36North Hollywood, United States
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My self-summary
I enjoy sarcasm like a fine wine, and the key to my heart is made of puns, loosely strung together. I moved here from Orlando,FL. I try to only live in places that have people in well dressed mouse suits. (You don't want to know where my other options were.) I am a big fan of comedy in general. I've found the best things that happen to me are things I almost didn't do. Nights when I almost chose to stay in are often filled with legendary stories that would make Homer's tales look lame in comparison. As a matter of fact, the only thing he has on me is the whole cyclops thing, but I'm working on that.
Ultimately, I'd like to find someone who is slightly to quite random; passionate about something; and who still finds Disneyland fucking magical.

If i'm having the worst day/night, but I see a shooting star, that's all I'll think about.
What I’m doing with my life
This question just makes me think of the song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." (A guilty pleasure of mine.)
I’m really good at
Seeing things otherwise overlooked by others, finishing sentences, and going to
I also put a lot of detail in my cooking. I believe that cooking, like life, is a journey, not a destination. I once made ribs that I think will be the best things I've ever made. I apologize to my future children, but you have a lot to live up to.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and my beard, and my uncanny ability to find Waldo.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Sideways Stories from Wayside School, A Short History of Nearly Everything, and David Sedaris books.

Favorite Movies include, but are not limited to:
Airplane!, Office Space, Bottle Rocket, The Jerk, Schindler's List, Half Baked, Indiana Jones Trilogy (yes I said trilogy), Dumb and Dumber, Love Actually, Big Lebowski, Big Fish, My Blue Heaven

Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, 30 rock, The Office, Community, Good Eats, Parks and Recreation, How i Met Your Mother, Dexter, LOST, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Larry Sander's Show, The Tick, Animaniacs, The A-Team.

I often find myself having to make the hard decision between listening to Garth Brooks or Biggie Smalls.

Ranch and baby carrots: Can't imagine a world without these.
Six things I could never do without
"Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure." - Steve Martin
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If the inventor of Jelly ever got together with George Washington Carver.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably cooking and dancing to Taylor Swift with my earbuds in, until I realized my roommates have been watching me do that for 10 mins.
You should message me if
You want to watch some MST3K or RIFFTRAXX, or go on a bike ride together.

You are alarmed by atrocities such as this one:
The two of us