"With online dating, everyone's so preoccupied with how good you are "on paper", which means very little. An algorithm can predict whether you'll get along well enough to hold a conversation, but it can't predict whether you'll like each other, so people get frustrated. Those match percentages and pre-date emails create an expectation that's often impossible to live up to. That algorithm ensures you won't want to slit each other's throats (usually), but you can't guarantee that shared political beliefs or a preference about your favorite cereal will create a spark."
I'm not certain about all this. Internet dating.....I dated a bunch of people, then I stopped and met someone in the real world who wasn't staring at her phone (she had a crappy phone). Once I did meet someone here and we dated for about a year, but she was from the midwest, and she was very nice and pretty and all, but people from the midwest are just so midwestern.
So I'll try this internet dating one last time. Did you hear me Internet-last chance.
It's all projection and often disappointment. Yet we beat on ceaselessly...
I'm supposed to talk about myself-how I'm open and adventurous, or things like that. But I'm not certain that my perspective on myself is accurate....doesn't anyone read Freud anymore....we are mysteries to ourselves most of all. You need to ask someone else about me. Maybe that isn't feasible. Probably not. Scratch that idea- they will only say grandiose things, and then I will disappoint you. Or your projections....the idealizations we project onto each other.....I don't know if I can live up to them.
I'm actually ok, regardless of your projections, and if you don't say you love me on the first date, that is totally cool. I mean, don't feel compelled to say that. No, really, though...don't say that on the first date. Seriously. Just tell me about your dog.
Tell me-why do so many women seem to have dogs? A boyfriend is more complicated, but worth the effort. That is true of me. I don't mind if you have a dog, but at some point you may have to choose which one you love more....you know...if there is a fire and you can only take one thing, and both me and your dog are unconscious from the smoke. Assume you could lift me. Would you take the dog, or would you take me? It's a tough choice and a terrible predicament, but it's part of a romantic comedy with a tragic ending that I am writing, and I don't know how to end it.
I play the mandolin, I like a good debate, I can be a smart ass but I'm really a caring person.....really. I'm a part time lawyer and musician. Do I contradict myself? I contain multitudes.
I am 50 in real life and am shocked by this fact, because I am nothing like my 50 year old friends. Dammit, now I am 51.I don't know what my profile says. I lost my birth certificate in the great storms. We lost so much...so much.
I have no pictures of myself hiking, or overlooking Machu Picchu. I'm sorry. I know it is practically mandatory, but I won't, e.g. hike in the rain. I will draw you a warm bath for you when you return. I stopped skiing when I realized that it hurt when I fell. It does hurt-it's like falling onto the sidewalk. I've stopped doing that too, so let's not do that as part of our first date.
I have no tattoos. Or, as someone once said, they are on my organs. There is a double dragon on my pancreas, but you will likely never see it.
If you have tattoos, I can live with that, although it is not Biblical, and since God talks to me (and only me) I know that my interpretation of the Bible is right.
No, that is completely untrue....I really dislike the Bible. But it does forbid tattoos. Useless knowledge....I have tons of that.
Yes, so really, right now I am really into my bands, yoga, gardening, food and using technology to improve my life. Internet dating..sure. Ebooks and podcasts...by all means. I'm definitely not a 9-5 type guy anymore, and Portland suits that. I think I may be a Portland cliche. Don't hate me.
If you take yourself really seriously, are always 'so busy', and have no sense of humor, we won't get along...just keepin it real. I don't get this always being busy. If you are a brain surgeon, have five kids, work for Gooogle, ok, you are busy.
And you can't be mean or angry, at least in an unhealthy way. I realize there is plenty personally and globally to be angry about, of course.
I don't care if you are really beautiful. Beauty is wonderful, but beautiful women, as a generalization, tend to be mean. You have to be nice. I'm looking for an honest, mutually supportive relationship. I will not buy you jewelry just to make you happy, because it won't make you-or me-happy. And it's expensive. Funky bracelets and earrings don't count as jewelry.
And I'm a secular Jew, which means, among other things like having mild asthma that I hate winter sports and will not go for a hike with you until June. Skiing is out of the question. That seems to eliminate 90 per cent of the women on this site. Everybody "loves the outdoors". So do I, especially in shorts and bare feet. But when it's cold and wet? That's why we have shelter.
I still think the books I read ten years ago, like the Corrections, are great. I need to read Franzen's new book. But my reading habits have changed a lot. I'm re-reading some David Foster Wallace on an iPad right now. I'm stuck ten years ago. I need to cancel my New Yorker subscription and all my RSS feeds. If you have an RSS reader and feeds, or know what the hell I'm talking about, that is very good.
I eat food every day and like most of it. Well, that Thai food last week was mediocre. Most popular movies don't do much for me other than make me angry at American culture. David O Russell, Darren Aronofsky, Alejandro Inarritu, Cuaron, Polanski have never made a bad movie, more or less. I will see their stuff and stuff like that. Romcoms and action flicks not so much. Children of Men was amazing. So was Memento. Okay, those are older. I just saw The Ghost Writer and it was very good. You should see it.
I have about 8000 songs on my iPhone. They are organized in groups as follows: New. Jazz. Move. Chill. Irish. Brazil. Rock. World. Old Time. Acoustic. Bluegrass. Jazz Vocal. Interesting. I listen to a lot of music. If you meet me I will force you to listen to Daniel Lanois or Chris Thile or Dirk Powell or Solas or Hem or Kelly Joe Phelps or Sharon Van Etten or Neko Case or Joy Kills Sorrow or Hot Rize or Wilco or John Scofield or Mike Doughty or Band of Horses or Aimee Mann or mid period Joni Mitchell or Calexico or Pauline Croze or Julie London or Peggy Lee or Tim O'Brien or Vasen or John Coltrane or Jenny Lewis or Jenny Scheinman or Gomez or Camper van Beethoven or The Reeltime Travelers. If you know and like a lot of these people or groups we will probably hit it off. I don't think a relationship can work if you don't have similar taste or appreciation of things like music.
I think I have been on OKC on and off for two or three years..I dated someone I met here for several months, and I dated someone I met in real life (it happens) for several months during that time. Yes, I took my profile down during those times.
I am SO tired of waking up and not knowing where I am or how I got there, broken glass everywhere, shivering and naked. Still, it keeps happening.
Also, I was raised by wolves. That's why I leave my house unlocked.....in the wild you have no doors. And locks? I never saw one.. See, we did not have anything to lock, and not much to steal but carcasses.
Still, don't stop by and take stuff from my house because I will hunt you down-I was raised by wolves, after all. Call of the wild and all that.
Also, you have to exist in the real world. And have good grammar.
What is non-negotiable:you have to exist. That's really, really important. Some profiles are fake.
And if you made it this far I assume you have a sense of humor reasonably compatible with mine.