37Guilford, United States
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My self-summary

I have no particular expectations out of this site. I suppose I'd like to find people out there who are similar to myself, there aren't that many of them in my life.

Though I'm single and would rather not be, I'm not actively dating right now. I'm open to it, but haven't been pursuing it just because my job sucks and it makes more sense to pursue a more liberating income. So at present new friends are all I'm looking for here (though I occasionally cave to the part of me that says "to hell with practicality, I want a girlfriend" and browse/message), or perhaps someone who might be more than a friend someday, if we're both still available when that becomes a possibility. I don't use the site very actively right now, so it may be a long time before I see a given message.
However, if you read through this profile and decide that we're too good a match to ignore, you can of course message me in pursuit of that, and who knows, we'll see what happens. Please understand though that if you don't hear back for a long time, it's not that I'm ignoring you, it's that I haven't logged in since you messaged.

Okay, rant done. (Ha, but if you think that was long-winded, this may not be the profile you want to read. Seriously, see how long it takes you to scroll down. It's like an autobiography on here... in one long narrow column. Like toilet paper. An autobiography on toilet paper. Probably appropriate.)

I've written a lot here, but if you take the time to read it all, I think you'll have a pretty good understanding of me and what you can expect. If nothing else, it might be a good read.

Multiculturalism and globalism are important to me. Not just culturally (though it would be nice if more people embraced other music, film, food, literature and ways of life than their own), but trying to see the viewpoints of others. I'm not sure quite how to put it. If a pessimist and an optimist are arguing whether a glass is half full or half empty, I try to accept that they're both right-- neither has a less valid point and they'd both be better off if they just tried to understand why the other sees the glass the way they do. Of course this applies to everything from politics to religion to culture, not just debates about the capacity usage of liquid containers (hint, the correct answer is that unless there's a vacuum involved, the glass is full, half with fluid and half with air :P)

So the weird paradox of it is, there are so many people who have a static view of life and of other people-- and I'm trying to see things from their perspective. The universe is comedic genius.

If you want to know more of what is going on in my head philosophically, my politics, etc., most of my journal on here is filled with such things. Or not. This profile is obscenely long as it is, without clicking on even more.

A few things about me:

- I don't watch sports. I don't regularly play them, though I can be goaded into it. I'm not too competitive so I'd rather just hit the gym, which isn't really my style either. (Playing with my cat gets me plenty of exercise, anyway. That little maniac could tire out an Olympian. Either kind.) No one I know really plays any sports anyway. But watching them? I never really saw the point.

- I am a cuddle whore. Though my ideal relationship does include at least some level of sexual activity at some point, I could be content in an abstinent relationship. What I need is my cuddlin'! Hug me, use me as furniture, whatever! I's a 6'8" teddy bear and I need me some cuddlin'! Ladies be warned: if you enter a romantic relationship with me-- you will be cuddled incessantly!

- The huge lists of favorites below probably make me look like I never leave the house. While I do enjoy a comfy evening, preferably with friends or a significant other, sitting and watching movies or playing games, I like some variety and moderation. I'm not the most physically or socially active person, but I do like to get out and hike, shop, travel, butcher songs in karaoke, loiter, whatever. The scope of those lists is more a reflection of my inability to categorize or pick single favorites, my obsessive need to detail everything, and my desire to meet existing fans or expose potential ones to great works of art.

-I entered "dislikes dogs" under details, though it doesn't give one many options or any ability to elaborate, so let me do so here: I don't hate dogs, I'm just not comfortable around them in general, probably because I was raised around only cats. So I can be tolerant of them, but am usually a little put off by the tiny noisy kind and the big slobbery kind, but could see myself maybe warming up to the chill kind of "mid-range" dogs, like maybe a basset hound or a welsh corgi.

- I'm not a fan of talking on the phone. IMing and email are fine, and talking in person is great, but for some reason I don't like chatting on the phone. I make quick calls to exchange necessary information, but I find long talks about whatever comes to mind are better done in person or over IM. This doesn't mean I won't talk on the phone, I just don't prefer it.

-I like BBWs (big beautiful women. Or full-figured, or curvy, whatever term you prefer), but not exclusively. I appreciate all body types, though I have dated more of the aforementioned type than others. Some people seem to have a misconception, though, that "he likes big girls, and he likes me, so he must think I'm overweight", which is not the case, I simply like all builds equally. That idea is no more valid than a blonde thinking "he likes brunettes, and he likes me, so he must think I'm brunette".

-Those who are easily offended should be warned that I'm a firm believer in a quotation by George Carlin (which I will now hideously paraphrase): "It's the duty of every comedian to find out where the line is drawn and then deliberately cross it." This is not to say I think all humor needs shock value; much of mine doesn't have it and I appreciate many things that don't... but my palette does include humor offensive to a lot of people, especially in my comics (I fully expect to be lynched once I start posting them online). I keep it reigned in when I'm not sure of the sensibilities of those present, but my irreverent side is always ready for times when inappropriate is appropriate.

-A lot of the match questions on here bother me with their narrow scope. Notably, ones that judge people for a belief or interest. "If your partner turned out to be racist or aroused by children/animals/urine/whatever, would you leave them?" Answering this "no" makes you sound like you are the same. But just because someone I care about has an upsetting viewpoint or unappealing fetish or really any unshared quality, that doesn't mean I will shun them for it. If it's someone I care about, doesn't it make more sense to stay and try to open their mind, change their viewpoint, or discourage acting on an immoral or illegal fetish? If someone leaves you over such a thing I guess they didn't care about you that much. I would also hope that if I answer a question in such a way that it is a point of contention for someone who is interested in me, that they would message me about it and discuss it rather than just writing me off based on the limitations of a multiple choice answer. They've recently made a great improvement to this by adding an explanation field, though it'll take me a long time to go through the thousand or so questions I've answered.

-Another question on here that bothers me is the open relationship question. I have only had monogamous relationships. I have never cheated on a girlfriend and never intend to. Though I am monogamous, however, I do have several friends who are polyamorous and recommend it. If asked to have such a relationship by a person I'm interested in, I would probably agree, though I might or might not seek additional relationships (and if I didn't, that would not mean I expected the same of my partner). My openness to trying that lifestyle should not be taken as an indicator that I would cheat in a monogamous relationship or even desire to.

-I am all for proper English, with correct grammar and spelling. However, if you are going to avoid anything to do with me because I decide not to use any caps or use the occasional "net" abbreviation in an email or IM (or my profile for that matter; I think I was in a rush somewhere and didn't capitalize) then you are letting a pet peeve rule you and probably missing out on great interactions with some intelligent, educated people who just happen to be a little lazy when it comes to typing informally.

-I rant sometimes. Can you tell?

Kinds of times you might spend with me if you develop a relationship with me...

1. Cuddling watching a movie or television. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes it's nice to just cuddle and watch something together.

2. Osmosing the scenery. Maybe it's trite or weird, but I often enjoy stargazing, seawatching, or stormseeking-- just enjoying the atmosphere. It helps if it's cool out and not buggy. It'd be nice to have company for this. Just cuddling up together and appreciating the show that nature's always got on that few watch.

3. Wandering. Pick a direction or a place we've never been and just go there. Enjoy the drive, see the sights. See if there are any interesting shops, and hopefully a good place to eat. This isn't always feasible with the state of gas prices, but it's usually worth it even if you don't find anything interesting, as long as you've shared the trip with someone interesting.

4. Gaming. Probably not on dates (unless you want to, that's fine), but boardgaming is common among my friends (I also make the damn things, so they're kinda everywhere in my life) so when we're spending time with mutual friends it may come up a lot.

5. Shared cooking, learning, etc. It's up to you, but I've cooked with girlfriends sometimes in the past (well, more like she cooked while I washed n' peeled veggies or whatever else she had me do, but close enough) and enjoyed it, and would like to again from time to time if you're open to it. Also, I like the idea of taking classes together, like learning some style of dance or something. Just a thought.

The following are some of my flaws. Yes, the bad stuff. Why hide it? You'll find out about them if you start spending time with me anyway, and if they're going to be a problem for you maybe this will save you some time.

-Punctuality is not my strong suit. If being late can be considered an art form, then I am a master of tardiness akin to Da Vinci, or Mozart, or the person that invented the bean bag chair. I am occasionally on time for things, but I can guarantee you that at some point in knowing me I will either be late to meet you somewhere or make you late to someplace you're going with me.

-I can be very anal... er, you know what I mean. I border on the obsessive-compulsive. This has gotten better over the years, but I am frequently a perfectionist in matters of little importance. That's another one right there-- I have mixed priorities sometimes. This also lends to my tendency to be incredibly indecisive. I know firmly where I stand on major life debates like abortion and capital punishment and politics and religion... but ask me what flavor ice cream I want or which CD to play-- and I will take a pointlessly long time deciding.

-I am variably messy. I keep things like books, CDs, DVDs, and so on very neat and organized, yet my living environment is usually cluttered with papers, bags, knickknacks and such. It is always clutter, however, not uncleanliness in the sense of dirt/fluids/old food/etc... that's just nasty. Okay, unless you count dust. There's a fair amount of dust around here. ( *narrows eyes, grabs vacuum cleaner, shouts battlecry, fails miserably* )

-I am easily distracted and at times, very lazy. Though more often the former, both lead to the same result of things I set out to do not getting done, or at least not right away. It can also mean I have a short attention span. I am working to improve my focus, but it is an uphill battle. What were we talking about? :P

-I sometimes wonder if I'm too open-minded. It can add to the aforementioned indecision, make me waste time dealing with potential instead of likelihood, and it also means I play devil's advocate a lot. Trying to see everyone's side of things is usually a good thing, but when people are overwhelmingly on one side of an issue, trying to be diplomatic about the other view, even when I personally disagree with it, can piss a lot of people off.

-Some people have told me before that I sounded like a jerk/snob/something in that vein of obnoxiousness. Others have told me those people misread me or just suffer from butthurt. Regardless, I guess I can come off like a know-it-all or a dick or some variety of seriously offensive at times. It's not intentional (the non-serious offensiveness is, of course, but I find that people usually have no trouble telling those two apart). I appreciate being called on it, and hope anyone doing so will try to sort it out with me rather then just brushing me off and telling people I'm an asshole.

-Some people also seem to think I'm a negative person, which couldn't be further from the truth... I'm just pragmatic. I guess you could say I'm a practical idealist, or an optimistic realist, or something along those lines. I tend to have an attitude of "I/we can do it! But here are all the reasons I/we might not be able to. I welcome suggestions as to how to surmount them." It's important to believe yourself and to not sabotage yourself with a self-defeating attitude, but it also does no good to ignore the obstacles you face and not approach them rationally. For some reason, though, I know a lot of people who take any realistic assessment of a problem as being defeatist.

Well, was that honest enough for you? Hopefully I've not forgotten anything, so you'll be prepared for both my charming intricacies and my infuriating quirks. Do read on...

What I’m doing with my life

Wandering around in that weird transitional period where it's not so much about what you want to do with your life but how to go about doing it, and who to take along for the ride...

Selling my creative works online while trying to find better employment in this burst rectal polyp of an economy, working a strenuous job that gives me terrible pay and hours, and working (unpaid) for a convention.

Struggling with the problematic pairing of having several distinct, lauded talents and a complete lack of promotional skill to sell anyone on creations made with them.

Contemplating starting a dating site for sasquatches, chupacabras, minotaurs, etc., and their admirers, called "OKCryptid". Given my height and fuzziness, I might find a nice sasquatch-lovin' girl there.

I've given up on finishing my college education, since it's a ton of time and money for an increasingly meaningless degree. (I've lost count of the number of college graduates I know who are unemployed long-term or are in entry-level jobs you'd expect a high school student to have. And many of them are still paying off student loans.) Tenacity and self-education are a much more practical means of pursuing anything I still want out of a college education.

I've recently started publishing board games and card games that I make. I'm also working on other projects (mostly writing and comics).

Whatever I ultimately do with my life, it must be something creative. I don't have it in me to suppress my muses.

I’m really good at
Writing, illustration, mathematics (Yay! Um, yay? Anyone? Uh, I guess not). Coming up with strange ideas. Imagining possibilities. Procrastinating and getting distracted. Cuddling. Being furniture. Destroying furniture. Seeing the beauty in any given person. Randomness. Spelling. Correctly spelling. Correctly spelling words that I have no earthly business knowing how to spell correctly. Using my fingers. ;) Flipping off life as it passes me by. Extensive, useless trivia about a very specific group of subjects that never seems to come up in any sort of trivia game that I am participating in (but which frequently come up in bars and restaurants with Jeopardy on the TV, where my knowledge of the correct answer does not phase Alex Trebek at all, no matter how loudly I shout at the screen. (Correct question, whatever. Dammit, Jeopardy, your attempts to be different aren't impressing the other game shows.)) Thinking outside of the box. For instance, wouldn't that box make a lovely hat? Refraining from being 100 percent serious. (Or even 60% serious. My lack of seriousness is that serious.)
The first things people usually notice about me

That I am insanely tall. This is always pointed out to me, which is good, 'cause, I didn't know. Hadn't a clue. ASIDE from that, sometime within the first hour or two of knowing me people tend to point out that I'm a bit eccentric. I don't know what they're talking about. I think I'll go slap them with a squirrel dipped in lavender paint until they take it back. I'm just kidding. That's no way to change someone's mind and it'd be cruel to the squirrel. (Not just the use as a weapon, but the color. Squirrels totally can't pull off lavender, cerulean blue would look much better on them.)

I guess people also quickly notice that I get quieter in large groups. The better I know someone or the fewer people there are, the more talkative I get.

I also dress very casually. T-shirt and jeans, which often look like they don't fit quite right. But if they're comfortable, I can really give a rat's ass what I look like. I hate putting up appearances.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

FAVORITE LITERATURE- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Complete Works of Charles Fort, anything by H.P. Lovecraft ("The Cats of Ulthar" is a particular favorite), Romance of the Three Kingdoms, The Count Of Monte Cristo, the Dune series, Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion, short stories and novellas by Ursula K. Le Guin, Othello, Hamlet, anything by John Dechancie. I like reading but I am a very slow, analytical reader and i get easily distracted, so I don't get to read nearly as much as I want to.

FAVORITE GRAPHIC NOVELS- Transmetropolitan, Arsenic Lullaby, Battle Angel Alita, Nausicaä of the Valley of Wind, The Adventures of Barry Ween, anything by Jhonen Vasquez

FAVORITE WEBCOMICS- Cyanide & Happiness, xkcd, Chaos Life, Axe Cop

FAVORITE MOVIES- The Salton Sea, Fight Club, Legend of 1900, Pi, The Shawshank Redemption, Gattaca, Waking Life, Revolver, Poolhall Junkies, Whale Rider, Everything Is Illuminated, Last Night, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, SLC Punk, The Boondock Saints, Emperor and the Assassin, The Usual Suspects, The Wind That Shakes The Barley, Donnie Darko, The Wrong Guy, How To Kill Your Neighbor's Dog, Koyaanisqatsi, Brick, Primer, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Princess Bride, Fat Man and Little Boy, Renaissance, V For Vendetta, Life Is Beautiful, Ordinary Decent Criminal, Willard, Snatch, Glory, John Dies At The End, Empire of the Sun, the Horatio Hornblower films, Krull, Payback, Cabin In The Woods, the original Star Wars trilogy, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix, anything by the Coen brothers (Miller's Crossing, The Big Lebowski, The Hudsucker Proxy, No Country For Old Men, etc.), Akira Kurosawa (Ran, Yojimbo, Rashomon, Dreams, etc.), Takeshi Kitano (Kikujiro, Brother, A Scene At The Sea, Fireworks, etc.), Kevin Smith, Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run, The Princess and the Warrior, Heaven, Perfume- The Story of a Murderer, etc.), Quentin Tarantino, Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, The Professional, La Femme Nikita, Angel-A, etc.), James Cameron (The Abyss, Terminator 2, Aliens, etc.), Hal Hartley (Henry Fool, The Book of Life, No Such Thing, etc.), Jim Jarmusch (Night on Earth, Coffee and Cigarettes, Dead Man, etc.), or Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern, To Live, Hero, House of Flying Daggers, etc.), Christopher Nolan (Following, Memento, The Dark Knight, Inception, etc.). I could go on forever. I worked in a video store for years and was exposed to a ton of great films that way, and most are favorites. I'm very picky about horror, action, and comedy, though.

FAVORITE TV- Lots of animated comedy, british comedy, and sci-fi.
CURRENT: Doctor Who, Fargo, Game of Thrones, Hell On Wheels, Inside Amy Schumer, Person of Interest, Rick and Morty, South Park, Squidbillies, The Venture Brothers, The Walking Dead.
PAST: ATHF, Babylon 5, Battlestar Galactica (reimagined series), Boston Legal, Breaking Bad, Caprica, Dead Like Me, Dexter, The Drinky Crow Show, Farscape, Firefly, Invader Zim, The IT Crowd, Law & Order, Lexx, Newsradio, the various Stargate series, Star Trek TNG and DS9, Torchwood, Upright Citizens Brigade, The Whitest Kids U' Know, and Wonder Showzen.

FAVORITE ANIME- Akira, Attack On Titan, Berserk, Cowboy Bebop, Cromartie High School, Death Note, Elfen Lied, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ghost Stories (english dub), most Gundam series, Kino's Journey, Last Exile, Paranoia Agent, Samurai Champloo, Scrapped Princess, Space Dandy, Trigun, Twelve Kingdoms, Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, Voices of a Distant Star, Wolf's Rain, and anything by Studio Ghibli or Satoshi Kon.

FAVORITE MUSIC- Afro Celt Sound System, Aimee Mann, The Airborne Toxic Event, Amanda Palmer, Apocalyptica, April Smith and the Great Picture Show, Articolo 31, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, Ayumi Hamasaki, Bad Brains, Balkan Beat Box, The Baseballs, Be Your Own Pet, bis, Bivattchee, Björk, Blind Guardian, Brandi Carlile, brentalfloss, BUCK-TICK, Buddy Holly, B'z, Chris Isaak, Chumbawamba, Creedence Clearwater Revival, CROW'SCLAW, The Cure, Cui Jian, Cunninlynguists, Daath, Daladubz, Daniel Mustard, David Bowie, Dead Kennedys, d'espairsray, Dethklok, detroit7, The Detroit Cobras, Diesel, Dir En Grey, Do As Infinity, The Doors, Drain STH, Dropkick Murphys, Due le Quartz, Earthphish, Elvis Costello, some Elvis Presley, Emiliana Torrini, Erutan/Kate Covington, E.S. Posthumus, Fatboy Roberts, Faun, Figure, Fiona Apple, Firewater, Firkin, Flogging Molly, FLOW, Gackt, Garbage, Garfunkel & Oates, Gin Wigmore, Go Betty Go, Gogol Bordello, The Goops, Goretex, Gorillaz, Green Day, Grigori 3, Guns n' Roses, Hanzel und Gretyl, hide, High and Mighty Color, Home Made Kazoku, Hyde, Immortal Technique, Jack Off Jill, Jaldaboath, James, James Brown, Janis Joplin, Jedi Mind Tricks, Jewel, Joan Jett, Jonathan Coulton, Junkie XL, Juno Reactor, K's Choice, Katherine Jenkins, King Crimson, KMFDM, Korpiklaani, Laika, Lamb, Lamb of God, L'arc~en~ciel, Led Zeppelin, Lee Seung Yeol (or however you romanize his name, I just call him Korean Bono), Liam Lynch, Lisa Gerrard, Lisa Hall, Liz Phair, LM.C, LMF, Lords of Acid, L.P., LUNA SEA, Maaya Sakamoto, Madcap, Malice MIZER, Malukah, some Marilyn Manson, Massive Attack, Matisyahu, Maximum the Hormone, MC Chris, some Megadeth, Melissa Etheridge, some Metallica, Metric, Mike Doughty, Miyavi, Moby, Modest Mouse, Moi Dix Mois, Molotov, Mono, Morcheeba, Morningwood, Morphine, Morrissey, Moxy Fruvous, Mucc, The Muffs, Muse, Nanase Aikawa, Nightwish, Nirvana, The Noisettes, tons of contributors on OC Remix, Operation Ivy, Orange Range, Our Lady Peace, Paul Pena, Penpals, Pierrot, The Pillows, Pinhead Gunpowder, Pitchshifter, The Pixies, Porter Robinson, Portishead, Prodigy, Psycho Le Cemu, Radiohead, Rammstein, Rancid, Rasputina, The Red Elvises, Rob Zombie, Rock Sugar, Rogue Traders, The Rolling Stones, Scott Matthew, Self, Shaka Ponk, some Shakira, Shakkazombie, Shpongle, Sigur Ros, Silversun Pickups, Simon and Garfunkel, Skrillex, Skunk Anansie, Sleater-Kinney, The Smiths, Stabbing Westward, Steam Powered Giraffe, Stephen Lynch, Stiff Little Fingers, SubVibe, The Swell Season, System of a Down, Tori Amos, Trespassers William, Two Steps From Hell, Utsu-P, Versailles, The Vincent Black Shadow, Violent Femmes, Voltaire, Wardruna, The White Stripes, X Japan, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Yellow Monkey, The Yellow Studs, tons of film, anime, and video game scores. I love lots of classical, especially Holst, Dvorak, Chopin, Satie, Grieg, Mahler, Gorecki, Rachmaninov, Berlioz, and Tchiakovsky. Again, I could list this stuff forever. It's a constant irritant to me that I have over 350GB of music in my library and I've yet to find any decent mp3 player with the capacity for that much. I listen to thousands of different artists. I listen to genres that I didn't know existed a few years ago. There aren't really any genres of music I don't like at least something in, rock, pop, techno, rap, metal, punk, classical, reggae, alternative, folk, fusion, "world", J-rock, dubstep, "indie", you name it, though some far more than others (for instance, there's very little country I like, and I'm fairly picky about pop and rap). I don't really like any emo yet, but I am open to the possibility that I may one day find an emo band I like.

FAVORITE GAMES- Final Fantasy series, Dynasty Warriors series, Journey, Shadow of the Colossus, Grim Grimoire, Fat Princess, Age of Booty, Brothers: A Tale Of Two Sons, Saints Row, Star Wars: Battlefront (original), Burnout series, Starcraft, Syndicate (original), Warlords, War of the Monsters, Dokapon Kingdom, the original Arc the Lad trilogy. As far as tabletop stuff, I'm usually up for a game of Munchkin or Flux or certain playing card games (there's one I love but don't know the actual name of), and I really enjoyed the few games of 7 Wonders, Cash N' Guns, Citadels, and Ascension that I've played, but for the most part I make my own and watch other people play them.

FAVORITE FOODS- Chinese, Japanese (except sushi), Italian, Mexican, Indian, deli. I began easing into veganism for a while, primarily because of the health and fitness benefits (I agree with the moral, environmental, and economic reasons too, but I'm not about to start lecturing other people on what they should or shouldn't eat), but I'm not in a position socially or financially to fully convert right now, and I'm not sure I'd fully convert (some chicken very infrequently, most likely, since it'd be safer nutritionally and allow me to easily dine with non-vegan friends). Anyway, I love a lot of vegan food.

Six things I could never do without

1.Music (betcha'd never guess). I get irritable and even get headaches when I go too long without listening to any. I often need to complement my mood with matching music.

2.Movies, anime, books, and some games. (Again, how surprising) I treasure the feeling I'm given by a really great story.

3.Companionship. I need other people, and especially someone tender and loving of the female variety. (Okay, so I do go through some long stretches of time without this, but it sure feels like I can't do without it, damn it.)

4.Sleep. Though I do on occasion go without it for obscenely long times, I crave it's brief respite from the ravages of the world.

5.Wind. I love the feel of a strong breeze.

7.Thoughts (Imagine yourself as a dumber person, could you stand it? Not to sound condescending to the mentally handicapped or anything; I'm simply saying the thought of being at a certain level of intelligence/perception/insight and then being reduced to another is horrible to me. This is one of the reasons why I've never been interested in hard drug use; I don't want to risk messing up my brain more than it already is.)

6.The ability to correctly count to si-- ...crap.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Artistic ideas, the feasibility of my dreams, pointless philosophy and weird hypotheticals, changing definitions of love, whether I truly have the patience and selflessness and objectivity to be a parent someday, mortality, wondering if any etymologists have been stung to death by a typo, what the Ainulindalë would sound like as an overture, planning the most efficient to-do list possible to the extent that nothing actually gets done, the reliability of memory and how one can function without it, how very nice two X chromosomes make a person look without clothing, wondering if something's wrong with one of my eyes, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that my one of my longest running friendships has become very similar to the friendship between Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski, wondering why I find traffic lights so amusing, daydreaming, whether a dating site can ever lead me to someone who I feel that "spark" with...
On a typical Friday night I am
I currently live in a structure where days of the week don't mean much to me. I know Friday is the end of a normal work week and therefore the standard party night, but that's not my thing. I don't go clubbing or bar hopping or whatever the hell people do on Fridays. It varies. Sometimes I stay home and work on a project. Sometimes I hang out with friends, which has become an increasingly infrequent occurrence due to conflicting schedules. Sometimes I work. Sometimes I get that song "Friday" by Rebecca Black stuck in my head and the people around me start wondering why I'm shouting "OH GOD NO!" Sometimes I go to an online testing/personals site and type long paragraphs.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Hmm, I'm not a very private person, I tend to wear my heart and my autobiography on my sleeve... yeah, my fashion sense needs work. Books strapped to your arms just get you a lot of weird looks, but most restaurants will kick you out for wearing internal organs on your clothes.

So, lessee, there's very little that's "private", and those things that are, you'll only find out by building a relationship with me so I'm comfortable sharing them and you can put those things into a personal context. So here are some things that I guess I'm either a little ashamed of, or that are very personal, or something along those lines, I guess...

--I'm not nearly as well-read as I probably should be.

--I've spent a lot of time unemployed (but am not currently). I partially blame the economy, but also some of my stupid choices over the years. It's been a social damper, but good motivation along my path of self-employment.

--I cry at sad movies, tv shows, books, comics, music, and even video games (hey, play FF7 or Journey or something like that and tell me your eyes didn't get at least a little bleary). Okay, I tear up, not weep, if "cry" is a little too ambiguous (though there are a handful of songs with some really painful memories attached that may make me brood a bit along with the tears). This probably doesn't belong in this section since I'm not private at all about it-- if someone doesn't cry at such things I'd worry that they're either very dispassionate or very bottled-up-- but I don't know where else to put it and it seemed worth mentioning, in case you have something against guys who use their tear ducts for something other than eye-lube.

--I've never been diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive, but think I might be, or at least have those tendencies. I got over some (I no longer cave to the urge to go back and make sure I locked some door several times in a row), but it still manifests in other ways. This makes the Internet a pain in the ass. Related video/article/etc. sidebars are the bane of my productivity. There are several sites I know I should only visit if absolutely necessary. (This is actually one of them.)

--I've had some bouts of depression in the past, more circumstantial than biological, and there were a couple of times in my life where I was suicidal. I got through it all, though, and have found the strength to get through those kinds of situations and far worse without succumbing to the thoughts and feelings that weighed me down then. Overall I'm actually a ridiculously (go ahead, bring on the ridicule) positive person. Anyway, if having low points in my past keeps you from appreciating me in the present, it's your loss.

--I used to be a bit of a slut, but meaningless sex got a bit, well, meaningless, and there was a point where I got paranoid that I might've gotten an STD. It turned out I hadn't, and still test all negatives every time, but it made me try to be a bit more responsible and a bit less frivolous. Granted, I'm a guy, and I have as healthy a libido as anyone, so if I'm single or in an open relationship and I meet a hot girl interested in something casual, I'm probably game. But given the choice between casual/fwb or a long-term relationship, I'm inclined to choose the latter. Besides, I'm not getting any younger. I won't say there's no free milk here, but please at least get a price check on the cow.
You should message me if

1. You like some of the favorites I listed and want to talk arts & entertainment, recommend music and movies and such to each other, or ask me to explain the appeal of one of them, etc.

2. You read one of the rants above or in my journal section, and want to discuss philosophy or whatever I was preaching about.

3. I am the subject of an epic prophecy to which you are privy and you want me to lead your people to a golden age.

4. You have need of an amateur writer/game designer/artist.

5. You're bored and think talking to me might be less boring. I will try not to prove you wrong.

6. Your dream guy is ridiculously tall, unstoppably artistic, proudly and passionately geeky, silly in the best of times and caring in the worst of times, and gives hugs better than anyone else's, and all of that is important enough to you that you can deal with frequent poor time management and a tendency to be alternately obsessive and unfocused.

Oh, being within an hour or two's travel-time and/or tall are both plusses... not necessities at all-- I'm not going to ignore you if you're a three foot tall resident of outer Mongolia, but they are conveniences that I treasure in the rare instances that they occur, so... y'know... bonus points.

Another huge plus is if you say what you mean and mean what you say. For instance, if we're on a date and the conversation strays toward me talking about an ex, and I cut myself off, citing that a guy isn't supposed to talk about their exes, and you don't want to hear about my exes, it's a big bonus if you actually say that instead of saying "No, go ahead, I don't mind" and being secretly annoyed. I'd prefer being with someone who admits that she doesn't really like that song, that tells me when something I say or do bothers her, that realizes the tone in which she is honest is a better way to spare someone's feelings than being dishonest.

It's also a plus if you're a geek. If you want a relationship with me, you only really need to *like* geeks, because I am one (hopefully just in the "passion for books, film, games, etc." way and not any of the socially-awkward stereotypes), but it is a nice bonus if you yourself are one, since we'll likely have a lot of common ground and plenty to talk about and do together. Enjoying board games at least is a big plus.

And you probably shouldn't just be looking for sex. I'm a guy, so let's face it, part of me is loathe to say no to a strictly sexual relationship, but still, I'm not particularly interested in any one-night stands and definitely not interested in any cheating, and even if a long-term sex-only relationship is a possibility, I probably still won't be interested unless there is some potential for it to become something more.

Another thing to point out is how secular a life I lead: I try to be very tolerant of people's religious beliefs, but I'm very set in my own "spiritual but not religious" type viewpoint and lifestyle, so if you are of a particular faith and want to be with someone who either is the same or will one day convert, you may want to look elsewhere. If on the other hand, you could live with someone who doesn't share your religion or observe its customs/rituals/etc., I can do the same.

Finally, I should warn you that I get a lot of messages on here and my inbox tends to get full. I try to respond to every message sent to me, even if it's just a polite no thank you, so if I haven't responded, it means I'm either too bogged down going through all of these or that the inbox is full and the message hasn't been delivered yet (I can only hope OKC actually notifies you when messaging someone whose inbox is full).
The two of us