44Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
My earned name, bequeathed upon me by fearmybooty and madoo, is Socks the Trollop, and I take this title very seriously (see my journals if you want to know why). My superpowers include spooning dead hookers, birthday sock pr0n and knowing more film quotes than can possibly be healthy. You should know I'm already smitten with someone, which doesn't mean you shouldn't message me, just that you probably shouldn't message me asking for a blowjob. Shimmybliss is one of my harem members...there are many waiting to join.

Well-read geek who knows how to rewire a porch light and cook eggs benedict. Certifiable film junkie. Friendly misanthrope. Curses like a sailor. Likes sitting in the dark watching flickering lights (24 frames per second, bitches), the smell of used bookstores, and cheese. Dislikes drivers who tailgate, people who text message in cinemas and people who constantly use netspeak. Unreasonably turned on by big words, alliteration and true cleverness; I give new meaning to the term "sibilant sapiosexual."

I probably own more books than you. I've probably seen more films than you. I am a Member of the okcupid Cheese Appreciation Society.

I am known to be awesome in at least 14 different ways but I'm far too modest (awesome feature #12) to make such a claim myself. Instead I trick helpless nerds into saying such things on my behalf.

If you need to dispose of a body* I'm the one you want answering that 3am call. Just remember to specify whether it needs to look like an accident, or if there needs to be no trace found.

*Dead hookers automatically become the property of disposer.

** I totally adore CreepyGirl5778 and can not live without her <3

*** Jadedone22 is my biatch and we are in lub lub.

I am blasphemous, misanthropic, and preposterous
What I’m doing with my life
Too much and not enough. Looking for persistent answers to life's fleeting questions. Becoming a better me. Selling everything I own to the highest bidder so I can travel far and wide. Falling for geographically undesirable nerds. Collecting new friends from new places like trading cards so I have an excuse to visit them. And no, you can't have my shimmy card (It's autographed and quite possibly a nood.)

True to myself and the heresy of stripey socks in a Catholic clime, the imp inside begged to be set free and in that spirit, I live in the moment. And what a moment it is...
I’m really good at
I am moderately good at an astonishing number of things and really good at a less astonishing number of things.

Figuring out how mechanical things work. Building stuff that I picture in my head using dangerous power tools. Pretending I'm clever. Using a ten-second timer on a camera. Throwing insults with love. Writing (when I can get my ass in gear to do it). Being too loud and talking too much. Forgetting the names of things and people just when I need to access the information. Cooking high calorie and fat content dinners for people I care about. Giving gifts (but terrible at keeping them secret). Overdressing for almost every occasion. Not letting the fact that I'm overdressed stop me from doing something foolish involving chain-link fences or muddy inclines. Developing virulent strains of sock-induced priapism. Wearing heels. Laughing like an idiot. Making you love me.

Fun is a tantra-rific force of transformation whose body parts induce quantum leaps of consciousness so that lust morphs into samadhi. --GLily

Making hilarious journal comments. Flirting in such a way that you feel like the one person she *really* wants the most. Being there when you need her, saying the words that soothe your soul most effectively at that exact moment in time. Funwithliteracy's loving nature is bounded only by the outer reaches of the globe, if that. Hurt her, and I will come after you. No, really. Don't even think about it. --Junipurr
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am not invisible.

The obvious answer is "the socks, dummy!" but that's not it. It is the legs encased therein. Shapely, tantalizing gams, babycakes. Never underestimate the power of my legs.

I used to wrestle bears in my native Russia, so probably the claw marks.

My color-changing cock.

The first thing I noticed was her smile and shy sparkling eyes. It occurred to me almost immediately that I'd looked at her socks thumbnail so frequently that I had completely forgotten there was a face to see. I will never make that mistake again, thankfully, for she is a beauty. --Eavocative

She appeared to me on my Quiver, a vision of rainbow socks and scintillating words. The short snippet of interest shown to me spoke of Katherine Dunn, of dystopian futures, and film, music, and food. It was the words that grabbed me - a command of the language that demanded my attention and made me wonder for more. --Candlejack

A shock of red behind the wheel
A face, by mirth nor mourning lined;
Her laugh an effervescent peal
That bids me put my cares behind;
Her shining voice a brightened steel
That sculpts my rough unpolished mind.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn, which earns its own mention. My favorite authors are probably J.K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyer and Dan Brown.

Couldn't possibly list favorites in any of these categories. I am partial to Science Fiction (and dystopian futures specifically), but also literature, films and music from nearly any era and genre, and just about any food except green bell peppers. I love music that makes me want to dance on my bed naked or sing at the top of my lungs (badly) while driving.

Okay, someone gave me shit for not being specific. You are going to be so fucking sorry you asked. I'll start with films.

I fucking love films. Bad films, good films, foreign films, art films. I will watch anything, even if I end up hating it.

Yes, the list is alphabetised. That's what happens when you work in bookshops too long.
12 Monkeys • 28 days later • 2001 • 2046 • 3 o'clock high • 400 blows • a boy and his dog • alien • aliens • alphaville • altered states • amelie • american psycho • anchorman • the apartment • army of darkness • arsenic and old lace • back to the future • bad news bears • barton fink • beetlejuice • bell, book, and candle • better off dead • big lebowski • big trouble in little china • blazing saddles • blood simple • blues brothers • blade runner • brain dead (aka dead alive) • brazil • breakfast at tiffany's • brick • bring it on • bubba ho-tep • buckaroo banzai • bullitt • cabinet of dr. caligari • catch-22 • city of lost children • clockwork orange • colossus: the forbin project • contempt • the dark backward • dark city • das boot • dawn of the dead • day of the dead • dead man • delicatessen • die hard • donnie darko • down by law • dr strangelove • the dreamers • drop dead gorgeous • ed wood • edward scissorhands • elephant • empire strikes back • escape from ny • eternal sunshine of the spotless mind • evil dead • evil dead 2 • falling down • fear and loathing in las vegas • ferris bueller's day off • fight club • forbidden zone • gattaca • ghostbusters • ghost world • goodfellas • the good, the bad & the ugly • goonies • the graduate • the great escape • grosse point blank • halloween • harold and maude • heathers • heavenly creatures • hot fuzz • house of yes • in the mood for love • invasion of the body snatchers • the iron giant • it happened one night • jaws • kiss kiss bang bang • kontroll • labyrinth • lair of the white worm • lawrence of arabia • león • lethal weapon • let the right one in • mad max • magnolia • me and you and everyone we know • meet the feebles • metropolis • miller's crossing • midnight cowboy • miracle mile• mister roberts • mr mom • my own private idaho • mystery men • network • night at the opera • night of the hunter • night of the living dead • night on earth • nightmare before christmas • nights of cabiria • the odd couple • office space • oldboy • omega man • panic in year zero • pee wee's big adventure • playtime • point blank • primer • punch-drunk love • re-animator • repulsion • robocop • the royal tenenbaums • saddest music in the world • schizopolis • shallow grave • shaun of the dead • the shining • silence of the lambs • some kind of wonderful • starship troopers • stop making sense • taking of pelham 123 • tampopo • taxi driver • tell no one • thin man • the third man • to kill a mickingbird • toy soldiers • watership down • the year of living dangerously • young frankenstein • zardoz

Foods that make me especially happy: breakfast any time of day • BACON (and prosciutto and pancetta) • dark chocolate • dill pickles, olives and capers • blueberry pancakes • bananas • greek yogurt • unsweetened cranberry juice • perfect Caesar salads • gelato • toast • artichokes • sushi • pomegranates • garlic • gnocchi • avocados • toasted pumpkin seeds • mochi • ramen • black tea • panne cotta • cheese fries • biscuits and gravy

I am waging a personal campaign to make everyone watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, because it is brilliant and addictive. Anything involving Irishmen who have moved to London namely the wonderfully blunt and social terrorist Dylan Moran, even though like all Irishmen he can move home now as the famine is over.
Six things I could never do without
words. books. spectacles. gold lamé hot pants. camera. snogging.

Though she is persona, and image, and theatre on here, she feels real. I recognise her. I think she might be my spirit guide, or mother, or maybe she's my past life which I'm living at the same time as this one.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The price of flights to Dublin. Words. Surviving the zombie apocalypse. Words about surviving the zombie apocalypse. What I would do if I won the lottery. How intensely sexy funny men are. Sharper in his birthday suit. Why exactly I need to fear his booty. How often I can visit my e-GF. The fact that I love vekk because he is pure evil perfection. Procrastination.
On a typical Friday night I am
Letting loose the bloodhounds to find some dead hookers so I can spoon them. If you ask nicely, I might let you watch. And definitely not poking sharp sticks into turtles' stomachs then going up on stage and using them in a sick variant of a plate-spinning routine. At least, not on Fridays.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
fear is the mind-killer.

fearmybooty is the mind pleaser

my collection of dead hookers is the largest west of the Alleghenies.

There are ten untrue things on this profile. If you name them all I will deliver homemade cookies to your house.
You should message me if
You genuinely love books and films, and are generally sort of nerdy/geeky about these things. You laugh at things that probably shouldn't be funny. You laugh so hard you pee yourself a little at things that definitely shouldn't be funny. You need help finding alternative uses for goods from Target. You can afford $10 a minute. You were there the day the earth stood still.

If you want n00dz don't bother to message me, just send a wink and they'll be on their way.
The two of us