Profession: Tied to a desk
Availability: Incredibly single.
So listen because I'm about to drop a nugget of truth on you.
I'm not going to pretend to be perfect. I'm not even going to pretend to be half okay with where I am. I live at my parents. I work too much. I'm overweight. I'm only pretty sometimes. I eat too much fast food and my car is littered with food wrappers. I smoke way too much. My room is never clean and I'm lucky if I shower every day. I'm the worst at responding and avoiding plans. But I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that because that's who I am. I'm not going to be anyone different and it's never going to be perfect and that's okay. I legit just someone that can let me be who I am around them and they not judge me. If that's you then great. Let's see if it works. But if that's not you. Stay the fuck out of my inbox.
*in the style of Rihanna*
Remembering actors names.
Knowing everything about Harry Potter.
Quoting movies you've never seen.
Angry all the time.
Ass so fat.
American Horror Story
Anything bingeworthy on Netflix.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Night At the Roxbury
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Wristcutters: A Love Story
Anything directed by Quentin Tarantino
John Green stuff.
Kurt Vonnegut stuff.
I don't read as much as I used to. That's sad.
My right hand
My glasses (contacts will suffice)
Shoes that don't require laces
My kitten, Bane. (He's currently missing and a piece of me is dying. I cry a lot right now because of this.)
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."
"Brick killed a guy...."
"I'm nobody's trophy, Goose"
"That's why momma named you Joe Dirt instead'a Nunamaker."
"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."
"I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. wanna see?"
Name these quotes.
Hit me up seriously. I'm so bored.
Disclaimer: If your first message has anything to do with...
1) A body part, yours or mine,
2) any implication of sex or inappropriate content,
3) Something you would not say in front of your mother or your daughter; or would not wish someone to say to your mother or daughter
...you will NOT get a positive response, but i assure you, you will get a response.