26Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
I am Sam. Don't ask about the green eggs and ham, bad experience.

I am an Oklahoman one-timed removed now living in the Second City.

My favorite cereal is Fruit Loops, no relation.

No, I didn't grow up on a ranch, but I ate ranch growing up.

Gay in real life, straight on Grindr. (Allegedly.)

Nerds, dorks and geeks are what makes my knees weak.

If I was a comic strip, I'd be Cathy. ACK!

I was on television last night, I can sleep anywhere.

You may recognize me from the obesity B-roll they show on news reports about Michelle Obama.

I'm awkward enough to take you to karaoke and romantically perform "My Humps" to you.

I love drag queens, but I look too much like a lesbian to be one.

If a friend is upset, I recite all of the lyrics of "Girl" by Destiny's Child to them.

I laugh like the beginning of "Wannabe."

My life goal is to only live in cities with musicals named after them. Next stop: Brigadoon.

"If your goals don't make others laugh, they're not big enough."
What I’m doing with my life
I work for a start-up that prefers not to be called a start-up, but I am calling it a start-up because I'm pretty sure, by definition, it's still a start-up. Right?
I’m really good at
Comparing and contrasting horrible movies with wonderful ones.
The first things people usually notice about me
is my wonderful, "I woke up like this" hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
When it comes to compiled entertainment this is how my day goes:

I listen to a podcast on my morning commute. This could be Filmspotting, How Was Your Week? or What's The Tee?

At work, I have a Spotify radio station that contains adult contemporary, pop, movie soundtracks and showtunes I constantly listen to. If I need to zone out, I put on an audiobook brought to you by Audible.

If I have time, I go to the movies or go see a cheap play. I prefer AMC River East for these movies, but my favorite is Music Box Theater. I enjoy going to movies because I am forced to watch it. If I stayed at home to watch the same movie, I would pause it about 30 times before actually finishing it.

When I get home, I usually put on a random movie and cook. My favorite one is Fried Green Tomatoes, because it reminds me of my mom. Towanda!

When I wind down, I put on records (Stop rolling your eyes) and play on the computer.
Six things I could never do without
Why six things? Why can't I have seven? Wait, I can't even think of one.

Um, uh, The Golden Girls? Wait, counting all the girls that's only four things. Cheesecake would make five. Um, how about commercials for diabetes and life insurance as the sixth?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What ever happened to Baby Jane?
On a typical Friday night I am
Spending about an hour deciding if ordering from Grubhub is worth it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you call me Sammy out of nowhere, you're halfway to having my heart.
You should message me if
you are willing to say something more original than, "Hello." It just gives me more than enough excuse to quote Lionel Richie.
The two of us