I am very critical with the whole concept of online dating. So much so, that I sometimes wonder what I am still doing here. I guess I'm still here because I find it hard to meet people "in the real world," and when you go to a bar, you can never tell (unless you outright ask them) what it is that they are looking for. Of course, we don't ask this when we meet people in bars because it's considered too personal of a question, which is ironic, in my opinion. And this sense of trying not to jump the gun much too fast is already part of our social DNA. So we turn to online dating to (hopefully) find people who are looking for similar things to us. But online dating offers many options (too many, in my opinion) and that can be very distracting. People also depend too much on the new technologies, and the new technologies have only enabled us to deal with important stuff in the most impersonal way possible (from saying hi to breaking up with someone, or to *signaling* somebody that you are not interested anymore by simply not responding, etc). It is really sad that it's come down to this...but anyway, this is really more conversation fodder than online profile material.
You are reading this probably because you liked my pictures and want to know if I have something interesting to say.
Well, of course I would much rather tell you who I am in person, but I guess that would defeat the point of this profile...I was born in NY to a Spanish housewife and an English UN economist. For reasons that I won't get into here, I grew up in Spain. My upbringing in Spain is something that has naturally marked me as a person and so I am looking for someone who not only has been to other countries, but has an appreciation for people from other cultures. Someone who sees a relationship as an opportunity to grow together and to enrich each other with new ideas, new values, and new perspectives (cultural and otherwise).
Please speak Spanish - I'm sorry but you are in Spain and must be able to speak the language of your host country.
Politically speaking, I'm in the middle of the road, as I think everybody should be. I don't like wearing "political labels," and I profoundly dislike the way in which being liberal has been generally construed (albeit with the media's help) as being hip, cool, and modern. In my opinion, there's nothing cooler than having a balanced opinion on different issues. It's okay to defy the general belief of what makes something "liberal" or "conservative." I think that having that balance is ultimately what makes someone a free-thinker and a real citizen of the world.
I've seen a lot of women out there who act more and more like dudes. I don't know if this is their way of claiming their right to be considered equal to men, but it's just not appealing to me. Someone who is comfortable being a woman with all the attributes that maker *her* a woman - strong, loyal, protective of her home and what she has. I know it's old-fashioned, but it's what I want. Of course, we live in a new era where we are all very busy and wrapped up around the idea of being "successful" individuals, but success starts at home, and I would like to meet someone who is old-fashioned in that way - someone who believes in the idea of leaving something important behind in this life, not *just* or *primarily* a great career.
I also would like to meet someone who puts some effort in describing herself here. That is, not the kind of person who only describes herself with lines such as "I like to laugh and have a good time" (don't we all?:-)) or "I enjoy living life to the fullest"- I run into these two phrases with an alarming frequency.
I'm looking for the kind of person who is a bit of a dreamer and gets *excited* at the idea of meeting / being in touch with someone she barely knows. Someone who is motivated by other things in life other than work, someone who appreciates the complexity of people and doesn't judge people too quickly - you focus on the journey, not the destination. Someone who is loyal and giving, not self-serving or egotistical or looking for "convenience" all the time; someone who doesn't give up easily and tries really hard to keep things together. I know it takes a while to get there, but I want this to be part of her DNA, not just an attitude stemming from special circumstances.
I like to keep things simple and straight forward. If you give me your number, please do so because you are really interested. I don't beat around the bush, and I will never tell you I'm too busy to make plans. Ever. I firmly believe that if there's a will, there's a way. If I like you, I'll go out of my way to make sure you know that. I expect the same from you. Acting unavailable or busy (especially in the early stages of a dating situation) is a turn off. By the same token, if for whatever reason, I realize that we don't have that much chemistry and I see you are interested, I'll let you know. I won't just stop replying to your messages and picking up the phone so that "you get the message." People don't have to be nice to each other only when they like each other.
I think I am a very approachable and easy person to talk to - I am analytical but not judgmental.
I'm very honest and I have very solid values which are at the core of my life. I live by the motto "Treat others as you would like to be treated."
OkCupid seemingly has the unique ability to bring out the bullshitter and flaky side of most people - if you know better, I'll be happy to hear from you.
Turning awkward moments into Okay moments.
Analyzing situations (I've recently been told that I should be a psychotherapist)
Hosting parties at my place!
Writing REAAAALLY LONG PROFILES!! :-)
I'll mention a few books that I like, though: The Catcher in the Rye, The Bonfire of the Vanities, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Devil's Candy.
I have a very eclectic taste in movies and I admit that the artistic value of some of them may be questionable: The Accidental Tourist, Taxi Driver, Heat, The Insider, Amadeus, Jerry Maguire, The Apartment, The Fortune Cookie, Kiss me, Stupid; About Last Night..., The Godfather I & II (although Part III wasn't bad at all), The Indiana Jones Trilogy, JFK, Any Given Sunday, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (I thought it was actually more relatable than the original), Drive, most of Pedro Almodóvar movies, My Night at Maud's, Barry Lyndon, The Shining, Batman (I saw it when it came out in '89 and it haunted me for years), Eddie Murphy's movies from the 80's and early 90s; Affliction, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Love & Other Drugs, Broadcast News, How Do You Know (though a commercial and a critical failure, it's really not a bad movie), After Hours, Lethal Weapon 1,2 & 4, The Dilemma, Knocked-up, Superbad, Crazy, Stupid, Love; most of Will Ferrell movies, and many more I can't think of right now!
Shows: The Sopranos (a real masterpiece - it's really too bad that it's over), The Simpsons (only if I happen to catch it on TV). I don't follow any shows at the moment, really.
Music: I'd have to give you my ipod's playlist to answer this one, but I could say that the 80s has a very special place in me. David Byrne/Brian Eno is definitely a favorite.
Food: Spanish tapas (of course), Mexican Food, Bar food (buffalo wings, nachos, etc), Italian, Chinese, Indian,...I like all types of food, really, although I once went to an Ethiopian restaurant and I wasn't too crazy about it! I'll try anything, though.
Something to put on?
Having my head in the right place
Meeting as many people as possible on OkCupid....(joke)
-How much I miss certain things from my life in NY: inviting people for barbecues, hanging out in the Village, nachos & wings...:-)
-What matters the most (ultimately)- what you are really like or how people see you (at work, friends, etc)
-How it's possible that there are people out there who can drive but can't fry an egg
- The distinction this website makes between being a "a good match" and being "a good friend", and what to make of potential matches who are 90% match but 50% Friend
-What's better - staying true to yourself or being able to accommodate to any kind of situation
- Whether a friendship evolving into a relationship is possible between a man and a woman
-The fact that if you are in your late 20s and early 30s (and beyond) are here (and I include myself) because your love life has been, overall, kind of sucky (for one reason or the other, and no matter how beautiful and special we all may be), so when I see people who "reply very selectively" makes me wonder what makes them feel entitled to be *very* picky
-How social media is changing the way we view relationships (everything seems more impersonal and distant than ever before)
- Why there are so many vegetarians on this website
-Whether people really make it this far into my profile
-Whether "online profiles" are like "curriculum vitae" that we just put on a pile in an obscure place in the back of our minds. Do we really take the time to think of the person behind the profile?
- Whether being too specific / detailed in a profile can backfire and make you look like you are too picky!
- Whether online dating really works and to what extent people take it seriously
- Why movie stars look a lot neater in movie roles than they do in real life
- This phrase: "Feminists stop being feminists when they get married"
-Why I hate Spanglish and / or when people speak Spanish and squeeze in words in English in order to seem cooler and more worldly
- What I should make for dinner when I get home, and whether something has been laying in my fridge for too long
-Why a lot of people write "love you/ya" and "miss you/ya", instead "I love you" and "I miss you."
-Why I seem to enjoy recycling
-Why you hear "Happy holidays" (and even "Happy Hanukkah") more often than you do "Merry Christmas"
-Why you run into more profiles of women who state that they like animals than you do of women who state that they like babies (perhaps because they fear that that's going to make the guy run for the hills? Hmmm)
-I see a lot of girls here who claim that they sometimes stay home on a Friday night having a glass of wine - do they actually do that or do they put that just because it sounds cool/sexy? (to me anyway;-))
Also, I tend to think about really random things, like whether the SNL cast gets together after the show every Saturday; and whether these comedians get to develop a strong bond overtime; to what extent actors are able to have normal lives (whereby they can hang out with other fellow actors, for instance), and why magazines only show you see celebrities hanging out with their significant other, and never just with friends (like other actors)
-you think of whomever is behind a dating profile as a real human being
-The fact that this admittedly long profile didn't stop you from reading it!
-you are NOT a vegan OR a vegetarian - I have dated a vegetarian in the past and it's just hard. Eating is one of the greatest pleasures in this world, especially when it's shared with someone you like. Showing reservations (even quietly) about certain food choices is a turn-off. I want someone who enjoys everything!:-)
-you don't use work or your incredibly busy schedule as a scapegoat (you truly believe that if there's a will, there's a way). Please don't tell me you want to focus on your career or yourself after our first or second date
you don't need to put things on your calendar in order to be able to keep up with your social life
you have honesty, integrity, empathy, and solid values
-you are proactive and adventurous and like to come up with things to do
-you are honest but you wouldn't consider yourself "brutally honest" (I think that term is really an euphemism for "insensitive" or "uncaring"). Crucial: knowing what to say and how to say it
-you *genuinely* want to get to know someone
If, according to this website, being intense is the opposite of being carefree, I guess I am intense (but in a good way)