Searching for a soul mate is futile - - -
The ideal partner is the one you create. . . -Ade Calhoun
According to Alain de Botton, of the New York Times, writing "Why you will marry the wrong person:
"The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist), but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently — the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the “not overly wrong” person. Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition."
That sure made a great deal of uncommon sense to me!
I am willing to relocate for the right friendship, so please don't let that remain as a limiting factor. . . after having now entirely given up on having even this first paragraph read, I have decided to make my relocation interest just a whole lot more evident in hopes that perhaps now, finally, "we" might get past THIS as a factor to be determined that of this particular moment, I am not yet just to be found sitting at your next door's 7-11 on the shelf's rack, awaiting to become so superficially considered as having any possible potential to be taken at all any more seriously!
That now fully disclosed right up front, I've learned over the years invested searching here that I do best with women who I've matched up with at somewhere's higher than the 90% calculus, and only when that has come about after each one of us have answered at least 300 or more of the questions.
I am always profoundly happiest when found somewhere's around water, preferably being enjoyed after a decently long hike, but in all possible instances, out of the realm of the usual possibilities, where the lizards, fish, frogs and turtles vastly outnumber the visitors observing 'em. . . watching stars whilst discussing the world's affairs would be for me, just about as good as it could possibly get. Recently purchased a 53' houseboat sitting in Lake Powell, Utah that I'd damned near kill for the chance to share exploring its 2,200 miles of shoreline with you and my chocolate Labradors for a couple of weeks taken this summer.
Matters of character have become incredibly important to me, that you continue to be found as seeking a path of personal growth keeps it interesting, and most everything else is just a matter of respect and negotiation so as to insure that each's needs for fulfillment are sufficiently exceeded, not just met.
Admittedly now starting over with a fresh start, in both my personal life, as well as in now having all but completely healed from what was a complete train-wreck experienced back in 2008, survived the litigation without having become unduly hardened, I have invested the past years in becoming emotionally ready to now be looking forward towards earning the honor of my having a real pardner with whom to share my next journeys, as well as the rest of my life with.
I am actively looking forward to the privilege of enjoying all of the responsibilities I owe to another in fulfilling their needs as they might equally take exactly such a reciprocal pride and pleasure in their interest to be number 1 in the interdependency of my wishing you to look forward to be wanted to become my one and only in fulfilling mine.
I am an omnivore, with a strong tilting to the healthy side of the platter.
I've learned that cooking is little different than chemistry, just that you get to eat your experiments when they are done, good and bad alike. Really believe that sharing a good meal with a person is an excellent form of beginning communications, although my concept of foreplay involves just slightly deeper intimacy than is usually the case around meal preparation and cleanup, I have to confess that I've never minded becoming enthused over a great meal, warmed up while cleaning it all up afterwards, and then continuing what has been an excellent conversation over into an intimate evening of massaging complete digestion of the day's occurrences while relaxing into the contemplation of something similar happening to my mind and soul as a continuim of transitioning from where we left off having just endeavored to have nourished our bodies. Its all a life process, why not celebrate it in all of its respective colors!
The harmony derived from my finally having my thoughts, actions and deeds all synchronized now working together locks in my security of having become able to really feel good about being able to recognize that women I meet are as likely to similarly retain holding special feelings for valuing what was good about their past love(s) previously found existent in their past lives, without either of us having to be looking over our shoulders wondering if they too have moved on, such that their past is not continuing to remain a boat anchor fixing them to the shore while their ship also needs to set sail on discovering what could become the voyage to be taken with me in the discovery of what journey's can become of the rest of their lives.
Came across a paragraph written to me by what seemed to have been a rather particularly intelligent woman, describing what she was searching for to the effect posited:
"I seek a partner ultimately for marriage, who's been through hell and accepts that baggage is real and the guts of what makes up every person, who doesn't believe "It's all good" because it simply isn't, who's a mid-brain creative+analytical mix/entrepreneurial/techier-bent, who's lifetime loyal as were my family members of my parents' generation, who's a curious and inquisitive world explorer, who was raised to be/is an actual gentlemen and knows what that involves, comfortable in Sorels and a tux, who believes there's some high power to the universe past himself, who understands the requirements of reciprocity, obligation and daily respect in all relationships, who values and admires his female partner for all her uniqueness as a daily gift and would protect her with his life, and who can readily call himself an idiot, wrong, unknowledgeable or inexperienced when he actually is -- while being open to learning from others, being appreciative and in awe of the small and large in the world around him, behaving with humility, compassion and courage, and made of stuff that identifies him as more of a giver than a taker. Who's the same person in public and private, who doesn't believe in betrayal, bullying, deception, dishonesty or manipulation, or living in any manner but in the light. "
and did it ever resonate particularly with me for having described what standard I would love to attempt to live up to in earning the respect of another holding me to exactly such a wonderful standard. . . it summarized as best as I've ever been presented it, in one place and time, exactly what I would want to grow into, as well as remain the benchmark for what I would want to shoot for in becoming exactly such a person for one who would want to so love me being me. . . I thank her for having so shared it with me, and just had to have pasted it here as a reminder to hisself, if no others, for what I would hope to aspire to be endeavoring to become self-actualizing into.
Finally, it would be soooooo refreshing for the dear reader to understand that I am positioned to be eager to contemplate the need for me to become the one moving to join up with my future life's partner, such that any present distance remaining betweenst us is only that, a temporary situation that can be easily corrected, should circumstance prove the need for me to relocate so as to respect the roots that you too have firmly planted within what you have come to have valued in your own community.
Thank you for having considered me for having any potential to be worthy of becoming your future closest bestest friend and unconditional lover.. If you've made it this far, know in your own heart of hearts that for sure, I would love to hear back from yous. . .