I'm looking for the woman that will let me be the one.
Movie: The man from Snowy River (1 & 2)
Shows: Ron White (You can't fix stupid)
Music: Today it's Amy Lee.
Food: Grilled, blackened salmon
10) After reading your profile (ARP) I felt we were not a match.
9) ARP you think you are too hot for me.
8) ARP you are way too hot for me.
7) ARP I was afraid.
6) ARP you're a Scorpio.
5) ARP I noticed you live too far away.
4) ARP I noticed that you were too young.
3) ARP I noticed another man in the picture, just his arm.
2) ARP I noticed your 3rd picture was what you look like today.
Finally, the number 1 reason:
After reading your profile, I realized that your 3 dogs would always be loved more than me.
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
THE GUY'S RULES:
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Actually, if it's up, you know we haven't pissed on it!
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Got GPS?
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, golf or the cover girl on Maxim..
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
"Just for Grins"