27San Bruno, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I hate describing myself. I can never seem to find that balance between egotistical and banal self deprecation, but I suppose that's just the damn millennial curse, isn't it?

I'm probably the most boring person I know in almost every way, and I can say with full confidence that being an adult is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm definitely smarter than your average bear, and I'm pretty fucking funny, but I'm also probably less so in both categories than I want to believe, but I do know that a lack of self confidence is not something I suffer from. All I want from life is to be the absolute best at everything I do.

If you want to know, just ask. Don't make it weird.
What I’m doing with my life
I moved to the Bay Area from Santa Cruz about 5 years ago, spent a year doing nothing but getting every last drop of partying out of my system, and have since settled down into a dull, adult life. I work about 60 hours a week and don't do much else. I'm remarkably great at what I do (it sounds easier than it is), and I genuinely love it, which makes me lucky, even if I am wasting away the golden years of my youth.
I’m really good at
Building ikea furniture, grilled cheese, chocolate chip cookies, jury-rigging just about anything, editing essays, and correcting your grammar. And no, "anyways" is not a word, I don't care if Webster's finally gave up and put it in a dictionary.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hardcore RBF. It's genetic.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Thank You For Smoking (the movie too, although for very different reasons)
Anything Jennifer Cruisie write (judge away)
Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
World War Z

Disney movies. And yes, I cry at the end.
V For Vendetta
Boondock Saints
And lots of others that I don't have the patience to name, but I love anything with gratuitous violence, explosions, superheroes, or really cute animals

L&O: SVU (although it's not the same without Detective Stabler)
Sons of Anarchy
The Walking Dead
New Girl

Food. What can I say? I love it. I eat it. It's satisfying. And I'm always down to try anything once. Except testicles of any animal, that just sounds weird and not very enjoyable.
Six things I could never do without
My phone, coffee, my best friend, good whiskey, internet access, human interaction
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, living it, things I should be doing with mine. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to do in the future, places I want to go, things I want to see, goals I'd like to accomplish someday. I use up a lot of brain space not thinking about certain things, and I try to fill that space with something else. I think about a lot of strange things as well, like how someone could ever decide that artichokes were going to be delicious, or why traffic cones are orange.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either out at Book Club, or at home watching Netflix. I live a wild life.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I love romance novels. No really, I love them, it's almost all I read.
You should message me if
You are fully aware that Family Guy is better than South Park, for every reason.
You can both define and correctly use the word "irony" in a sentence.
You've read a book in the past year that you didn't have to.
You never think it's cool to wear your hat sideways.
You have a favorite Mr. Sketch smell.
The two of us