49San Francisco, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm looking for a woman with whom to create some time. I'm a long-time local and yet I still enjoy walking the city and taking advantage of its hangouts and sights. I am the kind of person to head out for a solo walk on a weekend -- and make new friends by the end of the day. I enjoy it and it keeps me young -- but I do miss having "a constant." (Variables work, too.)

I hail from Scotland, where I grew up, and reached the golden state by way of Ohio. (Who is not from Ohio?!) Those two factors alone would be enough to explain why I'm still in SF. But I've also taken to the local culture and have been through many of its better (and some of its errant) phases. So from acid jazz to early Burning Man through dotbomb to survival and revival, I've stuck with many old friends, cultivated a web of new ones, and yet managed somehow to remain chronically if not terminally single and unattached.

Emotionally I enjoy a good situation and mood, and I'll go places with people that most will not. I get into human situations; perhaps should have been a therapist. Nowadays I'm learning to manage my managers and read clients. I used to choose nutty to the point I was hanging out at baggage claim. I can wind up my presence to a pretty high level, and I see people, sometimes better than they see themselves, quickly and deeply.

I had a grandfather from Singapore, a grandmother from Spain, and have a mother who is German, and father living in Spain. I have traveled most of Europe, parts of Asia, and dipped into N Africa. I lived a year and a half in Berlin before the wall came down.

I'm funny, easy of spirit, and experienced. Though I have work for myself, preferring the road less traveled, I've gone corporate for the paycheck. I love music, I play guitar, I write, I read philosophy and literature, and I'm a film buff. In the past I've been an avid snowboarder, cyclist, and rock-climber, but this is looking more like a year of tennis, biking, and walking. I'm up for drinks, and especially up for pool. Dining out can be fun, but cooking is more fun. I am self-aware and other-aware, and I see relations among people acutely and with insight. I raised my mother and sister during early and chaotic years, and I love a woman's way. While I love conversation, I can say as much by sitting comfortably in quiet. Women like me.

My sense of humor was genetically designed to open escape routes, and I use it frequently. But capture is equally fun, and a better use of time. So hey, enough about me. I'm looking for a spirit to join me. Get in touch.
What I’m doing with my life
Having been independent all my professional life, if one can call amateur web development and consulting that, I sold out and joined a hefty consultancy year and a half ago. The work may be dull at times and the button-down culture leaves volumes to fill, but the pay is steady and for any independent business people out there you know what that means! I get to mentor analysts and consultants in the ways of UX and develop competencies in social UX within the firm's design agency.

What am I doing with my life now? I just learned to sail, so after a few years of bumming rides with friends I can now take a boat out unassisted. So looking forward to some close calls and heaving to on the Bay.

I walk weekends, summer and fall in the headlands and Mt Tam, now more in the city. My walks take the form of a religious pilgrimage most Saturdays and Sundays, from Castro where I reside to Hayes Valley, Fillmore, Marina, Fish Wharf up to N Beach, Chinatown, Union Square and either back on Muni or up Market to Valencia and home by way of the ever-woodstock Dolores park. All of which then warrants a trip to Bi-Rite for any damn thing I want to eat and more, and home to cook.

Most of my friends are Mission/Noe and have kids more accomplished online than me now, and so my haunts are mission cafes with books or an iPad and the latest biz/tech/literature and expressos adorned with leaves or peace symbols or batman or whatever the barrista has conjured up for the day.

In terms of love and romance, I just never settled down. In hindsight I just wasn't ready and now it's, well, harder to meet people. Hence the internets right? All my last relationships started here.

So that's the story. I love music, play guitar - lead and acoustic, love cooking, biking, walking & running, reading and facebooking. I'm happy, productive and alive.
I’m really good at
Cooking, improvisational guitar, people, ideas, world affairs, making shit happen, and other things.

Due very likely to alienating regard received during childhood on account of having a Chinese last name and a German mother growing up in Scotland, mitigated by that country's residual tribal and gang-like tendencies, I'm at home as an outsider but a competent mischief maker. I like airports because we're all equally uprooted. I perform best under pressure — and this has led me to some tragic relationship choices. But I've got better.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, or so I've been told. My smile and my laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Stuff I read/have read... Lolita's Sister, Too Big to Inject with Taxpayer Capital (expanded edition);A Supposedly Funny Thing I Have Done On Occasion; Running Into Scissors; The Kid Who Picks the Kite off the Ground for the Kite Runner; You're Ok, How Am I?; The Girl With the DragonSlayer Tatoo; Eating Animals (see my journal on how I got this book), Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, The world is flat, Gravity's Rainbow, Under the Volcano, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Neuromancer, Blood Meridian... Gilles Deleuze Jean Baudrillard, Adorno]], Marcuse, Bataille, Giddens, Goffman, pomo, semiotics, philosophy, psychology, sociology, media theory, but I'm most likely to be reading philosophy, sociology, psychology, and the cultural crit stuff that woke me up back in school.

Music on rotation recently ..
pink floyd, dire straits, cat power, the shins, modest mouse, death cab for cutie, preenders, grateful dead, sasha and digweed, the who, led zeppelin, coceau twins, this mortal coil, swans, devendra banhart, joni mitchell, miles davis, tori amos, van halen, ruthie foster, coldplay, bob dylan, tom petty, genesis, jeff buckley, lucinda williams, norah jones, nick cave, underworld

food -- vietnamese, indian, chinese, pizza, but it's hard to top a good steak cooked just shy of living. i've been on a cooking kick of late and trying my hand at dishes that require frequent tasting along the way... mole, chile verde, chicken tikka masala, roast chicken, wonton soup, egg drop soup, spaghetti & meatballs, baked fish.

films & tv -- off-beat, HBO, british crime dramas, eastern european, french new wave, Breaking Bad, hitchcock, welles, andrei tarkovsky, The Newsroom, bela tarr, wong kar wai, kubrick, godard, altman[, antonioni, but also ridley scott, sci fi, monty python, british crime tv series, sopranos, deadwood, LOST, and stuff i'll watch on tv includes breaking bad, The Right Stuffing; Mission Probable: Statistical Protocol; Carlito Went That-A-Way; soccer, nfl, formula 1, family guy, frontline, charlie rose, tour de france, Veep, The Thick of It , West Wing, Homeland, Frontline, Sherlock, Downton, Foyle's War, MI-5, and a ton more British mystery/drama. Some of my all-time favorite films include (and I used to travel to the Berlinale to catch them, so I was a bit hard-core)...
Satan Tango, three women, thin red line, donnie brasco, once upon a time in the west, the third man, gilda, french connection, dog day afternoon, the proposition, red, white, blue, fallen angels, la dolce vita, fight club, klute, naked, true romance, contempt, M, l'eclisse, amelie, the son, paris, texas, damnation, all about my mother, carandiru, kitchen stories, chungking express, cracker, elling, the sea, wings of desire, the mirror, stalker, 101 reykjavik, the right stuff, miller's crossing, barton fink, gosford park, black books, eddie izzard, night of the iguana, ikiru, through a glass darkly, apocalypse now, patton, the holy grail , spinal tap
the list goes on and on and i used to blog about film
Six things I could never do without
Key signatures, heat, running shoes, garlic, sunshine, forgetting
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What's next. Or how to get there. Or what it feels like as it unfolds. I'm settled into a job now that may or may not last a while, but having been independent for a long time I'm not used to the stability and time a sanctioned life provides. So I think about what to reach for, and how to grasp it. How to reconcile corporate work with a Marxist imagination. Or whether to dwell upon or simply learn about climate change. Or what happened to reading books in cafes and having conversations and how it would be easier to meet a woman in a cafe by IM. Whether it might not have been better for twitter to move to Burlingame so now there'd be a thousand millionaires looking for homes down there instead of in the mission.

Or truth be told I think a lot about what I'm making for dinner.
On a typical Friday night I am
Cooking - looking forward to getting outside for the weekend. Or at Local Edition 5 pm sharp for a few rounds of artisanal cocktails prepared with all due ritual and care by guys look like they should have been barbers or novelists in the late and high 20s but missed their chance and are dutifully re-creating the vibe in a less roaring but equally bearded 21st century SF.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...about whom?
You should message me if
I wrote too much, but you're not quite ready to click away ;-)
The two of us