "bae" in an extremely ironic manner (I would NEVER use them seriously.)
5. Sarcasm. It's literally more important to me than oxygen. Literally.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why people do the things they do the way they do them. Psychology, medicine, art, history, lots of stuff.

science! new discoveries! water on the moon?? life on mars?? mapping the human genome?! wtf is the human genome?! who gives a shit, it's knowledge! the greatest quest of man! grab a fucking microscope, bitches!
On a typical Friday night I am
singing the national anthem at cockfights
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i never shave my legs. not as a political statement or anything, i just have virtually no body hair whatsoever. i do it *maybe* 3-4 times a year, and you would never know. I have also never plucked/waxed my eyebrows. Again, because I don't have to. No unibrow here.
You should message me if
If you made it to the end of this profile and aren't thinking "damn, this bitch is long winded." i can be loquacious at times, sue me.

Call it a quirk, but I basically have one rule I absolutely won't bend. I won't sleep with someone without knowing their FULL name. Kinda seems like a no brainer but you'd be surprised..
The two of us