giancarletto
33 Boston, United States
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giancarletto
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My self-summary
I am very passionate, intense, and playful. I make acquaintances easily, but true friendships and intimate relationships are difficult to find, especially as one gets older and more aware of himself. I'm incredibly curious, constantly evolving, dedicated, ambitious, always asking questions and trying to better myself.

I'd rather be alone than spend time with individuals that do not treat me with the same level of respect, care, and appreciation; remain static and follow trends like sheep; or judge others unfairly. In fact, I'm never bored, and I really enjoy the time I spend on my own.

I was born and educated in the US, but spent a good part of my childhood in Italy. I would describe myself as both Italian and American, but not Italian-American. I'm bilingual, and a dual-citizen. I carry two passports when I travel. Italian culture, music, films, and cuisine have always played an important and defining role in my life. However, I know enough and have seen enough of the world to know there are many beautiful places and equally fascinating cultures, languages, people, and environments. There is always more to explore and experience, and that's part of what makes life interesting and worthwhile.

I LOVE nice dinners, romantic evenings, great discussions, uncontrollable laughter, really intense sex, and playful flirting. Sitting at home together with a bottle of wine, a classic film, some jazz or lounge music, and a few lit candles is often the ideal for me... and preferable to bar-hopping, loud concerts, packed clubbing, or any other environment where it's impossible to hold a conversation, not that I don't occasionally take part in those activities with a sense of enthusiasm. It all depends on who I'm with.

Whether I spend a day, a week, a month or several years with someone, I want the time we spend together to be interesting, mischievous, fiery, and full of potential.

Often times I feel I'm too old (in terms of experience, perspective and maturity) for younger folks, and too young (in terms of attitude, energy and risk-taking) for older folks. This often leaves me on the outskirts of society, unable to relate to the wheel that most willingly, sometimes blindly, participate in.

Also intrigued by and enthusiastic about:
social justice, history, international affairs, human rights, politics, documentaries, feminism, traveling (25 countries so far on 4 continents), intellectual conversations, philosophy, organic food, the environment, free healthcare for the poor, a woman's right to choose, good governance, sustainable development, evolutionary biology, anthropology, psychology, paleontology, poetry, writing, black & white photography (favorites include Helmut Newton, Demarchelier, Avedon, Cartier-Bresson, Watson, and Ellen Von Unwerth), architecture, wine, fresh pasta, technology, secular ethics, fashion, individuals like George Carlin, Jon Stewart, Aung San Suu Kyi, Noam Chomsky, Eve Ensler, (anyone that makes me think on a very high level), NPR, This American Life, the Fresh Air podcast (loyal listener for over 15 years), The New York Times, The New Yorker, Think Progress, my weekly subscription to The Economist, utilizing social networks to create positive and progressive change, the Earth, the sun, and countless other subjects and activities...
What I’m doing with my life
I completed a masters degree at Columbia University a few years ago, which I found very rewarding and intellectually stimulating... but rather than accept the high-paying, secure job I was offered in DC, I decided to pursue a more creative, more challenging, individualistic path. I love this line from a Pablo Neruda poem: "perfecting my dream like a plant that seeds itself in the dark". It is a good summation of what I'm currently working on: an expansive research project that has the potential to lead me towards great achievements. I'll be happy to share further details with you in person. Here is the full poem:

"It’s good to feel you are close to me in the night, love, invisible in your sleep, intently nocturnal, while I untangle my worries as if they were twisted nets. Withdrawn, your heart sails through dream, but your body, relinquished so, breathes seeking me without seeing me perfecting my dream like a plant that seeds itself in the dark. Rising, you will be that other, alive in the dawn, but from the frontiers lost in the night, from the presence and the absence where we meet ourselves, something remains, drawing us into the light of life as if the sign of the shadows had sealed its secret creatures with flame."
~Pablo Neruda
I’m really good at
My doctor recently told me I have "beautiful cholesterol", so there's that! 😂

As far as strengths, I'm great at engaging others - from children to retirees - on a variety of subjects, self-deprecation, making people laugh, looking at subjects objectively, asking questions (and listening/making others feel at ease), utilizing my imagination, dreaming, communicating, designing, flirting, kissing, GGG, loving (most do not know how or are scared to), sharing my playful side, editing, witty comebacks, inspiring others (told this daily by individuals following me on social media, so I must be doing something right), telling detailed stories, using logic, reason, and evidence to support my arguments; staying up all night so I can absorb new books, films, journals, or something I'm fascinated by. I'm also extremely loyal and dedicated.
The first things people usually notice about me
It depends whether I have clothes on or not. 😉 I'm kidding. 😂 Well, maybe that's a defining and empowering characteristic better discovered in person, but it is absolutely relevant to our compatibility. 😈 If you think it's not then no point in giving me a hard time about it (no pun intended). Think something fun with great potential for your satisfaction, perhaps related to winning the genetic lottery. There's even a BOOK a friend gave me about the "challenges" faced. (That's a hyperlink, if you're smart enough to appreciate great satire - read the reviews - and have a healthy sense of humor... and if you don't we're probably not a great match anyway!)

On a more serious note and one that is less likely to get me into trouble, also based on what others have told me or noticed over the years: 😎

mouth/lips (often commented on), nice teeth/smile (I floss every day 😬 and I've never smoked a cigarette), dark hair/dark eyes, long eyelashes, strong/toned legs, several dates have complimented me on having "beautiful hands", openness of character, my sense of humor 🙃, my curiosity about life and the environment 🤔, my passion for the arts 🎨, my ability to be outspoken without being abrasive, my unwillingness to conform... I'm often described as having "a very old soul" (even though I don't believe in such things). 😊

Physically, I'm 6' tall, 175 lbs, and very well-built/toned. I'm into various forms of strength training from weights to pull-ups and trying to get into Pilates and yoga. I love running, and try and get in 30-40 hard miles/week when I'm not nursing any injuries. I'm in the best shape of my life, and even if I'm not in the gym, I bike and walk to most places. I'm not obsessive or self-absorbed about my body or the gym. I don't judge others or body-shame anyone. But I've always taken excellent care of myself and I eat well. I'm an endorphin junkie and love physical challenges. I like to feel and look great naked, and would like to sustain that confidence as long as possible. Ideally, being, getting, or staying fit is of some importance to you as well, if for no other reason than living a long, healthy life and keeping up with me at every turn. 😉
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A lot of people say this section doesn't matter, but I think the material you feed your brain and body is extremely relevant to who you are, your taste, your curiosity, and how much of the world you've exposed yourself to. It's similar to traveling and experiencing foreign cultures as a non-tourist.

Authors:

Faulkner . Mark Twain . GB Shaw . Neruda . Orwell . Shakespeare . Bronte . Wilde . Thoreau . Wharton . Melville . Emerson . Fitzgerald . Tennison . Hemingway. Eugene O'Neill . Dostoevsky . Baudelaire . Conrad . Dickens . Flaubert . Kafka . Nietzsche . Tolstoy . Freud . Rilke . Whitman ... I don't read a lot of contemporary fiction, because there just isn't enough time, but I'd like to in the future. I'd actually like to dedicate a year of my life towards literature, once I finish going through a set of films and series in my library.



Musicians/Composers:

Radiohead . Bjork . Sigur Ros . The White Stripes . Fiona Apple . Ennio Morricone . Beethoven . Mozart . Coltrane . Bach . Handel . Hendrix . Outkast . Beck . Gotan Project . Sinatra . A Tribe Called Quest . The Roots . Billie Holiday . The Smashing Pumpkins . Faithless . Tosca . Miles Davis . Ella Fitzgerald . Thelonious Monk . Etta James . Kruder & Dorfmeister . Buddha-Bar . Zero 7 . Shakira . Groove Armada . The Beatles . Saint Germain . Portishead . Lamb . Thievery Corporation . Goldfrapp . The Black Keys . Florence + The Machine, et al...



Filmmakers:

Fellini . Bergman . Hitchcock . Chaplin . Antonioni . Kubrick . Wilder . Kurosawa . Welles . Sturges . Keaton . Lubitsch . Cassavetes . Ozu . Melville . Tarkovsky . Visconti . Fassbinder . Kieslowski . Lang . Fuller . Godard . Truffaut . Mizoguchi . Buñuel . De Sica . Lumet . Kazan . Malick . Altman . David Lynch . PT & Wes Anderson . Jim Jarmusch . Woody Allen . Steve McQueen . Coen Brothers . Almodóvar . Bela Tarr . Wong Kar Wai



Best films I've seen in recent years:
12 Years a Slave (2013)
A Cold Wind in August (1961)
A Royal Affair (2012)
A Separation (2011)
About Elly (2013)
Adua e le compagne (1960)
Amour (2012)
Amy (2015)
Another Year (2010)
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)
Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013)
Carol (2015)
Dangerous (1935)
Days of Wine and Roses (1962)
Fruitvale Station (2013)
He Who Gets Slapped (1924)
I Knew Her Well (1965)
I Married a Witch (1942)
Le quattro volte (2010)
Leviathan (2014)
Mysteries of Lisbon (2010)
Omar (2013)
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
Possessed (1931)
Riso Amaro (1949)
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
Senso (1954)
Something Wild (1961)
State of Grace (1990)
Stranger by the Lake (2013)
Take Shelter (2011)
The Detective (1968)
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
The Mill & The Cross (2011)
The Portrait of a Lady (1996)
The Revenant (2015)
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold (1965)
The Turin Horse (2011)
The Uninvited (1944)
Tomorrow Is Forever (1946)
Un maledetto imbroglio (1959)
Wake in Fright (1971)

Documentaries: Fog of War . In the Shadow of the Moon . The Gatekeepers . Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide . Taxi to the Dark Side . A Man Vanishes . The Rape of Europa . When the Levees Broke . Hot Coffee . Elephant in the Living Room . Marwencol . Senna . Deliver Us from Evil . The Last Lions . Araya . Valentino: The Last Emperor . A Film Unfinished . Inside Job . Capturing the Friedmans . The Cove . Shoah . Planet Earth . Wonders of the Universe . Your Inner Fish (just watched this series and it BLEW my mind!), any film that features interviews with Joseph Campbell, Sir David Attenborough, Martin Scorsese, or Bill Moyers . anything directed by Ken/Ric Burns, Errol Morris, Werner Herzog, or Alex Gibney

"It's Not Television": PBS (Nova . Frontline . Nature . Charlie Rose . American Experience . The McLaughlin Group) . Six Feet Under . BREAKING BAD . The Sopranos . BUFFY The Vampire Slayer . Curb Your Enthusiasm . Seinfeld . Inside the Actor's Studio . 60 Minutes . The Daily Show . LOST . South Park . In Treatment . The Twilight Zone . The Wire . Thriller . X-Files . Alfred Hitchcock Presents . Dexter . Rome . Lie To Me . Justified . The Hour (BBC) . Fringe . Sherlock . House of Cards

Painters: Renoir, Caravaggio, Gentileschi, Picasso, Degas, Titian, Vermeer, Claude Monet, Edouard Manet, Toulouse-Lautrec, Van Gogh, Tamara de Lempicka, Mary Cassatt, Edward Hopper, Morisot, Cézanne, Turner, Fragonard, Delacroix, Velazquez, Modigliani, Goya, Klimt, Bruegel, Munch, Sisley, Joseph Wright of Derby, Egon Schiele, Bosch, Kent Williams, Francis Bacon, Gerhard Richter, Mark Ryden, Kandinsky, Shag, Matisse, John Singer Sargent, Georgia O'Keeffe, Gauguin, Tintoretto, Rubens, Botticelli, and many more...

Food: I grew up in a traditional Italian family with traditional Italian cooking, so my appreciation and palate for amazing and delectable food is quite expansive :-) I'm always open to trying new foods from far and away places of the world, and if it's fresh and cooked with the right spices, I will probably love it.
The six things I could never do without
Essential components to my life include: knowledge and self-awareness, artwork that inspires me, human emotion, personal expression, passion, resolve, homemade food and wine, integrity, my sense of humor, independence, consistency, dedication, and privacy... As far as personal possessions, I'd have to include the immense archive of material I've gathered for my research over the past 5 years (10k+ films, books, art-related prints). The discovery and re-discovery of these items keep me intellectually and creatively sated a fair amount of the time. It also fills a void that I would probably fill if I could live a hundred lifetimes, travel to every corner of the globe, and interact/experience so much more than humanly possible.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The state of the world (overpopulation, over-consumption, peace/conflict, shifting power dynamics, equality, questions of universal morality vs tradition); Climate change and the growing crisis of the failing and fragile ecosystem humans rely on in order to survive and prosper as a species; Congress' ability to undermine an elected President, whom 60 million citizens voted for, simply because he's black and racism and ignorance are alive and well (and an industry corporate interests promote and feed upon); Making a positive impact within this chaos we call a "civilized society"; Developing my potential as an aspiring writer, filmmaker, archivist, and activist; Upsetting the status quo, overturning the 'establishment'; Creating a unique vision that challenges others' perceptions and traditional values; How I can improve myself as a living, breathing organism on this unique, life-affirming planet; If I'm capable of monogamy and denying what often feels like a natural, sexual appetite and curiosity for new experiences; Leaving behind some kind of legacy, and what the future holds for the rest of humanity when I'm gone...
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing, editing, working out, reading, attending screenings, drinking wine, or all of the above... You're welcome to join me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You have to believe in me, in order to understand and appreciate where I am in my life, what I want to do, and why it is important to me... I refuse to adapt myself to others' expectations or desires of who I "should be", rather than who I firmly believe I "could be".

My primary endeavor at the moment is research. I also run a small antiquarian business online. What I make gets re-invested in my creative pursuits, typically books, films, computer equipment, cameras, etc... As Steve Martin says, "Be so good they can't ignore you." That's what I'm trying to do.

I sometimes play with the age number on my profile to see if I'll match more frequently with individuals I might want to meet. I look late 20s/early 30s, but I'm a bit older than that. Not trying to mislead anyone. Pictures are dated and most are recent.

My closest friend recently told me that the reason I have such a difficult time connecting with others is because I'm Owen Wilson's character in 'Midnight in Paris', and everyone else is Rachel McAdams's. If you've seen the film, you'll know what that means. If you haven't, you should add it to the top of your queue.

The eccentric, exuberant, intelligent, flamboyant author and filmmaker John Waters had this to say on the subject of sex, which I relate to and found interesting: "I know that true love is supposed to be companionship, growing old together, blah, blah, blah. I thought that's what friends were for, not sexual partners. Some of us want hot, lunatic, porn sex and we want it forever. I have great friends that I grow old with, that know everything about me, that I'm intimate with, intellectually and everything, but if I'm going to go to the trouble of living with somebody, sharing my life with them, I want great sex. I don't understand not doing that. I understand both things, but to me they're separate - that I have friends that supply all that, and if I'm going to have a partner I want to have great sex with them." ... I'm including this because I empathize with that line of thinking. I have a very healthy desire for intimacy, affection, friendship, and passion. If I'm going to date or be in a serious to semi-serious relationship with someone, I want it to be hot and sexy and fun for the duration of our time together, whether it's a day or a lifetime. If that's missing or if you're very prudish, indifferent, or traditional when it comes to this subject, or if you're not open to exploring the depths of your sexuality with the right person, we're probably not compatible, at least as long-term lovers. I'm not exclusively interested in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. I want and need it to be uninhibited and playful throughout our relationship, even if it requires some creativity, time, and effort, even if we were to start a family. I have friends that only fuck their wives once a month "if they're lucky" (their words). That's never going to be me. I'd rather be single.

Also, while on the topic of sex, everyone should watch this and educate themselves on the beauty of the foreskin and the evils of circumcision. I find this nurse's reflections on the topic incredibly eye-opening, informative, and highly relevant on a subject most people are ignorant about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgoTRMKrJo4

Also, if you've been sexually active in recent months, whether you've used condoms or not, and haven't been tested, please do so before meeting me (not saying that to be presumptuous). I would ask your results before considering sleeping with you. And if there's anything I need to know about your sexual history beforehand, an incurable std transmission or such, please tell me before we develop a connection over email, so I can decide if it's something I'm willing to consider worth the risk in exploring a relationship with you. My health is really important to me. It should be to you as well.
You should message me if
There's a quote by the German poet Rilke: "I want to be with those who know secret things, or else alone." The words are representative of what I feel, and what I'm looking for ― someone unique and out-of-this-world to spend time with ― a woman of substance to enjoy the present (possibly the future), who brings added inspiration, passion and intensity to my days ― a woman that is intellectually stimulating, sensually curious, rebellious, creative, and confident in herself and in what she has to offer another... someone consistent and not afraid to take risks or seize the moment.

I'm open to anything from a friendship to a short-term or long-term relationship. The longevity of our relationship would depend on the chemistry and connection that we have together, where life takes us, and how we relate to one another over time... as long as we are honest with each other and upfront about our past, our present, our needs, and our desires. I would much rather have an intense, but brief, experience with someone who may not be my "perfect" match than never have had the opportunity to spend time with that individual at all... but that doesn't mean I'm not open to a lot more with the right person, in fact I would prefer that. If I'm meeting you, it's important to me, and I hope you feel the same way. Also, I do NOT ghost people. So if that's your modus operandi, let's not even bother. Unless someone is a potential stalker or harassing you, there's no reason a simple "It was nice meeting you, but..." isn't an option when someone writes and makes an effort to see you again. I know. Communication requires balls and tact, but it's part of being an adult.

If you'd like to connect on Facebook. I use social networks to share many of my artistic and activist pursuits, interests and goals. I have a public fan page, and an open door policy on friend requests through my profile, if you're curious about my work, my reviews, and my passion for photography and the arts. I've made some nice acquaintances through OkCupid and social networks are an interesting testing ground to see how well you communicate or how alike you are over time, especially if you're hesitant or too busy to meet at the moment.

Whether we communicate or not, watch THIS (it's a hyperlink to a TED Talk by Brené Brown on "The power of vulnerability"), and please be a better, more compassionate, more empathetic person, not just for the benefit of others but for yourself.
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