You: Psychologically damaged, sexually depraved, morally flexible vixen with low self-esteem, raging libido, hostility toward men and poor impulse control.
No? Okay, then let's try this:
The age on my profile is my real age. My photos are fairly recent (the year is always in the caption) and honesty represent the way I look, except for one or two really old ones on there from when my hair was still red.
I will not complete you. I am not your missing half. If half of you is missing a relationship isn't going to fix it. I will make you laugh and we will have a lot of fun. We might even fall in love and spend the rest of our lives together. Ideally I would prefer to be in a relationship and get the hell off of okcupid, but I'm an easy going, no expectations type and I'd like to just see where things go without projecting into the future (that doesn't mean I'm looking for a hookup). If we meet and there's no chemistry I've got enough self esteem to not take it personally, and I hope the same goes for you. If there's no romantic attraction but we click on some other level we could easily become friends. It's happened before, in fact it's happened many times.
The education section is blank because OKC doesn't have an option for autodidact.
My kids aren't kids anymore and they don't live in Southern California. I don't care whether you have kids or not, I don't care how tall you are or what your ethnicity is. I don't care what religion you practice as long as you're not an extremist about it. I'm an atheist but some of the nicest people I know are Mormons or Scientologists or Muslims or Hindus. I've dated Pagans, Jews, even Evangelical Christians and it was never an issue because they were the kinds of Christians who remembered what Jesus actually said about poor people (we need to help them) and about gay people (absolutely nothing). They were more interested in the message than in what a bunch of dudes with an agenda wrote in a book in the fourth century. If your faith makes you a better person, I'm fine with it. If you use it to condemn other people for their vices or lifestyles, I'm definitely not the guy you're looking for.
Too often people don't think through the logic of their own beliefs. If God created Man in His image, then God is at least ten percent gay. Just look around, people.
I'm handy, I can fix and make things, in fact I can repair almost anything. I'm adept at computers; I wrote software for 20 years and I'm an expert level user of Mac and Windows.
I also play the clarinet and guitar, poorly, but a hell of a lot better than I can sing or dance.
I have a lot of archaic and obsolete skills however, including music copying and transcription with pen and ink, communicating via morse code , doing math with a slide rule, celestial navigation, chemical photography, drafting and orthographic projection with mechanical drafting machine and I'm pretty good with a real pinball machine.
I'm a beginner at Go, but I'm a pretty mean Scrabble player, and I'm the guy you want for your partner in Trivial Pursuit. Unless the subject is sports, in which case we're fucked.
Movies: Dr. Strangelove, 2001, Clockwork Orange. Dark City, Blade Runner, Forbidden Planet, Day the Earth Stood Still (original), Mars Attacks, What About Bob, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Pulp Fiction, Sin City, Casablanca, Nearly everything by Kurosawa, Stanley Kubrick and Martin Scorcese.