33Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
"Babe we both had dry spells,
hard times in bad lands,
I'm a good man...for ya...
I'm a good man."

(RED FLAG #1) Current approximate word count: 1200

I'd rather you read this than my profile (AKA TLDR):

A coworker happened upon my Twitter account and said that my self-summary there was absolutely perfect, so I include it now for your edification:
Brooklyn based lighting designer. Caring about things most people never notice and obsessing over ideas nobody else wants to think about.

I tend to exude a certain detached dryness, but I promise that's just a cover.

According to OKCupid I am "more experienced in life" when compared to other "straight men [my] age." Can somebody explain what the fuck that means? Is that code for cynical and world-weary? (RED FLAG #2)

I identify as queer, but my relationships are with women only. Also, I kind of hate that word, mostly because it seems so stupid in the modern world to use labels on sexual identity. Maybe I should start saying that my sexuality is Glenn.

Also, does OKCupid put anyone else in mind of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner? Specifically I keep hearing the verse:
Water, water, everywhere,
and all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
nor any drop to drink.

Does it annoy anyone else that the iPhone app seems to destroy (or at least ignore) embedded HTML text styling?
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a designer at an architectural lighting design firm. Yes it's a real field, no I'm not an engineer, no I don't design cool media façades with LEDs (full disclosure, I currently have a project with a potential media façade, I'm hoping they won't want to spend the money on it), no I'm not an architect, yes it's interesting, and no you probably won't care about 90% of what I have to say about it.

I've probably worked on something you've seen. You probably didn't even realize someone did what I do.

(RED FLAG #3) I keep thinking about writing a book and then putting it off. You should know that this isn't a novel, more a manifesto, I would prefer to characterize it as a treatise. It has something to do with lighting, so you probably aren't that interested. But I will say that it is part design critique, part sociological analysis, part feminist theory, and part linguistic experiment. Basically I am pretty much insane (please describe as quixotic in any communication with me so as not to damage my delicate psyche).
I’m really good at
(RED FLAG #4) Knowing the answers to questions nobody cares about.

Most germane to you, dear reader, is that I'm really good at talking about something long after the rest of the room has lost interest. (RED FLAG #5)

PS-I can portmantoe-the-line with the best of 'em.
The first things people usually notice about me
"You're good at math, right?"

Yes, I am, but that doesn't make you less of a racist asshole.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(RED FLAG #6) I think that it's kind of a rip that these are always the prompts/categories for an interests section. What about my favorite designers (I seriously think that reveals more about who I am than the food I like), what about my favorite brand for pens (Uni-ball, Pentel Sign Pens & Staedtler), what about my favorite LED manufacturer (Xicato & Cree), or what about my favorite tree (Japanese Maple). I wonder what it says about our society that "books, movies, music, & food" are the things assumed to be most telling of who we are, or just the thing we will all have specific preferences regarding. Anyway, I digress.

Current Read(s): Miracle of the Rose by Jean Genet
Previous Read: The Sunlight Pilgrims by Jenni Fagan

Authors: Murakami, Nabokov, Neal Stephenson, John Brunner, DFW, Kenzaburo Oe, Dave Eggars, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Bill Bryson, and so many more.

Playwrights: Orton, Stoppard, Hare, Coward, Deavere Smith, Brecht, Ibsen, and Churchill.

Plays (I've seen): Brand New Ancients; Here Lies Love; The Pillowman; Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson; The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity; Money (at Shunt, message me if you've seen this and want to talk about it...seriously); Take Me Out; Sinner; Betrayal; Crave (ok, only a staged reading, but that's ok for this one in my mind); Question Time; and Play Without Words.

Movies: This list is really, really impossible. It would take up pages & pages. I will say that I deeply identify on a personal level with High Fidelity (RED FLAG #7) and on a cultural level with Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

TV: I think there has been something of a renaissance in television of late and will shamelessly admit I kind of love it. Standouts from the semi-recent past include: House of Cards, Comedy Bang Bang, Mad Men, Battlestar Galactica, Walking Dead, Flight of the Conchords, Game of Thrones, Friday Night Lights, Archer, Community, Shameless (US version, haven't seen the UK one yet), The Office (US and UK), The IT Crowd, Downton Abbey, The Trip, and 30 Rock are favorites of the recent past. Digging through the archive I find: Firefly, Arrested Development, Sports Night (if you have seen this show and love it we should talk because I am always trying to convince friends (usually unsuccessfully) to watch it), Coupling (UK), and Mr Show to really stand the test of time. Oh, and I have a fondness for HIMYM because I may actually be Ted Mosby. (RED FLAG #8)

Music (recently): The Civil Wars, The Head and the Heart, Jukebox the Ghost, Langhorne Slim, Josh Ritter, Frightened Rabbit, Lost in the Trees, Dirty Projectors, Andrew Bird, The New Pornographers, The Jezabels, The Tallest Man on Earth, Bon Iver, Rilo Kiley, Pokey LaFarge, Savoir Adore, Purity Ring, Hannah Georgas, The Blow, The Mountain Goats, Crooked Fingers, The National, Menomena, Metric, Ben Lee, Belle & Sebastian, Pedro the Lion, The Eels, Smetana, Glass, and Bartok.

Radio (ok, Podcasts really): 99PI, This American Life, Wiretap, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Invisibilia, Criminal, The Truth, Snap Judgment, Ask Me Another, On The Media, Radiolab, Freakonomics, Planet Money, The Nerdist, and Car Talk.

Food: Good food. I'm a believer in Michael Pollan's philosophies largely. I eat just about any cuisine. Bonus should we date: I'm pretty decent in a kitchen.
Six things I could never do without
-Fetish properties (books, vinyl, well designed things)
-Art (visual, applied, performance, whatever)
-Conversation (debate really, but in a friendly-ish way) (RED FLAG #9)
-April to November (this past year was a fucking joke, really guys, really? (AKA the typical thoughts of a Red Sox fan (RED FLAG #10)))
-AGI32, Ecotect, AutoCAD, Revit, & Creative Cloud (unfortunately)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Thinking. I'm so very meta. (RED FLAG #11)
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to be high-brow.

Often being low-brow.

Wondering why I didn't come up with Friday night plans.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I cry during sappy sports movies.

I judge you for using a head-shot as your OKC profile picture. This is because I may or may not be an elitist asshole (hint: it's not the latter (RED FLAG #12)).
You should message me if
(RED FLAGS #13-16)

You think it would be fun to sit & have a cup of coffee and watch me be slightly awkward in conversation.

You want your love life to resemble this:

You will be disappointed if your child does not live up to this standard:

Bonus points: you're kinky and submissive.
The two of us