freebatman
34 Portland, United States
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freebatman
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My self-summary
Retired Sous Chef, Ivy-League dropout, your next boyfriend.

IG: morefunthankendra
t: @TPBadvice

I'm looking for a real connection with a nice lady.

Will you be the Jandana to my Bocephus?

UPDATE: I met a really lovely lady on here. She asked me to reactivate me profile so she could see picture of me.
What I’m doing with my life
My default is to say the song "Mama Kin" by Aerosmith sums up my life, but that really isn't the case anymore. Maybe it never was. I am certainly not "sleepin late and smokin tea"; I am keeping in touch with "mama kin" however.

As the information above might make you think otherwise, i have a real job, i almost said adult job, but that would mean something else ;-p, a car, and my own place.

Also, getting it how I live it; fabulous, ridiculous, and like you wouldn't believe.
I’m really good at
Forgetting important pieces of information; remembering not so important pieces of information. Coming up with systems to help with the former.
The first things people usually notice about me
My outfit, or maybe the beard depending on its status. Or maybe the kicks. Or maybe i am grabing their hands and making them feel my beard because it is the softest.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: For leisure reading I mostly fuck with memoirs or other funny or interesting non-fiction. I also recently decided to start reading in bed instead of using a tablet. My friend took me to this exclusive club the other day, maybe you have heard of it, it's called CostCo, no big deal, and i purchased a discount copy of "Ready Player One", pretty good so far. I feel that i should disclose that I have a collection of etiquette books.

Movies: Snatch is one of my go to "happy time movies". I like a lot of "bad movies"; I attended Tromadance twice when i was still living on the east coast. I usually watch Roman Holiday during Christmas time.

Shows: SO MUCH TV!!!! None of it reality. Currently in production includes: Broad City, American Crime Story, New Girl, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Better Call Saul, Always Sunny, Idiotsitter, Workaholics, Bob's Burgers.

Music: Cards on the table A LOT of UK Grime, 2-step, and really just a lot of techno. That isn't all that i like, that's just what I'm vibing on at this moment. MUSIC UPDATE I have tickets for Guns 'n Fuckin' Roses not in this lifetime tour.

Food: Yes. Breakfast foods. Also, i recently created/named a drink after myself. It is call a Luke Stein, it is takes inspiration from the Arnold Palmer, it is half red bull and half carbonated water of some kind, it is amazing. Montage is my go to restaurant.

Podcasts: Right, it's 2016, we should include this. Never Not Funny, Womp It Up!, Freakenomics, Serial, How Did This Get Made?, Bitch Sesh; even though I don't watch the "Housewives"
The six things I could never do without
Both my thumbs; At least one testicle (still have both); Stuff to read; My Mom; Caffeine; Shoes (I HATE being barefoot).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I recently came up with the following theory: "Gym Shoes Conway" sounds like the name some horrible yuppie/hipsters would give their kid in like 20 years. The name Gym Shoes Conway also sounds like the name of a train hobo from the turn of the last century, so maybe time travel gets perfected in the latter half of this century and Gym Shoes and his crew go back in time, but it turns out it makes you go crazy and become a hobo, so we scrap that idea and that's why the fabric of the universe isn't ripping apart.

I wouldn't say I spend a lot of time thinking about Ol' Gym Shoes Conway, but it gives you a solid idea of the type of things i think about a lot of the time.
On a typical Friday night I am
You might catch me at the rave store. You might catch me getting doughnuts at not voodoo. You might catch me at home getting ready for something better on Saturday.

Most likely at home relaxing. I usually reserve womping it up for Saturdays.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't pay much attention to match/enemy percentage when deciding to message a lady. I realize that for some of these questions, my answers are not static, some of them i don't feel comfortable answering in this public an arena at this time, and I feel that the explanations I attach to the questions often sound insane.

I've seen some bras.

Whenever it says that someone is more trusting i think of this. It is one of my favorite tracks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsW8J_vuAko

I find selfie camera photos to be very disorienting.
You should message me if
You want to go to Powell's and look for copies of the Dalton Wilcox book.

Or, if Saturday at a rave followed by Sunday at the horse racing track sounds like a perfect weekend.

But really, it's 2016, get at the kid if you want to. Be the strong independent woman we both know you are. Get yours.
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